Reasons that I knew this book was going to be awesomely bad from the very start:
1. According to the inside cover, it's copyrighted to a corporation ("17th Street Productions, an Alloy company"), not the "author."
2. The back copy reads: "When I was six months old, I dropped from the sky -- the lone survivor of a deadly Japanese plane crash. The newspapers named me Heaven. I was adopted by a wealthy family in Tokyo, pampered, and protected. For nineteen years, I thought I was lucky. I'm learning how wrong I was. THEY SAY YOUR LIFE BEGINS ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. Here's what happened on mine: I lost the person I love most. I learned that everything I knew about my family was a lie. Now I'm being hunted. I must fight back ... or die. My life ended that day. The old Heaven is gone. I AM SAMURAI GIRL."
3. There are free removable tattoos (which read: SAMURAI GIRL) in the back of the book.
Reasons that I knew this book was exceeding my wildest expectations while I was reading it:
1. Page 8: "And this is the Beverly Wilshire, I reminded myself. This is where a powerful businessman fell in love with a hooker. Anything's possible here. For a second I wondered if I could find a Julia-Roberts-style prostitute for Teddy to marry instead."
2. The book includes occasional "diary" entries from Heaven's enemies: "If only she weren't quite so beautiful. Even when she's bedraggled, she looks like some kind of royalty. It's not as if she's at peace -- her inner struggle is so visible, and it makes her face riveting. It's been so long since I felt threatened by another woman, but she's grown so close to Hiro after only a month." (157)
3. FREE TATTOOS IN THE BACK
What a great bad book.