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The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like

3.40  ·  Rating details ·  239 ratings  ·  26 reviews
We all know that networking is important, and that forming relationships with others is a vital part of success. But sometimes it seems like networking removes all emotions from the equation and focuses only on immediate goals...whereas the kind of relationships that have true staying power, give us joy, and support us in the long run are founded on simply liking each othe ...more
Paperback, 240 pages
Published September 15th 2011 by AMACOM
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3.40  · 
Rating details
 ·  239 ratings  ·  26 reviews

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Quick review for a quick read. Michelle Tillis Lederman's "The 11 Laws of Likability" was a valuable read for me on a collective note, with some caveats. I really like reading business and productivity oriented literature, so this book was right up my alley when I requested it as a galley back in 2011. I recently came back to it as I was perusing books in the category and I really enjoyed the fact that not only the concepts of each "law" were spelled out, but accompanied by practical issues that ...more
Lis Carey
Jul 15, 2011 rated it really liked it
How can you network more effectively? Be more likable.

And while that may seem a bit flip, it really is the key. As Lederman says, "People do business with people they like." If you are not likable and reliable, people will find someone else to do business with.

The good news: you can learn how to be more likable, how to make your likability more visible and apparent to others, and Lederman provides a nifty little primer for getting started. And she starts with a personal revelation: Some years ba
Apr 03, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: career, non-fiction
Each "law" own chapter with summary at end. Nothing new.

Section 1: Authenticity: make connections you want, "do it, re-frame it, or delete it"

Self-Image: like yourself, positive self-talk, convert negative self-talk

Perception: it is reality - we create, first impression matter, keep an open mind (how do people perceive you), be flexible/modify behavior to align with authentic self, be consistent (in verbal, vocal and visual) in how you present yourself/thoughts, do away with self-doubt, know
Nov 14, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Remember when you were younger, adults would constantly remind you on how to act: "Put that down", "say thank you," "smile". Refreshingly, I felt like this book acted as my adult, giving helpful reminders on how to be perceived better by others. Yes, some of the 11 laws are common sense, things we already know, but this book does a great job at explaining them thoroughly and reminding the reader when, where and how to use them.

This book differs from other networking books because it isn't focus
The Reading Countess
Though geared for people in business, I initially asked for this title quite selfishly to share with my son. Smart, funny, handsome (if I do say so myself); he often questions himself. Selling himself short, he could brush up on some "people skills" as well.

Reading it through the lense of a mom looking for tips to help her child, I'm sure I read it differently than another reader who picked it up for business purposes. Either way, The 11 Laws of Likability is specific and helpful. Told through a
Feb 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
straight forward and practical solution to improving your interpersonal skills.

likeability = don't do things that people don't like + do things that people like.

it was an eye opener.
Walter T. Mara
Aug 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A very useful book

I found this book to be very useful and very educational. The author explains everything in a very organized manner.
Nov 21, 2017 rated it did not like it
I think this might be a good book for someone who is new to the concept.
I have to admit, I did not finish the book.
Earl Gray
This is a very affirming book - some of the things in it you are probably already doing. This will help you do them better. At your best, your natural, instinctive likeability will be encouraged and enhanced.

You get more from this book from the aspects of likability which are outside of your natural, instinctive behaviors - especially if they are quite a bit outside, and you are unknowingly losing momentum in your connectivity.

Every chapter finishes with a Refresh Your Memory section, which is a
Jennifer Heise
Oct 18, 2013 rated it liked it
I actually listened to this as an audiobook, and despite the helpfulness of the content, I only finished it by sheer bloodymindedness. (The reader of the audiobook was a male with a really annoying voice, and having it read to me made me want to claw my face off.) On the other hand, this is the book I wish I had had as a teenager/young adult trying to figure out how to get along with strangers, and how this all worked-- even though this is a book about how to get along professionally rather than ...more
Dec 01, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: business
If you do any sort of networking in your job, this book is for you. Lederman, a professional trainer and coach, realized the key to networking is likability and in her 11 Laws, outlines the ways you can ensure you make strong connections. Like all business and self-help books, a lot of the advice seems like common sense, especially to extroverts who are good at networking anyway. However, taken as a whole, the 11 laws can inspire you to be open to every potential new contact. Lederman does a gre ...more
Josh L
Mar 06, 2012 rated it liked it
You can read my full review at Quieted Waters.

Michelle Tillis Lederman, the author of The 11 Laws of Likability, is the founder of Executive Essentials, a company that provides executive coaching among other services. Lederman writes this book out of a stunning realization she had — wanting to be liked is a good thing. In fact, Lederman argues that networking is nothing more than being your authentic, likable self.

One of the strongest chapters in this book focused on likability in conversation,
Clare Cannon
Feb 23, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: adults, non-fiction
An insightful, practical book that facilitates social interaction by building positive knowledge of oneself and of the attitudes and social skills that help you to understand and relate to others. It covers things like authenticity, working on the way you perceive things, energy and enthusiasm, healthy interest in other people, the ability to listen well, knowing how to give to others, and the patience necessary for relationships to grow. Just as helpful as books like Personality Plus and The Po ...more
Jan 23, 2017 rated it did not like it
The pretend superficial conversations really broke the book for me. I don't know if these were real situation but they seemed so fake to me. There might be a few good points that get a bit deeper, but it seems lost in the vastness of superficiality.

The last nail in the coffin were the several parts of the book analyzing social media. I don't remember the exact line, but it went along the lines "Facebook is a social networking platform with no other agenda than connecting people...". I laughed ou
Nessy Dimitrova
The key message in this book:
Engaged, meaningful connections aren’t about you, but about relationships. Connecting with people and forging productive networks require you to seek out shared interests, listen actively and set a foundation for trust.

Actionable advice:
Make a list of three new people you met in the past two weeks.
Keeping track of the people you meet is a great way to keep your networking on point. After you make such a list, you can reach out to each of the people before the week i
1. Leave w/ positive mood + opportunity for follow up (helping them).

2. Support and generosity makes you too of mind

3. Friendliness + Relevance + Realness.

4. The ability to create positive attitudes in other people through the delivery of emotional and physical benefits;

5. The more likeable you are, the more likely you are to be on the receiving end of a positive choice from which you profit;

6. Likeable people inspire others to give more;

7. One of the greatest benefits of likeabil
Andrew Lukyanenko
Jan 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I have listened to audio version of this book.
I really liked this book. It describes genuine way to connect with other people.
There is one big point though - this book is mostly aimed on people, whose job involves interacting with others. Like taking part in conferences, training session and so on. Also, I think, it is for those, who like acquiring new contacts and getting to know new people.
Some of advices seemed to me rather forced and in certain cases even annoying, but most of them are quite
Dec 19, 2012 rated it really liked it
Most of this is common sense, but it's a good refresher on what behaviors help you to establish better interpersonal relationships. Few points apply exclusively to those in the business world, so the advice can apply to most people. There is a short stint on how social networking operates and how it is useful, which may be extremely useful for some or redundant for others.
Allie Bates
Feb 21, 2013 rated it liked it
Eleven laws rooted in common sense. The method the author uses is to explain the law, provide examples from her own experience, and then follow up with applications that help the reader recognize how the law is manifested in themselves, and then methods, quizzes, or applications to exercise it in real life. Reviewed here.
Chris King
Good book, and better than I expected. If, like me, you tend to be introverted, there is a lot of useful content here for you.

Much of it is common sense, but a good reinforcement, nicely presented. I listened to the audio version and wouldn't mind re-listening, or reading.
I thought this would be more about personal connections, but it comes back to networking and it's just a rehash of things I already knew. It's a good book if you've never read anything else on networking or making friends. (God, it sounds so sad when I put it like that.)
Tadas Talaikis
Jun 04, 2016 rated it it was ok
Blah blah blah, same after same, I should remind myself to wait more for books with good and new scientific research than reading countless cliches.
John Wee
Mar 16, 2016 rated it really liked it
Effective book on networking and communication. Particularly useful for the more introverted.
Feb 07, 2014 rated it liked it
Nice short reminder of things we often forget during new encounters. Most enjoyed the networking piece and what do you do for others.
Michelle Lederman
Aug 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Of course I love it - I wrote it! :)
Sigrid Fry-Revere
Sep 24, 2015 rated it liked it
Some interesting tips. I found the discussion of how friends have expectations of each other and how things fall apart when those expectations aren't met.
Adrian Bolosin
rated it liked it
Oct 23, 2016
rated it it was ok
Aug 31, 2015
Carolyn Amundson
rated it really liked it
Nov 08, 2017
Tung Dao
rated it really liked it
Jul 06, 2016
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Michelle Tillis Lederman, named one of Forbes Top 25 Networking Experts, is the author of The 11 Laws of Likability, Heroes Get Hired, and Nail The Interview - Land The Job. Her next book, The Connectors Club will be released late 2018. Michelle is the founder and CEO of Executive Essentials, which provides customized communications and leadership coaching and training programs. Michelle believes ...more
“Confidence comes from managing our self-doubts and accepting the fact that we are working on bettering our imperfections, even while appreciating these imperfections as qualities that make us unique and likable.” 5 likes
“It is through the strength of what is genuine that meaningful connections build into relationships.” 5 likes
More quotes…