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Dark Lord: The Teenage Years

(Dark Lord #1)

3.82  ·  Rating details ·  1,786 ratings  ·  338 reviews
Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dar ...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published October 1st 2011 by Orchard
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Average rating 3.82  · 
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 ·  1,786 ratings  ·  338 reviews

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Mar 14, 2013 rated it really liked it
I really wasn't sure about this book, the blurb sounded quite funny and made me giggle a bit but it's not my usual read. We have the author coming to do a talk at our library tomorrow so I decided I should try it. I started it at break time at work and managed to read about 35 pages in 15 minutes. It's actually a really easy read. I got home from work today and decided to carry on, I was only going to read for about an hour and see how far I got but in the end I got so into the story that I had ...more
Mundie Moms & Mundie Kids
I feel like my review needs to start off with an evil laugh. After all this is a review for Dark Lloyd, or as he's known in our world Dirk Lloyd. Known as The Dark Lord, Dirk Lloyd is now a human, in our world and has no powers. Once the powerful ruler of a dark world, Dirk some how fell into our world and without his ring, and his power, he's unable to get back into his world. Forced to live life as a human, Dirk goes through various tests, and his given a foster home to stay in, since no one k ...more
Dec 28, 2012 rated it liked it

I’ve been reading quite a few children’s books recently. The other day I picked up one called Dark Lord: The Teenage Years and proceeded to devour it over two long train journeys.

I quite enjoyed the book in a easy-to-read pass-time sort of way, but I was more intrigued by the similarities and differences it bore to one of my favourite kid’s TV shows, Invader Zim.

The two are relatively similar in story, style and at times, tone. Firstly and most simply is the story. In one, an alien

I was intrigued by this book.

I am a school librarian, and this book popped up in the booktalks list provided by Scholastic to promote their book fair. It has an interesting cover and just sounded so unusual. Who wouldn't want to find out more about a powerful, evil dark lord trapped in a human boy's body and forced to attend school?

So, of course it is the first book I read off the fair--even before it ended.

I liked it; it definitely is unusual. The story begins with Dark Lord crashing into a p
Apr 23, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
What if Voldemort from Harry Potter, Sauron from Lord of the Rings or some villainous character showed up one day- except they had been stripped of their powers and put into the body of a teenage boy? Well then you would have a situation like the one the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme found himself in one day.
Dark Lord, who started to be called Dirk Lloyd once the police found him in a parking lot(because who’s name is Dark Lord he must have said Dirk Lloyd)
Apr 29, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
The Dark Lord, AKA Dirk Lloyd and the Lloyd of Dirkness, is hurled through an interplanar portal from the Dark Lands into a small town. Rescued by the police, he is placed in a foster home until the source of his trauma can be determined. Since he now inhabits the body of a 12 year old boy, he is sentenced to the worst punishment of all - seventh grade. But Dirk is determined to regain his kingdom. With the aid of his lackeys, minions, lickspittles, or friends, he tries various spells to get hom ...more
My dad loved jokes and pranks, and I am my father’s daughter. The difference between us is that my dad could keep up a joke quite a while; my jokes have to be quick, or my face gives me away—and at my victim’s first sign of doubt, I cave. One year, when a disappointing winter yielded no school cancellations, I woke them up on April Fools’ Day with “Guess what?!!!! It’s a snow day today!!” After a couple cheers, Alex (a champion at making jokes himself and thus a bit leery of the attempts of othe ...more
C.J. Busby
Jan 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: childrens
Dark Lord: The Teenage Years won the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize, and it doesn't disappoint. The premise is brilliant - the Dark Lord, Incarnation of Evil, World Burner, master of the Iron Tower of Despair, has been sent to another plane by an incredibly powerful spell cast by the White Wizard, Hasdruban. In fact, he has been sent to our world, in the body of a puny teenage boy. No Gauntlets of Ineluctable Destruction on his hands, no tusks, no fangs, no spell of Agonizing Obedience.

The Dark Lor
Feb 11, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A few weeks back I won a copy of Dark Lord: The Early Years from Jennifer Hoffine. I finally got a chance to read it this past month, and I LOVED it.

A boy is found in the parking lot of the local superstore. When police officers come over to help, the boy insists that he is the Dark Lord, ruler of his realm, ruthless and cruel. The police officers assume the boy has had a psychotic break and take him to the station to try to locate his family.

But no family
Angelina Ortiz
Sep 09, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Falling down down down it taking long the ground hurts open my eyes and where I'am I? My book is fiction it about a kid name Dirk Lloyd (aka The Dark Lord), then he wakes up in a place he calls the human world. My opinion of this book is that it really good it weird that he think the from a different plain and he not a human boy.
This story's about how a kid name Dirk Lloyd think he is from the nine never worlds he is found in a parking lot very weak a ambulance come and take him to the hospital
Kendell Jordan
Jul 18, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Check out all my reviews at Kenn's Reviews

Dark Lord was, I believe, written for children between the ages of 8 and 12. However I decided to read it anyways and I am glad I did. I found this book compelling as I was thrown into a Dark Lord’s worst nightmare. The author’s writing drew me in and I loved feeling like I was part of the action.

The Dark Lord was thrown from his plane of existence by the White Wizard and deposited on Earth, either by accident or as a punishment. On Earth his soul was i
Ms. Yingling
Mar 04, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Curses on the White Wizard, Hasdruban the Pure! In a battle that the Dark Lord was surely winning, Hasdruban managed to send the Dark Lord into our world, where he was turned into a puny human boy. Beset by social workers and pyschologists, he is mistakenly called Dirk and sent to live with a doctor and a minister and their son Christopher. Even his Ring of Power is dull and useless. At his school, he manages to make friends with Sooz, a Goth Child of the Night, and gives the Ring to her when sh ...more
Jun 24, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I picked this up because another reader couldn't stop cracking up while she plowed through it one afternoon. "Dirk Lloyd" is a Dark Lord wizard. He just happens to awake from the climatic moment of a battle with the White Wizard to find that he has been thrown through some inter-planar portal, landed in the body of a pudgy 12-year-old human boy on the planet Earth, and forgotten his true name. Middle school hijinx and black rituals ensue.

Here's the passage that sold me:

"Ah, I see. Musicians. Hmp
I went into this with virtually no expectations so there wasn't much room for disappointment. But even so...

To start; Dark/Dirk was supposed to be this age-old, evil overlord which he most definitely was not. His narrative voice was that of a 10-year-old, attempting to be the evil genius/mad scientist. He was almost cute. And that fit the atmosphere of the book but not what the book kept saying he was supposed to be....

A blooming crush/love triangle among 3 KIDS??!!


Christopher: Eh. Jealous of D
May 29, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Dark Lord: The Early Years is about a Dark Lord who is cursed into the body of a 12 year old boy on Earth from his realm. He was weak when he was found so when they asked him his name, they mistook "Dark Lord" as "Dirk Lloyd". He is then put in foster care.

I loved this book. Dirk is unintentionally funny as he says stuff like, "I shall conquer this land with my minions!" "Who do you think you're talking too? I am the great Dark Lord!" *don't quote me on those -_-*

His reaction from seeing everyth
Nathaniel Gonzalez
Dark Lord: The Early Years is about a Dark Lord, (Dirk Lloyd) Who fights, battles, and cast spells in The Dark Lands, a place of death and war; He wakes up in an unfamiliar place called Earth and this time, he has no powers, spells, and is in the body of a little boy. He struggles to fit in with other people because he doesn't know the "Puny Humans" lifestyle and try's to get back to his original world. He gets the help of a couple new friends and they don't believe he is a dark lord and just go ...more
Lord Voldemort. Sauron. The White Queen of Narnia. They all had to start somewhere…

This book plays with the evil genius idea in so many delicious ways; it’s hard to know where to start. For one thing, the cover is fabulous: dead black with just a hint of color and that cruel parody of a smiley face to catch the eye. Then there’s the premise of a dread dark overlord being cast into the body of a puny human boy.

Dirk Lloyd is a fabulous creation, funny (when he doesn’t intend to be), ruthless, sch
Aug 31, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book started out really good, with a nice sense of humor! I thought I'm gonna like it more than I actually did in the end, because the beginning and the idea for this story was so promising.

The characters are all very adorable in their individual way, even the "dark lord" is someone I can't help but want to cuddle and pet on the head saying "there, there" a few times throughout the book.

What I didn't like so much was the enlenghtened description or imagery sometimes. The "dark lord" of cour
Mar 11, 2013 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Tricia by: Leila
I got this because a friend with a 12yo son recommended it - her son found it laugh-out-loud funny. I intended for my 12yo to read it, but the 9yo asked for it to be our bedtime reading.

I thought it was patchy, although it's hard to pin down why. Partially because the intended audience was not clear; also because it seemed to have too many loose threads - plot elements that would pop in and go nowhere. Parts (especially at the beginning) were really funny, but they were much more funny to me th
Jun 08, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
HILARIOUS!! This book makes me want to invent a new work like nerdlarious to describe just how geeky and hysterical this book is. Thomson just takes his concept and commits 180%, taking it to ridiculous places.

The premise is this: The Dark Lord has been building his power and wreaking vengeance in his land for millenium. Yet one day is is on the battlefield about to decimate the white wizard and the paladins of purity or something like that when the wizard pulls out a crystal that banished the D
Feb 12, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
For those that think that the teen years are scary, Dirk has a message for you. The Dark Lord has been stripped of his powers and sent to a world of normal people where he is just a normal eleven-year-old. //Dark Lord: The Early Years// follows the Dark Lord, now known as Dirk Lloyd, as he attempts to recover his power, finding out that the regular world is far tougher than one would think. This is a series that kids will love, regardless of age.

The "All Ages" classification is full of books tha
BAYA Librarian
May 07, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

The Dark Lord wakes up confused, where is he, why is the sky so blue, what are those repellent fresh smells (not flower he hopes), where is the smell of munitions explosions and the sounds of thousands of his battling orcs reaping destruction throughout his lands? The Dark Lord is disturbed to find that he has somehow ended up in “the pit of despair”, otherwise known as earth. To make matters worse he is stuck in the body of a thirteen year old boy. Now he has to deal with a bunch of meddling do
Jun 15, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really really liked this book. The humor was sly, satirical and constant, and tricky enough it kept me guessing through the early part of this book. Is Dirk Lloyd really a Dark Lord from a LOTR-like world? Or is he a delusional 12-year old trying to escape the wounds of contemporary life? I DID NOT KNOW for sure, and it kept me reading. Also laughing. Dirk is such a dork most of the time, I couldn't help realizing that certain boys I knew from high school probably had so many issues bc they we ...more
Lexi Traylor
I really enjoyed the story line and how the reader never knows exactly what's going on. You have predictions, you think they are right, and then you get a little farther and realize that it doesn't all add up to support your idea. It makes the story more intriguing. But the writing style was a little strange. It is third person limited for a good portion in the beginning, then without warning it switches to omniscient. You get other characters' view at random times. It never last very long, too, ...more
Griffin J.
Dec 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is about a dark lord that suddenly falls to earth from his home world/plain. It is in third person and Dirk, Sooz, Chris, and Sal are the main characters but there are also others like the terrible, tyrant, principal, Grousehammer. So, Dirk was The lord of the Darklands, a place where Orcs and witches and other mystical creatures lived fought in a midivil time where Hasdurban the Pure sent Dirk to Earth where he has to find a way back to his home world.
Fortunately this book is a part
Dec 12, 2012 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kids
I really liked the idea of this book, but it just wasn't as satisfying a read as I thought it would be. It's supposed to have been written by the narrator (the author as a ghost writer), but it switches back and forth between third person and first person journal entries, which just didn't make sense for the story and for this particular character--there is no way he would have written in third person.

It ends abruptly, just as something interesting actually happens, without doing much to resolve
Feb 05, 2015 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: people who like the combination of fantasy and humor
Shelves: childrens-books
Of course, as a puny human I am in no way able to understand the might and glory of the Dark Lord/Dirk Lloyd. But I do understand the value and joy of reading this book and that one is high even though it is intended for a younger audience. It is a great book for older children and I feel sad it hasn't yet been translated to Swedish so I can share that joy with my eight year old son whom I think would love this book. I had a blast reading it.
It is a great interpretation of how humiliated the Dar
Miss Clark
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Mark Sheldon
Mar 21, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I haven't cackled so uproariously at a book since...since first reading the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books, many moons ago. Love, love, LOVE this book! So deliciously twisted and absurd.

My only regret is that I didn't realize it was the first part of a series, so now I have to wait for the rest of the books to arrive from Amazon.

And no, this positively glowing review is not (entirely) inspired by the threat at the end of the book that negative reviewers will be "hauled off to [the] Dunge
Sean Randall
“I woke in the prison you humans call the ‘hospital’ to find that my powers of domination and destruction had been taken away from me, probably by some kind of warding, and that I had been given over to those psychotic fools, Wings and Randle. Then the commander of the Social Services Legion lashed me into her Chariot of Combustion and drove me here, where I was given over again, this time to my Guardians, the Pure Ones, who are tasked with my imprisonment.”

This is a clever idea, although we lac
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