But How'd I Get in There in the First Place? Talking to Your Young Child About Sex

by Deborah M. Roffman

Young children ask questions about sex, sexuality, conception, and birth that can be embarrassing or uncomfortable for parents. With her characteristic good sense and cool head, author Deborah Roffman will put even the most awkward parents at ease, giving them the skills to talk confidently with young children about these important but delicate issues. In this wonderfully reassuring book, readers will learn that the key to talking with children about sex is knowing that their questions fall into three easily recognizable categories. At age three or four, kids are curious about geography ("Where was I before I was here?"), and at four or five, about delivery ("Exactly how did I get out of there?"). Finally, the six year old's classic stumper--"But how'd I get in there in the first place?"--is about cause and effect, not about imminent sexual activity! With the emotional and developmental underpinnings of a child's curiosity understood, parents will find their tongues; with Deborah Roffman's wise, warm and practical advice, they will be well prepared for the inevitable flow of questions in the years to come.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2002

Reviews

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I liked this book, and I agreed with pretty much everything the author said. I just found it a bit boring and unhelpful as the book didn't really give me any new ideas about what to say to the kids when they ask the Big Question. But I can't really fault the author for that.

I did find the section on sexuality education in the primary classroom very interesting -- the model described about how first graders might study the human body overall and the little bit of reproductive system that might come up as part of that was really inspirational -- this is how first graders should be taught! Very inquiry-based and child-led, which leads to age-appropriateness automatically. Would be hard to get 100% of the parents to agree, though, that if a kid asks how the baby gets into the mommy in the first place, it's OK for the teacher to answer in front of the whole class.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

for those hard to answer questions. this authors philosophy is really right on with mine.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent for talking to young children about sex, and about how to form your own healthy perspectives and feel comfortable with the topic for yourself!