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Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage
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Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage

3.3  ·  Rating details ·  1,356 Ratings  ·  222 Reviews
From a family that inspired 'Big Love's' story of Bill Henrickson and his three wives, this first-ever memoir of a polygamous family captures the extraordinary workings of a unique family dynamic, and argues for the acceptance of plural marriage as an alternative lifestyle.
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published September 13th 2011 by HarperOne (first published September 1st 2011)
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Sep 20, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have rules in my life: #1 I never watch movies with robots (Transformers, Tron, etc) or that have sports as a central theme (Miracle, Remember the Titans, etc). I have never seen one that I enjoyed, so I've stopped wasting my time on them. Rule #2 I ALWAYS read a book if it is about either China or polygamy. Those are the two most fascinating subjects in the whole world, according to me. So, here's the deal: this book was about polygamy, but it was actually sort of boring. However, THAT WAS TH ...more
Mar 14, 2012 rated it liked it
"I was nervous to read this book for a few reasons...One being I am a firm believer in monogamous marriages. Polygamy is absolutely against my religious beliefs. I get uncomfortable even thinking about the concept of polygamy but at the same time, it intrigues me! I cannot fathom sharing my husband with another woman! I don't even like to think about the other girls he dated, loved or even proposed to before he and I were married. How do polygamous women handle sharing their husband? I'm not tal ...more
Sep 23, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir, read-2011
Utterly fascinating! While I don't necessarily agree with the Dargers' lifestyle choices, (in terms of for myself), I definitely think they have the right to live as they do without threat of persecution. This book was so helpful in giving a glimpse of what their day to day life is like, as well as answering some of the more prurient questions on my mind.

I admire greatly their choices and how the Dargers', individually and as a family, navigate the practical as well as spiritual side to their li
Mar 30, 2012 rated it liked it
Recommended to Annalisa by: Dixie
Most of my understanding of modern-day polygamy extends to what I hear about the FLDS church on the news and what I observe from the polygamists who dress like pioneers that I see on occasion at the store. It was always my impression that they refused to look at you because they thought you were sinful and they didn't want you influencing their bubble. I'd never thought about this whole different culture of polygamist who keep quiet out of fear of persecution and prosecution.

Just to set the reco
Nov 14, 2011 rated it it was ok
Love Times Three is a “somewhat” revealing insider’s look at a modern polygamous family. I emphasize “somewhat” because the Dargers write in such a sheltered, youthful manner that you gain very little from what they are sharing. In fairness, the Dargers are upfront about the purpose of this book, explaining that they are sharing their own experiences to help stifle the misconceptions about the lifestyle—showing the world that not all polygamists are of the Warren Jeffs ilk. In this, they succeed ...more
Oct 28, 2011 rated it did not like it
This is blatant propaganda. The Jeffs problems are glossed over, but never condemned in as firm a way as I would expect, and Joe brushes it off with supposedly amusing lines about how his wives would never let him look at a younger woman! (Exclamation point his; the book is also a little loose with the exclamation points.)

The 2nd half of the book does show some difficulties of the lifestyle but it was strange. With the structure of the book there isn't enough space to delve deeply into these pr
Sep 28, 2011 rated it really liked it
While I don't live the way they do, I find their lifestyle fascinating. Choosing to enter into a relationship where you are sharing your spouse with someone else, or multiple other people, would take a very strong religious conviction. But having the really close, supporting help of the other women would be very nice. I thought the book was written well, with different perspectives, was very interesting. It is also nice to see a different side to the regular polygamist news story about underage ...more
Jan 15, 2012 rated it did not like it
What a ridiculous book. Joe of course only sees good in having three wives, and the woman of course love the idea of having best friends always close by. Sure they do. I think they either get into competion in starting the relationship and no one wants to cry uncle or they really are afraid no one could just love them. They sound like a bunch of teenagers. Don't waste your time.
Interesting. I felt it was unnecessary to hear the same story from 2 or more points of view, especially because it was impossible to distinguish voices of different people. I often forgot which wife's story I was reading and had to flip back and check.
Dec 19, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2013
This book has a certain "rubber necking" quality, meaning that like a car crash you pass while driving, you stare and slow down, even though it is wrong. That is how I felt reading this book about a polygamous family - that I had an healthy fascination with the intimate, private details of their life. From a literary perspective, the book is not that well written (thus 3 stars). Each of the three wives and husband (and in one chapter, even a few of their 23 - yes 23 - kids) "trade off" sharing t ...more
Nov 18, 2013 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: People curious about polygamists
A very interesting book about a polygamist family. Joe is twenty, and he marries Alina and Vicki on the same day. He courted them together. The book discusses how expensive it is to go into plural marriage. Ten years later he takes a third wife, Vicki's twin sister, Valerie. She is eight months out of a really bad plural marriage. She was 19 or 20 when she married a 44 year-old who already had four wives and lots of children. She had five children with him. But he turned into a jerk and a compul ...more
Judy King
Mar 19, 2012 rated it it was ok
This story could have been much much better with a better writer or a fair editor -- each of the spouses tells his/her own story -- but since the three women are a oousin and twin sisters there's way more overlap than is needed -- especially in the sections about when the husband, the first twin and the cousin were courting -- they all told their own story an then the other twin told it too, since she was watching it unfold.

Too bad. I'm sure these are plain ordinary, normal people with a story
Mar 23, 2017 rated it it was ok
While well written, it's hard to get past the misogynistic dogma behind the religious group that drives this 'lifestyle'

As people, the Dargers are all interesting and likeable. However, the portrayal them being some kind of martyrs because of their beliefs is not something I buy (this was a library loan book)

I'm not going to congratulate them for 'making it work' nor am I going to condemn them for pursuing a 'lifestyle' that they grew up in.

Jan 22, 2013 rated it really liked it
I just finished this book. It is an insiders look at a "modern" polygamist family. Very interesting. I have to admit I liked the book and read it super fast. I think it would be a fantastic book club selection. SO.MUCH.TO.DISCUSS.

Polygamy is not something I have ever really wanted to think about let alone read about. I am LDS and I get annoyed by people who think that people who are LDS practice polygamy...we do not. We haven't for over 100 years and anyone who does is excommunicated. But still
Lottie Panebianco
Jun 01, 2012 rated it liked it
Most of my understanding of modern-day polygamy extends to what I hear about the FLDS church on the news and what I observe from the polygamists who dress like pioneers that I see on occasion at the store. It was always my impression that they refused to look at you because they thought you were sinful and they didn't want you influencing their bubble. I'd never thought about this whole different culture of polygamist who keep quiet out of fear of persecution and prosecution. Just to set the rec ...more
Dec 27, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2011books
In a time when polygyny (men taking on multiple wives) is so misunderstood, the Darger family makes it seem as American as Apple Pie!

This memoir follows the Darger Family through their creation, good times, bad times, and statistics about modern polygonous families. The Dargers do set-out with clarifying myths about polygyny, especially in how they differentiate themselves from Warren Jeffs. Statistically, 60% of men take on two wives, 20% have three, and 10% have four. These numbers do indicate
Jun 06, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book was suggested to me while I was reading "Sister Wives" by the Brown family. Just like with that book, I enjoyed this book a lot, too. I have long been curious about modern polygamy, so it was really interesting to read.

I liked this book better than the one written by the Browns, because this one was more forthcoming and honest about the stuff we "regular" people REALLY want to know. You know, all those questions that make us look like prying jerks if we actually ask them. At the same t
Oct 07, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
I'm addicted to Big Love and Sister Wives, so I knew I had to read this.

While I personally don't really understand polygamy and having sister wives, I can't pretend like I am not utterly fascinated by it. The TLC reality show Sister Wives is currently one of my biggest guilty pleasures. The whole thing is just kind of mind-boggling to me. Especially in this family where Joe married Alina and Vicki on the same day, and then 10 years later married Vicki's twin sister Val!

I found this to be a quick
Jan 03, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Saw this group on Dr. Phil and was very impressed with how articulate they were. I was curious to learn more. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and spent several hours reading it from start to end. I must say that the reality of their relationship bore no resemblance to what my initial impression was when I thought of polygamy. They have exceptionally high morals and values and are raising children who seem very well grounded as well. They follow teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day ...more
Oct 15, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nook

The Darger's are not the perfect family, but neither are they anywhere remotely like Warren Jeffs, the image we all default to when we hear "Polygamous". We all know that the Hendrickson's are a fictional family, but they started to plant the seed that Polygamy is not as criminal as we are led to believe. Then we met the Brown's. And while Kody Brown is NOT the kind of man I would ever want to marry, he obviously loves his family and strives to do right by
Sep 22, 2011 rated it it was amazing
This was an excellent book. For me, I really enjoyed the differing perspectives of the adults, even when they overlapped. I especially enjoyed their telling of Vicki's first date with Joe and how she perceived what happened versus how he perceived it. Ultimately it was an embarrassing experience for them both but because they ultimately married, they can laugh at it now. They also are honest in sharing their feelings of jealousy, some of their challenges and growing pains as the first two women ...more
Jun 28, 2015 rated it liked it
This book is a memoir of a plural family living in Utah. Joe Dargar has three wives, two of which are twin sisters. The novel is the story of their lives and how they came together.

I enjoy reading memoirs, especially when they highlight lifestyles different from my own. The Dargars did a great job of advocating for tolerance and acceptance of polygamous marriage and to help dispell sterotypes and misconceptions.

Although not a relationship I would choose for myself I understand why they made thei
Feb 07, 2012 rated it really liked it
I've seen the Dargers on Oprah and Dr. Phil so I was intrigued by their book.

Really great book! They seem like such a nice, caring family that I just feel like, bless your hearts. They're trying to raise decent, hardworking kids who are responsible, sensitive, and open minded.

God love em. I couldn't sweetly share my husband but I understand why they do and why they prefer it.

In comparison to so many weaselly guys in the world who cheat on wives and have kids all over town, I can't imagine con
Jun 27, 2013 rated it it was ok
I went all-in for Big Love and so I couldn't put this down, despite the format. All four participants in the marriage give their perspectives on major events in their family, which makes it perilously close to boring times three. Like most relationships that don't have mainstream cultural models, they are very intentional about their relationship. Despite hewing very closely to traditional gender roles (seriously, I never want to read another book that contains the term "honey-do list"), their a ...more
Nov 11, 2011 rated it liked it
I have an open mind about most things, more so than my husband or family members but I just can't wrap my head around this... The more I got into the book I was facinated by the use of the words "religion" and "love for my wife".. I believe that marriage should be with 1 woman and 1 man, however am coming to accept 2 women marrying or 2 men because they are still monogamous. They aren't having multiple partners and/or 20 - 30 children.. I guess it's their way of life, and just because I think it ...more
HarperOne (an imprint of HarperCollins)
From a family that inspired Big Love’s story of Bill Henrickson and his three wives, this first-ever memoir of a polygamous family captures the extraordinary workings of a unique family dynamic, and argues for the acceptance of plural marriage as an alternative lifestyle. Readers of Carolyn Jessop’s Escape, Elissa Wall’s Stolen Innocence, and James McGreevey’s Confession, as well as fans of shows like Big Love and Sister Wives, will be enthralled by the first groundbreaking book in praise of pol ...more
Mar 13, 2012 rated it it was ok
Can't go wrong with a book about polygamy. But this one wasn't my favorite. WHile they seem like a likeable family it was annoying that they left out the important parts of their life and the difficulties of polygamy. You know the stuff everyone is interested in. THey didn't touch too much on the subjects of jealousy and intimacy and it left a lot lacking because it just wasnt a full portrayal of what their life must be like. And the dad looks way too much like Jack Black.
Oct 04, 2011 rated it really liked it
It was nice to get an insight that was personal. Not a lifestyle that I would choose for myself, but they are all consenting adults and attempting to live the life they feel best suits them in their faith walk. Very interesting and nice to have a side of the story that is from consenting adults, not children forced into this type of marriage.
Feb 13, 2013 rated it liked it
A very interesting book. I live in the Salt Lake City area, and I didn't realize there were lots of polygamists around here. Who knew?

I was really sad to realize people were so awful to this family, but mostly to the kids. Why would you attack children? It was eye opening for me.

Treat others kindly. That's what I got from this book.
Sep 21, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2011-books
I admit, I was disappointed in this book. The book tells the family's story from each of the spouse's view. The result? Several main stories are repeated because the "ghost" writer felt that it was important that each spouse tell their story.
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Joe, Alina, Vicki, And Valerie Darger live a normal suburban life in a large home in Salt Lake County with over twenty of their twenty-four children. Joe, Alina, and Vicki were married on the same day twenty-one years ago. Valerie, Vicki’s twin sister, joined the family in 2000.
More about Joe Darger...