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392 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
“It was either the beginning of loneliness or the successful adaptation to prison life when one begins to talk to insects and little living creatures. A tiny lizard had just settled on my shirt and I struck up a conversation with it. It seemed to listen attentively although from the looks of its eyes, I think it was terrified. The familiar fat lizard which lived above the fluorescent-tube started to chuckle loudly. He was probably bored. Or perhaps he was attempting to attract flying insects. I had scolded him last night for being so noisy but I guess he didn't understand and was noisy again today.” (Chapter 12)
“But clearly, I was not at all calm for I had failed to pass my diaries and handbag containing personal properties to my staff for safe-keeping. Diaries and address books can be most detrimental to a detainee. A detainee who is confused, could sign many false statements under pressure when confronted with his diaries and address books.” (Chapter 18)
“Often [the ISD] had asked me if I would issue another press statement. I did not understand how the issue of a press statement could be a security concern. I maintained that a press statement was a political issue and had nothing to do with national security.”
“[Lester] quoted the Reid's Constitutional Report where it was clearly stated that arrests and detention under the Internal Security Act did not deprive detainees of their right to seek judicial review from the courts. Lester argued that the amendments violated the basic structure of the Constitution. The Constitution, he said, is the supreme law of the land and any amendments which sought to usurp the power of the courts and thus do away with the doctrine of separation of powers under the Constitution was invalid.”
“[Lester argued that the amendments] purport retrospectively to deprive Teo Soh Lung of the benefit of the Court of Appeal's decision, and of the right of appeal to the Privy Council, in respect of her pending as well as any future claims. None of the amendments is designed to stop or prevent subversive action. Each of them is designed to authorize arbitrary acts and decisions outside the rule of law.”
“[Tjong said] that I had changed and that was why they were recommending my release. He said that they were not recommending Vincent's release because he had not changed.
By January, I had more or less understood the ISD's meaning of “change.” “Change” meant an acceptance of the fact that one is powerless and unable to effect any change in society. More than a year of detention had already made me realise that I was indeed powerless and that it was better for me to lead my own selfish life than to try and effect any change. A year ago, I had harboured the thought that should I be released, I would try and gather support to form a human rights group to campaign for the release of Chia Thye Poh from Sentosa Island. By Jan 1990, I had realised that it was not possible for me to do that and for that matter to do anything at all...I had damaged [PM Lee's] good name by my four rounds of legal proceedings. He couldn't possibly forgive and forget what I had done to him.”
There was a car outside the gate with headlights on and many people were milling around. The thought that they were robbers disappeared. They could not be robbers. Who were they and what do they want? ...
They flashed their cards and said they were from the immigration department looking for illegal immigrants. I felt relieved as I was sure there were no illegal immigrants in the house ...
They threatened to break down the glass door if I did not let them in. I was horrified at the thought that the glass door would be broken. The house belonged to my friend and I was just a caretaker ... Not wanting to disturb my neighbours and not afraid of a charge for harbouring illegal immigrants, I opened the door. Inspector W and his team quickly moved in. When they were all in the house, I was coolly told: “You are under arrest under the ISA [Internal Security Act].”1
“Well, can you remember who was doing most of the talking at the meeting? Don’t you think Paul was vocal and that it was he who was doing most of the talking and he could have made the suggestion?”
It seemed logical to me. Paul was a talkative and knowledgeable person ... I thought there was nothing wrong with admitting that Paul was the one who did most of the talking. And so I agreed.
“Well, Paul suggested that you all help the Workers’ Party.” “Ok,” I said. “He suggested that. What’s wrong with that? If we did help the Workers’ Party at the end of it, so what?”
“Paul gave the impetus to all of you to help the Workers’ Party. Prior to that meeting, all of you were just talking. No one took any action. Then Paul came. He made the suggestion that you help the Workers’ Party. All of you then made a positive move and helped the Workers’ Party.” …
I cannot understand why I agreed to that suggestion. How could Paul have been so influential? We have minds of our own.
My state of mind at the time was, I would say, disorientated. I never anticipated that it was crucial to the charge levelled against me subsequently that I should agree to the suggestion that it was Paul who gave the impetus.2