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Mama Gena's Marriage Manual: Stop Being a Good Wife, Start Being a Sister Goddess
Outlines a fun-based guide to marriage that contends that women have a greater influence on a relationship's outcome, sharing advice on such topics as bringing passion back into the bedroom and getting a man to fulfill a wife's desires.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published June 7, 2004
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
April 4, 2014
While I'll admit that I'm torn over her basic principle that simply "living your pleasure" and surrounding yourself with things to remind you of what you really want out of life will magically make your marriage and everything else better, I do like to think it's possible. I've heard the basic idea from other self-help gurus and it always sounds like hoo-doo bullshit, but I keep reading these books BECAUSE I WANT TO BELIEVE. There's always this tiny bit of hope deep inside of me that if I just follow some new guru's directions on unlocking my desires and potential that something will click and my life will finally feel like magic and joy and I'll more easily be able to snap out of it when crappy things happen.
She does have some good advice on taking the time to find out what you want and making sure you give yourself permission to want it and tell others (your husband, especially) about what you need to be satisfied in life. And, I think she has some good ideas on relating to your husband, such as looking for what's working so you don't just end up complaining about him all the time when you can see he's trying to do the right thing.
But, and this is a big BUT for me, Mama doesn't seem to really know how she feels about extra-marital affairs. At one point she describes a woman who came to her after her husband had an affair. Mama seems to believe that this woman's treatment of her husband did contribute to him screwing around, BUT she also says he bears full responsibility for his actions. Then, later in the book, she describes a woman who came to her after cheating on her husband, and you know what? Mama says "step one with Veronica was to have her see that she was not wrong for having this one-night stand." Because, you know, "everything a woman wants is right."
Really? EVERYTHING? That's bullshit and we all know it. Just like her assertion that "no one's morals are superior to anyone else's." If that were true we wouldn't scorn serial cheaters and imprison murderers, thieves and rapists. She calls Veronica's affair "part of the learning process on the pathway to a great marriage," but I somehow doubt Veronica's husband (who had done nothing horrible to his wife, by the way) would be that enlightened about it. She also tries to compare cheating spouses to couples who have agreed to have open marriages WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL. Affairs happen in secret, whereas open marriages are, that's right, OPEN.
Mama also says that "the most fun and sacred marriages are ones in which each partner is able to reveal their total truth and be accepted for who they are and what they want." That sounds great, right? The problem with this, in relation to Veronica cheating, is that Mama goes on to say that she never told her poor, cheated-on-for-REALLY-no-good-reason husband, that she had a one-night stand. Sounds like Veronica didn't think she'd be accepted for who she was after revealing her total truth to him.
I know I talked a lot about the cheating stuff, but that's only because it made me angry. It's a tiny, tiny part of the book. I think if you ignore some of the selfish language in the book and pay attention to the communicating what you want portions, most readers will get something good out of it.
She does have some good advice on taking the time to find out what you want and making sure you give yourself permission to want it and tell others (your husband, especially) about what you need to be satisfied in life. And, I think she has some good ideas on relating to your husband, such as looking for what's working so you don't just end up complaining about him all the time when you can see he's trying to do the right thing.
But, and this is a big BUT for me, Mama doesn't seem to really know how she feels about extra-marital affairs. At one point she describes a woman who came to her after her husband had an affair. Mama seems to believe that this woman's treatment of her husband did contribute to him screwing around, BUT she also says he bears full responsibility for his actions. Then, later in the book, she describes a woman who came to her after cheating on her husband, and you know what? Mama says "step one with Veronica was to have her see that she was not wrong for having this one-night stand." Because, you know, "everything a woman wants is right."
Really? EVERYTHING? That's bullshit and we all know it. Just like her assertion that "no one's morals are superior to anyone else's." If that were true we wouldn't scorn serial cheaters and imprison murderers, thieves and rapists. She calls Veronica's affair "part of the learning process on the pathway to a great marriage," but I somehow doubt Veronica's husband (who had done nothing horrible to his wife, by the way) would be that enlightened about it. She also tries to compare cheating spouses to couples who have agreed to have open marriages WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL. Affairs happen in secret, whereas open marriages are, that's right, OPEN.
Mama also says that "the most fun and sacred marriages are ones in which each partner is able to reveal their total truth and be accepted for who they are and what they want." That sounds great, right? The problem with this, in relation to Veronica cheating, is that Mama goes on to say that she never told her poor, cheated-on-for-REALLY-no-good-reason husband, that she had a one-night stand. Sounds like Veronica didn't think she'd be accepted for who she was after revealing her total truth to him.
I know I talked a lot about the cheating stuff, but that's only because it made me angry. It's a tiny, tiny part of the book. I think if you ignore some of the selfish language in the book and pay attention to the communicating what you want portions, most readers will get something good out of it.
August 8, 2011
DNF. This book was just weird. The author is a lady who uses terms like "yo" and calls her readers and clients "sister goddesses." Not really who I want relationship advice from, but that's just me.
December 25, 2014
In full disclosure, I have seen Regina Thomashauer speak in person, and she is really dynamic live, so that probably inclined me even further toward the 5 star rate. (As did the fact that she made her entrance to the speaking engagement on a live horse... on the second floor of the Miami Convention Center - she certainly knows how to stretch your mind in terms of what is and isn't possible, that is for sure!) I think I had to see her in person to more fully "get" the gist of her viewpoint. She is amazing if you ever have the chance to attend any of her events in person.
I will agree that my marriage is happiest and I seem to get along with my hubby best when I am just happy as opposed to trying to be a "good" wife (dutifully toiling away on this or that thankless task.) I think Mama Gena's book is good for freeing us up from those expectations we put on ourselves to be this "perfect wife" whatever that may mean, which often makes us just feel overwhelmed and cranky. By focusing on doing things that make us happy and removing the pressure, our spouses get to enjoy a happier, bouncier side of us, which I think is refreshing for both parties.
I will agree that my marriage is happiest and I seem to get along with my hubby best when I am just happy as opposed to trying to be a "good" wife (dutifully toiling away on this or that thankless task.) I think Mama Gena's book is good for freeing us up from those expectations we put on ourselves to be this "perfect wife" whatever that may mean, which often makes us just feel overwhelmed and cranky. By focusing on doing things that make us happy and removing the pressure, our spouses get to enjoy a happier, bouncier side of us, which I think is refreshing for both parties.
February 12, 2009
An amazing book- every women is a goddess/princess and needs to treat herself like one....
May 29, 2009
this one totally rocks! very helpful concrete recommendations and exercises
May 27, 2010
What a great book!! never had so much fun in my life taking turns reading and practicing with my hubby - he is a new man now...
March 15, 2016
so mixed on this! had a few good parts/advice. But the whacky far-out-ness of her style turned me off a lot too.
May 28, 2022
So far, I love this book! I have only started reading this book 24 hours ago and I have already read 88 pages. For a mom of two, and as reading not as my first priority that is a lot of reading! I have cried reading this. There are very powerful messages in this book. A great insight to sisterhood, motherhood, and marriage! I look forward to finishing the book and reading more of Regina’s books!
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews