In this seminal audiobook on helping, corporate culture and organizational development guru Ed Schein analyzes the dynamics of helping relationships, explains why help is often not helpful, and shows what any would-be-helper must do to insure that help is actually provided. Applicable to your personal relationships as well as business affairs, Helping with allow you to...more
I'm a therapist and an educator. Reading this book was brutal in the sense that it made me painfully aware of my weaknesses as a helping professional. It was wonderful for the same reason. It provides a trains-theoretical framework of understanding the dynamics of the helping relationship at the process level.
I will be a more effective helper after reading the book and practicing the simple techniques it recommends. I didn't give it 5 stars however, due to the ...more
The book begins with an outline of the helping relationship and the one-up or one-down dynamic. He then talks about the three helping roles: expert, doctor, and process help. An expert has special knowledge or skill that the ...more
The advice dispensed throughout the books aren't always in the form of ...more
I read this book thanks to Blinkist.
The key message in these blinks:
Social dynamics complicate the way we help each other. When we receive help, we suffer a loss of status and self-esteem, while providing help gives us the upper hand in a way that can be counterproductive. To successfully assist others, we should be sensitive to these dynamics. As help-givers, it’s best to inquire with humility about the problems we’re attempting to solve.
Keep checking ...more
“Check out your own emotions and intentions before offering, giving, or receiving help.”
“Remember that the person requesting your help may feel uncomfortable, so make sure to ask what the client really wants and how you can best help.”
“The point is that no matter what you do or ...more
1- expert mode: consultants who help gather information and provide services
2- doctor/professional: an extension to the first type but including diagnosis, prescription, and solution implementation
3- inquiry: asking questions to find what kind of help is needed.
He argues that starting from the ...more
Do you fully understand the situation?
Have you accessed your ignorance?
Is your relationship with the client strong enough for you to give advice?
Does the consultant understand the situation and process abstractly and socially?
Will the consultant accept confrontation?
If you answered no to any of these questions, go back to the first question.
Bringing in a consultant affects the social situation, and can turn into a confrontation between the consultant and the party being ...more
-Help takes on the form of process consultant (pure inquiry), doctor (diagnose and prescribe) and expert (provide specific knowledge or service).
-Always unravel your ignorance by inquiring about the ...more
I picked this book up because even though I have helped many people my methods of doing so did not always get the results I was looking for. This book helped me identify ideas on how to improve my methods in my efforts to help people get better at what they do in my organization. I will be applying the principles laid out in this book from this point forward because they take into account the paradoxes involved in how people Tick and react to helping and being helped!
For me the extremely generic treatment of 'helping' -- basically every interaction -- was very 'helpful'. But the book itself was somewhat annoying. I'd only read the final chapter and skim the rest, if at all.
highly recommended for anyone who thinks they need to help others to be a complete human being.
i link it with Norman MacLean's wondrous book "A River Runs Through" which has profound Scottish meditations on how the helper and helpee rarely can meet at the right point of time and place to actually be mutually beneficial.
Schein investigates organizational culture, process consultation, research process, career dynamics, and organization learning and change. In Career Anchors, third edition (Wiley, 2006), he shows how individuals can diagnose their own career needs and how ...more