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Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life
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Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life

3.83  ·  Rating details ·  197 ratings  ·  38 reviews
From the country’s foremost expert on “cold feet,” a smart and compassionate guide for the bride-to-be who thinks she should be blissfully happy—but is freaking out instead For most brides, the elation of engagement is accompanied by a cocktail of unexpected emotions: Anxiety about making a lifelong commitment. Sadness about leaving their single life behind. Confusion when ...more
Paperback, 240 pages
Published December 26th 2006 by Plume (first published 2006)
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Average rating 3.83  · 
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 ·  197 ratings  ·  38 reviews

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This book is trash, and I put it there (okay, the recycling bin, because I'm not a monster). I have had lots of feels about being engaged, wedding planning, etc. but none of them involved not being able to talk or hang out with my single friends because I was affianced and gave all my emotional energy to my man (again, not a monster).

I think it was just a book written for a different time and/or a different girl, and if you find it helpful good for you. It just wasn't what was good for me
Lacey Louwagie
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm so glad this book exists. As I've been planning to (obsessing over) getting married, I've found myself frustrated that there are books out there about EVERYTHING to do with planning and pulling off the wedding, but virtually nothing that speaks to the emotional experience of preparing for the life-change that marriage will bring. This book, thankfully, fills that void.

Allison Moir-Smith focuses her therapy practice on counseling brides, and this bo
Apr 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
Helpful, if a bit dated (lots of Sex and the City metaphors, references to faxing directions to vendors, and PalmPilots). As far as I know, this is one of the only books out there addressing pre-wedding anxiety. There should be more! Would be great to see this updated for 2019. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Jan 12, 2021 rated it really liked it
I come writing this review while purging my bookshelves in 2021. I purchased and read this book in the middle of my engagement to my wonderful husband in 2013.

Let’s just say, looking back at this time I feel all the same emotions about it. Basically, I was the first of my friends engaged, also my family (not my husbands family), wasn’t completely helpful and were pretty much bossing me around on how to plan my wedding. Pretty much my joy was sucked dry during the engagement/wedding planning per
Elizabeth K
Sep 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: relationships
When one of my fav bloggers got engaged nearly 5 years ago, I earmarked her entry referencing this book. Now engaged myself in my late twenties (with an identity more established than I realized), this book has served to be a great comfort in navigating the psychological transition from ‘single’ to engaged to married. Even for those not experiencing the ups and downs of engagement, this book serves to set up your marriage for success as many transitions are still experienced within the first yea ...more
Shannon Yarbrough
Sep 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book helped me tremendously during the first months of engagement when I found myself experiencing a lot of rocky and confusing emotions. It is accessible and incredibly insightful.
Mar 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Fresh Perspective

Sound advice on entering this new phase of life that you may not get from your immediate circle of friends. Very reassuring.
Aug 07, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Originally posted on The Beauty of Existence

I found this book a little while back, and I knew it would be something I’d like to read, but I was blown away by how helpful it actually was.

The author went through a difficult time during her engagement, family issues, internal struggles, and she took that experience and decided to help other brides-to-be. She relates her experiences, as well as the stories of those who called on her for help, in order to shed light on how being engaged really feels.
Sep 04, 2011 rated it liked it
I just finished "Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the 'Happiest' Time of Her Life" by Allison Moir-Smith. While some of it was a little over-the-top for me and some of the dialogue in the examples of situations given seemed a bit juvenile, it was a good book to read when I needed a little bit of de-stressing time. It helped to know that it wasn't abnormal for me to be down and depressed some days even though I'm planning for one of the happiest days of my life. It encourages you ...more
Mary Kay
Mar 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I found this book very helpful for understanding the emotional side of an engagement, and why seemingly simple decisions can feel very stressful. There are journal exercises throughout the book to help you figure out what getting married means to you, which I found useful for figuring out why I'm feeling how I feel. By understanding my feelings, I am better equipped to manage them. Even sunshine has shadows, and I really appreciated this honest exploration of the shadow side of the happiest time ...more
Jul 14, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: future brides
I may be unduly harsh, but I feel like I've been a real nightmare throughout our engagement. I've purchased many books, attempting to find some solace that this is a temporary condition and that I'll be back to my old self in no time.

The search is over! This will be a frequent gift to future brides. This book was a lifesaver. Some of the suggested activities were hokey. Very hokey, hence the withheld final star, but still strongly recommended.
Michelle Plass
Mar 04, 2010 rated it it was amazing
A fabulous read for any bride-to-be it talks about the transition between being single and getting married. Just like The Conscious Bride, only without some of the patronizing language and mythology. A very easy and engaging read the encourages all women to feel their feelings and that just because they may have questions or confusion about marriage doesn't mean there is anything wrong with their relationship. A must read for all the engaged ladies out there! ...more
Cornelia Schiller
Mar 15, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I recently read this book and it really helped me at the time. It is well structured, direct and at times no-nonsense, but written with a very light and humorous tone. Kind of makes you feel like you are talking to the author in a friend-setting. It was an easy read and I probably finished the thing in about an hour. The first self-help book I've ever read and would definitely recommend to all bride-to-bes out there! ...more
Aug 20, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This is a must read for the engaged or newly married bride. I just recently got married and had gone through a lot of changes that I was unaware of from being engaged. This book helped clarify the emotions that went along with the engagement and the life changing committment I was about to make. Excellent book!!
Dec 15, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I highly recommend this to any and every bride who desires not only to make the most of her engagement period but her marriage, to think more holistically than simply of the day of the wedding. It is fantastic and really helped me to realize the full potential of my engagement period and to prepare for marriage. It's awesome! ...more
A much more engaging read now that I've start planning my wedding, as opposed to previously when I had no idea when the wedding was going to be. The book really does make you think about your emotions and what could be causing various different feelings, and really did give me some insight as to what might be going on in my head. ...more
Jul 17, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: women who are getting married
Recommended to Jessica by: MSN
A book you must read if you are getting married! It explains and makes sense of why everyone in your life gets so crazy around weddings. It also offers good advise on how to be calm and enjoy your wedding day.
Sep 11, 2008 rated it really liked it
This book was very helpful and full on insight. You go through a lot of emotions when planning your wedding and during the engagement this guide helps you not feel so crazy and to realize what your feeling isn't too far from the norm. ...more
Apr 01, 2009 rated it liked it
Recommended to Alia by: Kristian
A really interesting and thought-provoking take on what women actually go through emotionally during their engagements. Probably would be more helpful to me if I were engaged while reading this, but hopefully I'll be able to use the information when I do get engaged. ...more
Apr 04, 2010 rated it it was amazing
I read this in the early days of my engagement. I learned so much from this, and a lot of the book has stuck with me. I've recommended it to all of my engaged friends. Getting married should be a deliberate choice for your future, not something to get caught up in. ...more
Renada Thompson
Nov 21, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2013
Helpful and encouraging. I appreciated the advice to clarify my expectations of how I "should" feel at various stages and then give myself permission to feel many different emotions. Not always happy ones! A book that is both clear-eyed and cheering. ...more
May 21, 2008 rated it really liked it
Should say currently re-reading. This has been great to return to throughout the planning process!
May 28, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I was afraid it might be hokey, but it really did help.
Aug 31, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: brides who can't get off their butts to plan the wedding
Recommended to Jen by: Lavina
I learned two very important things:

1) More people feel like me than don't feel like me, thanks
2) Everything will be fine
Sep 15, 2008 rated it liked it
Since my awesome friend Kati bought me this book, I decided I should read it. Had some fun information...some of it was a bit dramatic for my life.
Feb 02, 2009 rated it liked it
A very good choice for the mood I was in at the time. Finished it, feel better about my planning and am trying to keep things in perspective...
Jul 20, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Surprisingly cool, relevant book about learning how to commit to another person and building a family with them. I especially liked the family map exercises.
Walker Doermann
Jul 06, 2010 rated it really liked it
A must read for the newly-engaged!
Apr 09, 2011 rated it liked it
interesting thoughts for people preparing to get married. Helped me deal with the myriad of emotions that come with being engaged.
Jul 11, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Every engaged woman should read this book.
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