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Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale

Rachel Lloyd

4.33 · Rating details · 3,830 ratings · 469 reviews

During her teens, Rachel Lloyd ended up a victim of commercial sexual exploitation. With time, through incredible resilience, and with the help of a local church community, she finally broke free of her pimp and her past and devoted herself to helping other young girls escape "the life."

In "Girls Like Us," Lloyd reveals the dark world of commercial sex trafficking in cinem ...more

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Paperback, 288 pages

Published February 28th 2012 by Harper Perennial (first published April 1st 2011)

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Oct 11, 2013 Crystal Starr Light rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Recommended to Crystal Starr Light by: Christine

Shelves: feminism, non-fiction

Bullet Review:

Do not read this book if you are faint of heart. This book will make you want to cry, to tear your hair out in rage, to raise a fist to the hundreds of politicians sitting in cozy offices, ignoring the plea of these commercially sexually exploited girls. Because when you are a 15 year-old African-American runaway from the bad end of town, you aren't a "prostitute". If that girl were a pretty white girl in a middle- or upper-class home in a white neighborhood, you can sure as bet yo ...more

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Jan 20, 2013 Christine rated it really liked it

Recommended to Christine by: N. kristoff

Shelves: feminist, minority-and-women-writers, prostitution, rape-and-honor-studies

Can someone please explain the Nobel Peace Prize Committee to me? Seriously. Look, I voted for Obama, and I still don’t understand why he won the Peace Prize. And the EU, honestly Canada, the US, and Mexico have avoided going to war for years and do we get a prize? Nope. Why don’t people like Rachel Lloyd win the blasted thing?
Lloyd’s book chronicles not only her experience as a se trafficking victim, but more importantly, the work she does with GEMS helping girls overcome their abuse and find ...more

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Jul 02, 2013 Kaari Anzel rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites, most-influential-to-me

I have to say, this is really the book that changed my life. Before I read it, I had only the vaguest suspicions that the boyfriend I'd had when I was 18, the one I thought loved me like no one else did, the one I gave all my stripper and "extras" money to, was really a pimp. I thought I'd just been weak and stupid, but this book explained the psychology of "the life" in a clear way that gave me a better understanding of myself- such a gift! What's more, it gave me increased empathy for the girl ...more

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Jun 12, 2011 Danna rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites, feminism, recommended, about-the-world

This is a book that everyone should read. Rachel Lloyd tells her story of sexual exploitation as a young girl, how she finally escaped the grips of her pimp, and made the decision to start working with other young girls and women. Lloyd grew up in England in a rough and tumultuous home. As a teen, she ran away to Germany, where penniless and frightened, she started working as a stripper. Her stories are heartbreaking and real. She is graphic in her depictions of physical abuse; the story is freq This is a book that everyone should read. Rachel Lloyd tells her story of sexual exploitation as a young girl, how she finally escaped the grips of her pimp, and made the decision to start working with other young girls and women. Lloyd grew up in England in a rough and tumultuous home. As a teen, she ran away to Germany, where penniless and frightened, she started working as a stripper. Her stories are heartbreaking and real. She is graphic in her depictions of physical abuse; the story is frequently painful to read.

The woman she has become is marvelous and beautiful. At age 23, Lloyd came to NYC to start working for a nonprofit organization. Through her work with other girls, she was able to heal her wounds, and become a serious activist. The main point of "Girls Like Us" is to drive home that there are no teen prostitutes. Lloyd explains that there are sexually exploited and trafficked girls - these girls are victims, with no choices, who are forced into "the life." She is emphasizing and re-emphasizing that commercial sexual trafficking occurs everyday, here in the US, with American girls.

Lloyd founds GEMS, a nonprofit organization, where she pushes to change legislation that penalizes adolescent girls for being bought by older men. Lloyd wants these girls to stay out of jail, and get into treatment. GEMS provides a safe harbor in NYC where the trafficked girls can go for love, support, and leadership skills.

The door at GEMS is constantly revolving: almost all of the girls go back to their pimps over and over again. Escaping "the life" is an uphill battle for these teenagers. The "love" of their pimps is often the only care they've ever received, and their lives on the "track" is the only normal one. Lloyd has seemingly infinite patience and zero judgment. Each time a girl returns, she welcomes them with the same love and support. Eventually, many of the girls leave "the life," and with the help of GEMS, go on to finish high school, get jobs, and create something with their lives. The beauty and camaraderie that forms between the girls is healing, and for the reader - breathtaking.

Throughout the book, I felt like I was repeatedly getting punched in the gut. I would fill up with tears after reading a single sentence. For example: "Incest is bootcamp for prostitution." Or when Rachel is sitting with her first real girlfriend, who has forgotten to get her husband a cup of tea, and Rachel naively asks, "Why didn't he hit you?" For me, that sentence succinctly sums up how perfectly normal physical abuse was for Lloyd.

"Girls Like Us" spans a period of over 15 years. The reader gets to experience everything from Lloyd's childhood, her terrifying adolescence, emerging adulthood, and evolution into an educated and successful young woman. Alongside Lloyd's development is the growth of GEMS, and many of the GEMS girls.

As I said in the beginning, I feel this is a book that everyone should read. It reframes issues of social justice and child exploitation. Lloyd makes clear that the US has a long way to go in terms of how it treats its young girls and women. So many of the books we read today are stories of survivors from around the world: I've read dozens of stories by women from Cambodia or Nigeria or some other faraway place who have escaped lives of sexual exploitation and abuse. It is so easy for a woman like me to forget or ignore what is happening right in our own communities. "Girls Like Us" is a painful and poignant reminder that change needs to happen here in the US - now. ...more

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Oct 30, 2011 CD rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I was a little nervous about adding this book to the collection as it is a book about the sex trafficking trade. However, it was a starred review and recommended for teens. So, when it arrived, I put it on my list of books to read.

I was pleasantly surprised. It was fabulous. Ms. Lloyd is to be commended, not only for writing a wonderful book on a topic that many Americans don't think about (the American sex slave, child prostitute), but for opening up her own life for as a lens to use for looki ...more

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Mar 16, 2012 Brooke rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: abuse

I had the privilege of meeting Rachel Lloyd at a talk tonight at Circle of Hope where I bought her book, which she inscribed, "To the girls at Penn Treaty, with encouragement, love, & respect." ...more

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Mar 19, 2016 Paul rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

It's hard to read a book like this without your eyes welling up continuously. The author, Rachel Lloyd, is a saint.

The book alternates chapters of her life "in the life," which means exploited girls in the commercial sex trade, with her struggle and eventual success at establishing an organization called GEMS, which rescues trafficked girls in the United States and rebuilds their lives, which often takes months or years. The girls are trafficked as young as 11, often from abusive homes, and deve ...more

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Feb 04, 2018 Travis rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This was a very interesting, thought-provoking book; my biggest gripe was I wish there was a lot more story, and less commentary.

"I don't care what you call it, sexual exploitation and all that. To everyone else, we still hoes," someone tells the author at one point. The 2 main underlying points of the book, as I understood it, are (1) girls in the sex industry are by definition "victims" who are being exploited for profit, and should be thought of as such; and (2) mainstream society and cultur This was a very interesting, thought-provoking book; my biggest gripe was I wish there was a lot more story, and less commentary.

"I don't care what you call it, sexual exploitation and all that. To everyone else, we still hoes," someone tells the author at one point. The 2 main underlying points of the book, as I understood it, are (1) girls in the sex industry are by definition "victims" who are being exploited for profit, and should be thought of as such; and (2) mainstream society and culture deserves criticism for its lack of sympathy / glamorization / cavalier attitude toward "the life" (i.e. the sex industry).

The book is structured somewhat cleverly, as she flip flops back and forth between anecdotes from her life, proceeding in chronological order; snippets of stories of other exploited girls she's worked with; and her general commentary about "the life," organized thematically.

Her personal story is fascinating, riveting, and at times horrifying, but there are huge gaps that left me constantly wanting more information. She tells us the story of how she wound up first going to work at a strip club, and she goes into great detail in telling the stories of abuse by her ex-boyfriends, but I have so many questions. Who were these boyfriends? Where did she meet them? How did they become so abusive? How did she leave them, and get them to leave her alone? There is also almost no detail about her actual experiences in the sex industry. She implies she was more than just a dancer, but there isn't much detail. I understand reasons why she might not want to divulge more, but I am curious to know more about what she did, how she felt about it, how things changed over time, etc., etc.

The stories of girls she's worked with through her nonprofit are also fascinating. Telling them each as short snippets usually works very well, but sometimes I wish there was more detail about who these girls are. Perhaps she could have chosen a couple girls with particularly interesting stories to follow throughout the book to give us a little more depth.

Meanwhile, at least half the book was devoted to her personal commentary. Some of her commentary is really great. She has a very powerful passage about the cycle of abuse in these families, in which girls who are abused as children turn to abusive men and then refuse to believe when their daughters are abused. She provides a very insightful explanation of why these girls fall under the spell of pimps, why they are so easily manipulated, and why it's so hard for them to leave.

That being said, most of her commentary I found kind of boring and at times overly preachy. I think the book would have gained a lot by replacing some of the unnecessary commentary with more details from her story. To give one example, she at one point devotes a lengthy passage to her argument that girls "in the life" do not make a "choice" to enter it. She starts with the dictionary definition of the word "choice," then hammers the argument home; one her points is that pre-teen and teenage girls do not make good decisions (with no acknowledgement of this inherent contradiction). This is one of the fundamental points of the book, but I think the stories do a better job making her point than she does. If I was her editor, I would suggest striking that whole section, and instead, after telling a couple anecdotes of girls (including herself) entering the life in a moment of desperation, just including one line that says "People assume girls who enter the sex industry choose to do so... but do they?" Then let the reader decide.

She also treats some topics with lots of insights and nuance, and other topics with none. For example, at one point she says "all johns are the same," and those who are nice to the girls and pretend to care about them don't. She then describes johns who are serial killers and commit unspeakable crimes. I am very far removed from "the life," but the notion that all johns are "the same" just can't be true. And if the girls really think that, it would have been interesting to get a better, more thoughtful understanding of why.

I also don't know the extent to which the characters of this book reflect the sex industry writ large. The impression I got from reading this book is that 99.9% of prostitutes start before reaching the age of 16, and guys who buy sex on Craigslist are almost all purchasing sex with pre-teen or teenage girls. I have no idea if this is true or not, and she doesn't provide much in terms of data. If it is true, it's obviously horrifying.

Overall, this was an interesting book that gave me a lot to think about. Her message is a compelling one, but it left me wanting a lot more detail about both her story and about "the life" she describes.
...more

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Jun 26, 2020 Colleen rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: wheel-a-thon-v-2020

There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children. - Nelson Mandela

Omniscient - having complete or unlimited knowledge, awareness, or understanding

All of the omnis - all powerful, all-knowing and always there
(Omnipresent & Omnipotent)

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Jul 30, 2019 delaney rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfic

If you scroll through the books I read, I might read a variety of things (YA, adult, manga, middle grade, manhwa) but rarely do I touch nonfiction. I'm not much of a nonfiction reader, it's not something I particularly like to read. So when I was given this book, I was hesitant to read it. When I decided to buckle down and give it a go, I was punctured through the soul from page one.

The data that Rachel Lloyd provides may have changed, but it does not neglect the information that is discussed a If you scroll through the books I read, I might read a variety of things (YA, adult, manga, middle grade, manhwa) but rarely do I touch nonfiction. I'm not much of a nonfiction reader, it's not something I particularly like to read. So when I was given this book, I was hesitant to read it. When I decided to buckle down and give it a go, I was punctured through the soul from page one.

The data that Rachel Lloyd provides may have changed, but it does not neglect the information that is discussed and the real-life experiences that Lloyd and the girls she works with go through. The book is never preachy, as you might think of a book advocating in the fight against sex trafficking. It simply allows you to think in a different way and that's what I found most compelling about the book.

Throughout the book, she inserts her own experience in "the life" and teaches some terminology for us "squares." She also inserts experiences and accounts of multiple girls that she works with at her organization Girls Educational and Mentoring Services (GEMS).

I love that her organizations is called GEMS even before it got down to the last chapters where she explains the backstory of the organization. Because throughout the book, and I definitely see this still to this day, that these girls are seen as "trash" and already "unfixable." I think it was very thought-provoking to read about what they go through, and how society treats them (I was shocked that these girls would be convicted rather than viewed as victims while the pimp goes scot-free).

Of course, there were times it somewhat bordered on promoting GEMS or becoming a memoir, but it never took over the overall message of general awareness, teaching, and advocacy against sex trafficking. And it never took over the stories of these powerful girls and girls still out there currently who are stuck in this life.

This is a heavy read and you will put it down multiple times after reading a simple sentence that will strike you right in the heart and while you put it down you will want to think. But that's what Rachel Lloyd might have intended--this shouldn't be something you just fly through. ...more

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Mar 24, 2019 Michelle rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, 2019, audiobook

Absolutely devastating and important memoir written by a woman who was exploited in the commercial sex trade as a girl and who now runs an organization to help others get out of "the life." Or to simply support them when they're not "ready." I have a lot of feelings about this book, and they're mostly difficult to articulate and it's one of those instances where everything was both utterly surprising/horrifying yet somehow not surprising at all. It's absolutely sickening how many (including law ...more

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May 22, 2014 Elizabeth Wig rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

This book is sometimes surprising, sad, and painful to read. It is important to fight against the human trafficking that traps these girls in lives spent in commercial sexual exploitation. Lloyd emphasizes, rightfully, that it is not the victim's fault they are being exploited and discusses the troubles and victories she - and others - have faced in adapting back to normal lives. It discusses many nuances of the problem, making for an informative and eye-opening read.

"At thirteen, Rachel Lloyd ...more

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Apr 20, 2015 Jax Garren rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I want to pass this book around to everybody I know and tell them, "READ THIS. It's important." I got Girls Like Us after hearing Rachel Lloyd speak. She is as eloquent, passionate, and moving in person as she is in the pages here. Her critiques on feminism, race, poverty, and the way we categorize and dismiss people is as alarming as it is true. And yet, as sad as her story and the stories of the girls she works with can be at times, the message of hope and resilience shines through beautifully ...more

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Apr 29, 2013 Mary Beth rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This should be a basic primer for anyone wanting to learn more about sex trafficking. The author weaves her own story of being caught up in the sex trade within the stories of others and the stories of the work she does now to help others out of trafficking. It's heartbreaking, eye-opening, terrible, but also inspiring and amazing. You will close the book with hope, but you should also close the book determined to make a difference. ...more

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Jan 15, 2017 Susie Schnall rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A moving, honest, raw portrait, discussion and explanation of commercial sexual exploitation of children and all its causes, casualties and implications. I learned so much from this book and am grateful to Rachel Lloyd for telling her story and the stories of the GEMS girls. This has forever impacted me and my view of this horrific American institution of which I knew nothing (except for the stereotypes and misinformation propagated in America to absolve our country of responsibility).

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Feb 10, 2018 Marla O'Fallon rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

"Sing me a pretty love song as I start to cry
Tell me you love me as you wipe the blood from my eye
Tell me why the only one who can wipe away my tears
Is the only one who's the source of all my fears"

“..you may not be able to choose your family or origin but you can choose your family of creation.” ...more

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Jul 03, 2018 Narrative Muse added it · review of another edition

– Fighting for a world where girls are not for sale –

Statistics and news reports show it’s a dangerous world. Each year brings more and more stories of how girls everywhere are bought, sold, and traded with little thought to their personhood. But even though I understand that sad reality on a cognitive level, Girls Like Us, a gripping memoir by Rachel Lloyd, made me truly, deeply understand it for the first time in the pit of my stomach. With tears in my eyes.

Never before has a book made me feel ...more

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Dec 17, 2019 Literary Strawberry rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: adult, non-fiction

Absolutely phenomenal. Rachel Lloyd does such a good job of looking at all the different aspects of this issue, including /great/ discussion of the psychological aspect, woven together with her personal stories, and it's all so well-written and engaging and so, so important. She doesn't shy away from showing the full reality of what's happening, but while she certainly describes a lot of physical abuse, I felt that she didn't go into any unnecessarily graphic detail about the sexual parts, which ...more

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Dec 27, 2019 Teresa rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: human-interest, documentary, non-fiction

“If an under age (sex trafficking) victim from Thailand, Ukraine, or anywhere else in the world is found at 2 am in a brothel in Queens, she was eligible for the services provided and funded by the Trafficking Victims Protection Act Of 2000. She could be taken to a safe house, given counseling for her trauma, and treated, as she should be, as a victim. If the girl who was found at two in the morning is an American girl, especially a girl of color, she was arrested, charged with an act of prostit ...more

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May 03, 2019 Jess rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Very interesting book to read about sex trafficking and human exploitation. Rachel Lloyd does a fantastic job, and it is inspiring to watch how she has progressed and motivated herself to get out of the life. She created a safe place and enforced advocacy among girls who are or have been in the life. I would recommend to read this book, as it makes individuals aware that sex trafficking is happening in the world, and we should not be blind to it. Educating ourselves about human trafficking is ex ...more

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Oct 16, 2018 Kelly rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I donate to GEMS every year, and finally got around to reading the book by the founder. GEMS is so important, helping young girls who are commercially sexually trafficked. This is an issue that Americans are unaware of in regards of its severity, or, often, find the girls who are trafficked not as victims, but as "bad" girls. This book has gut wrenching stories, but it also so important in understanding these children in the "life." ...more

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Jun 21, 2019 Emily rated it really liked it · review of another edition

A heartfelt and eye opening account of sexually exploited children. I learned so much about the subject, but also about human (especially female) resiliency and the power of community. Truly inspired by this author.

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Feb 17, 2020 Libby rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This book is FANTASTIC. AMAZING. I'd give it 6 stars if I could. As someone who works with trafficked and sexually exploited adults I often have trouble articulating to people how my clients are treated systematically, and how they came to be in the life. This book does a brilliant job of explaining the realities and guiding the reader with empathy. Really great book. ...more

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May 19, 2020 Hope Nauman rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A great read! Eye opening into the world of Human Trafficking and what it REALLY looks like

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Dec 26, 2018 Heather rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This book is a difficult read. I had to lay it aside a number of times. It is an important book though and I will recommend it to as many people as I can.

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Apr 01, 2011 The Sunday Book Review rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This book gave me such a reaction, it took me forever to finish it. This is an emotional, raw, realistic in your face read. I have learned more about commercially exploited girls than I wanted to, however should know. This isn't just a third world country situation. This is a HUGE activity here in the US and it can happen to any girl.

The following are just a few things that made me scream:

Those of us that watch Law & Order:SVU have grown to love Ice-T. At least I like his character. We know him This book gave me such a reaction, it took me forever to finish it. This is an emotional, raw, realistic in your face read. I have learned more about commercially exploited girls than I wanted to, however should know. This isn't just a third world country situation. This is a HUGE activity here in the US and it can happen to any girl.

The following are just a few things that made me scream:

Those of us that watch Law & Order:SVU have grown to love Ice-T. At least I like his character. We know him from his rap and player days and he seems to have really turned his life around and now stars in a great show with an important topic. However, in this book the author points out how each year he still attends the Player's Ball. An award show that gives merits to the highest players and pimps of that year. Which in and of itself is bothersome. But to see him on a show playing a cop that trying to put away pimps and help assaulted girls, it throws you for a loop.

I understand the author is African American, and I understand that sadly many of the expolited children are African American. I also understand that the media tends to pay attention to white mising children more often due to "appeal". However, there were certain sections of the book where I felt as if white oppressed girls were brushed off to the side. The book is supposed to deal with girls, not only Latino and African American girls. While there is a distinction in numbers, I dind't want the book to be that one sided.

Taking those gripes aside - and they really are minor- , I really enjoyed this book. Rachel goes from giving us statistics of the sex trade industry, to stories about girls she has helped to stories about her own incidents in "the life". The story was wonderfully written and brought some staggering facts to the forefront. I kind of hate to say it, but I think every parent should read this book. While most girls that are "lured" or "taken" in to that life are vulnurable in that time of their lives, each young girl goes through that period at some point, and that is all the pimps are looking for. Be ready when you pick this book up. It doesn't sugar coat a thing. It says it like it should be said.
...more

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Mar 22, 2011 melanie (lit*chick) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs, non-fiction

Giving away a copy here:
http://litchick.typepad.com/mellymel/...

It takes a great deal of effort for me to step out of my reading comfort zone and pick up something that I know to be challenging either in content or perspective. Girls LIke Us accomplished both of those goals. This book is many things - memoir, essay, social commentary - all bound in a remarkable, sometimes heartbreaking, yet redemptive package.

Author Rachel Lloyd takes real stories, those we hide from, yet know to be true, and s ...more

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Mar 17, 2012 Patty rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This was a powerful book. It weaves together Ms. Lloyd's own story of growing up in an abusive household and her entry into prostitution and her subsequent rise out of "the life" to create GEMS - Girls Educational and Mentoring Services - with the stories of the girls she met along the way. And I do mean girls. Some of these trafficked girls were as young as eleven. It is very hard to read stories of girls that young being abused at the hands of both their pimps and the justice system.

I found I ...more

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Jan 18, 2012 Claire rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

I'd never given human trafficking much thought. The victims I pictured were European immigrants or middle-class runaways forced into prostitution. Most of my knowledge came from TV shows or movies like Taken.

Then I read Girls Like Us. Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls are Not for Sale, an Activist Finds Her Calling and Heals Herself The author, Rachel Lloyd, Rachel Lloyd founded the non-profit GEMS (Girls Educational & Mentoring Services) to help girls who have been victimized by c ...more

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Nov 23, 2015 Diane Yannick rated it really liked it · review of another edition

"Sing me a pretty love song as I begin to cry.
Tell me you love me as you wipe the blood from my eye.
Tell me why the only one who can wipe away my tears
Is the only one who's the source of all my fears."

Young girls who aren't loved or protected by their parents can often be successfully groomed by pimps. These girls yearn to be taken care of and loved. They are often prosecuted as prostitutes but according to the author they are "commercial sexually exploited teens". Rachel Lloyd knows of what she ...more

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About Rachel Lloyd

Rachel Lloyd

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In 1998, at just 23 years old, Rachel Lloyd founded Girls Educational and Mentoring Services (GEMS) at her kitchen table with $30 and a borrowed computer. She was driven by the lack of services for commercially sexually exploited and domestically trafficked girls and young women and the incredible stigma and punishment they faced from service providers, law enforcement, the courts, their families, ...more

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“Children who are victimized through sexual abuse often begin to develop deeply held tenets that shape their sense of self: 'My worth is my sexuality. I'm dirty and shameful. I have no right to my own physical boundaries.' That shapes their ideas about the world around them: 'No one will believe me. Telling the truth results in bad consequences. People can't be trusted.' It doesn't take long for children to being to act in accordance with these belief systems.
For girls who have experienced incest, sexual abuse, or rape, the boundaries between love, sex, and pain become blurred. Secrets are normal, and shame is a constant.” — 32 likes

“I am both numb and oversensitive, overwhelmed by the need, the raw and desperate need of the girls I am listening to and trying to help. I'm overdosing on the trauma of others, while still barely healing from my own.
I cry for hour at home and have fitful nights of little sleep. My nightmares resurface as my own pain is repeated to me, magnified a thousand times. It feels insurmountable. How can you save everyone? How can you rescue them? How do you get over your pain? How do you ever feel normal?” — 28 likes

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