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The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership
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The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership

4.08  ·  Rating details ·  790 Ratings  ·  203 Reviews

Dump the allowance-and use a new "Family Economy" to raise responsible children in an age of instant gratification.

Number-one New York Times bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre, have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they've synthesized their vast experience in an essential blueprint to instilling children wi

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Paperback, 256 pages
Published September 6th 2011 by Avery (first published September 6th 2001)
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Lara
Sep 30, 2011 rated it really liked it
I've been seeing quite a lot of hype about this book in blogland, so I was excited when I was asked to review it.

I have devoured it. Devoured. And I am excited to implement the principles I've learned in my own household.

In the introduction, The Eyres explain how entitlement is the "one reason parenting is harder today than it has ever been." And then they go on to explain that entitlement comes from a lack of ownership. Children are given so much and little is expected of them. It took much mor
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Jack Cheng
I'm officially giving up on this one, having read about 2/3.

The authors diagnose a common issue in families -- entitlement -- but their solution is to establish a market economy in your home. I can see how this would give kids incentive to work and to feel ownership for things they bought, and generally appreciate the life they lead. However, living life like it's a Monopoly game doesn't sound great to me. It might work for some people (and kids) but I would hate for my kids to constantly put a
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Russell
Sep 14, 2011 rated it really liked it
This is the first Eyre book I've read, so that being said, here's what I most enjoyed about it:

* The ideas are practical and make sense
* They included reader feedback with additional variations and suggestions
* Didn't feel "fluffy", all the content was relevant and I didn't have a sense/need to skip anything
* The ideas resonated with me, many recommendations connected the dots for some ideas I've had for quite some time but wasn't sure how to implement them
* I felt motivated and encouraged by wh
...more
Cailean
Aug 12, 2013 rated it really liked it
Okay I'm going to be 100% honest and say I really don't like parenting books. I don't know why exactly, but maybe it's because the point at which I really NEED to read one, I'm so exhausted and frustrated that I don't have any desire to read it! That being said, I trust the Eyre family's advice and I liked the title of this book. I found it really interesting and well thought-out. It doesn't hold back in basically telling parents that they are the problem. It's true. If a child feels entitled, t ...more
Tara D
Jan 11, 2013 rated it really liked it
Having not ever read any of the other Eyre's other books, I found this book to be a tremendous resource. Others have complained that it's a bit redundant if you've read other Eyre books, but I LOVED it. We did not implement the money system in its entirety, but we did incorporate many of the ideas, tweaked a bit for our family and combined with the system one of their children uses (as described on her blog (http://www.71toes.com/search/label/money). It's a fantastic way to give your children OW ...more
Shauna
Oct 16, 2011 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed reading this book as follow up to a parenting retreat we attended in the Eyre's home. I think it's directed mainly for parents with children in the elementary school years. I agreed with another reviewer who said it was like "the best of" taken from all other books the Eyre's have written.
Laura Murdoch
Sep 12, 2011 rated it liked it
I really enjoy all of the Eyre's books, but they all seem to read the same with the same information. Most of the examples they used in the book were from other of their books that I've read. I wanted new examples and ideas from them. I totally agree with them that the current generation of kids seem to be more entitled than ever before. I think even my generation feels that they are entitled to more with less work. Just look at the nation's debt and obesity rates, for example, it screams entitl ...more
Becky
Jul 11, 2012 rated it it was amazing
So this is the first book I have read authored by the Eyre's. Some of the other reviews I have read expressed that their books can be repetitive and redundant- but not having read any previously I thought this book was great! A must read for everyone. Whether you have children or not. I think the title is a little misleading (in my opinion)... I didn't feel like my children needed to be rescued, and we have implemented some of these principles into our home prior to reading the book, just not on ...more
Laura
Aug 29, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book has been on my to-read list for years and I'm glad I finally did! The author has some great ideas on how to teach your children to work, earn, and appreciate the things they have instead of just expecting a laundry list of gadgets and experiences. Lots of fun--and some unorthodox--approaches to allowance, relationship conflict and other things. I love the idea of a repenting bench...a place where arguing children are sent to and must remain until they 1)say how they contributed to the ...more
Amy
Jun 14, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I love this book! While most parenting books I have read are reactive, this book is proactive. I love all of the ideas in this book: from family traditions and family economy to helping your children to have ownership over values, decisions, relationships, etc. I have always felt that a parent should be more of a guide than a tyrant (especially as children grow up and need to take on more responsibility), but did not have the skill-set to make this work. I will (and have already) be implementing ...more
Ashley
Feb 12, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: money
Great book! There is a very corny parable about the Owner Ship in the first chapter or two, but I realized that it part of it's beauty. Because it is so contrived, it has the power to really stick with you and teach principles clearly.

I like the starting point this gives for building strong families with responsible members each taking ownership of their choices and things. I don't think it is intended to be a cookie cutter pattern for everyone, but a basis for a way of thinking.
Sally
Feb 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
One of the best parenting books I've read. This book has the solution for rampant entitlement - ownership! The Eyre's have targeted these parenting ideas towards the oft forgotten middle age children (ages 8 through 14). Their advice makes sense!! Glad I read it and will be a supportive grandparent.
Laurel
Sep 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I really enjoyed this readable and applicable book. I hadn't thought of the problem facing parents today as an issue with entitlement before reading the book, but now I find myself applying the idea right and left. We have been successful for the first time with our "family economy" thanks to many of the ideas in this book.
Maren
Feb 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing
LOVED this book & can't wait to use the ideas in our family!
Shae
Jul 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
In summary, the way to innoculate your children against entitlement is to give them ownership. I don't know if I could really commit to the ownership of money/stuff (though they recommend eight as being the age to start, so I suppose I don't have to worry yet), but I was very impressed with the chapters on ownership of values and goals and marked several passages to share with my husband. Lots of good examples and I always appreciate sample dialogue to use with children.
Holly
Jun 19, 2017 rated it liked it
I thought I'd get more from this book than I did. The concepts get 5 stars, but the Eyers' style kind of bugs me. I swear, I might die if I have to hear the story of their son and his wife pulling out the pregnancy test (ew!) at the restaurant where they gave their son "the talk" (they shared the same story in another book). 1/2 of the book was marketing their other books, but I kind of liked that because I got the major points without reading them! Having your kids start to buy their own clothe ...more
Michelle
May 15, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I love this book! I want to implement 100% of what the Eyres wrote about. The Eyres have so much experience and I really trust their opinions and recommendations. It's exactly what I needed to read right now in my life. Definitely 5 stars from me.👍🏻😊
Kami
Jun 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Really enjoyed this. I'm trying to implement some of the ideas. Raising kids is complicated! It's good to get some ideas and then figure out how they fit into our family.
Stacey
Feb 22, 2017 rated it really liked it
This book had some great info in it. I really liked how they set up their family economy. I had heard/read about some of their other ideas already, but it was a good refresher. Now, I just need to choose what I want to incorporate in my own fam and get to work.
Stephanie Stach
Feb 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Tanya
This book came highly recommended and I approached it with an open, teachable attitude. During the first section I found myself nodding my head in agreement, ready to incorporate all the Eyres' suggestions into my family life. But as the book went on and details of "the family economy" piled up, I found so many things that wouldn't work in our home. For one thing, my kids are too old to start such an all-encompassing program; they wouldn't respond well to overturning the way we do absolutely eve ...more
Book Him Danno
We have five wonderful children that are constantly asking for things and money. One wants the newest things out there, another wants every new Lego set on the market, another wants only the best clothes with the biggest names splashed across his chest, another doesn’t really care and the one and only girl wants craft items to make and play with everyday. Well this gets to be difficult and expensive. What do we buy and what don’t we buy? We do not believe in debt and so we honestly can’t buy muc ...more
Abby
Feb 16, 2017 rated it really liked it
This is definitely a resourceful book filled with plenty of ideas on how to instill ownership and a sense of responsibility to our children. I really like how it's a proactive approach to parenting with setting up systems for children to thrive and learn from.

I will be coming back to this book in a few years when our kids are older to implement the "family economy" and the "humanitarian trips" but everything else can be applicable now like the "gunny sack" or "repenting bench" or "one value a mo
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Melissa
Sep 12, 2011 rated it really liked it
The Entitlement Trap has revolutionized our family economy and also influenced our approach to parenting. The premise is that "ownership is the antidote to entitlement and the prerequisite to responsibility." In the first half of the book the authors, Richard and Linda Eyre, outline a monetary system that reflects the real economy and helps kids learn how to earn, save, budget, give to others and take care of the things that belong to them. The second half of the book focuses on giving kids owne ...more
Beckarado
Nov 13, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This book is exactly what I was looking for. My kids are not "spoiled brats", but I want to be sure that they don't become them. I want them to learn to work for things (money) and learn to spend wisely, and learn to own their behavior, own their decisions, own their lives.

The first part of this book goes over a "family economy" where kids do specific jobs through the week and earn points that essentially earn money at the end of the week (pay day)....it's not like getting an allowance because y
...more
Rachelle
Aug 20, 2014 rated it really liked it
I listened to this book on CD and really loved many of the ideas presented. The main portion of the book outlines a system to help kids work in their home, earn money and spend it wisely. Although I've never really been a big fan of allowances, this is quite different and this book demonstrates how the ownership given to kids through this system can really help them gain responsibility, greater appreciation for the things they do enjoy and a greater sense of self worth. IT also lends greater mea ...more
Heidi
The premise of this book is that many parenting problems come from kids' sense of entitlement. When kids feel they deserve and should have whatever they want and be able to do anything they want (entitlement), they lack motivation, independence, responsibility, and other important traits. The solution proposed is to give kids a sense of ownership. People feel ownership when they work for something, work on something, and/or work with something. When kids feel ownership, they gain responsibility, ...more
Elasha
Feb 27, 2012 rated it liked it
I'm constantly looking for ways to fine tune our work/money management systems for our kids, and I like the Eyres, so I had to take a look at this one. I have read the Eyre's other books (Teaching Your Children Values; Teaching your Children Responsibility) and am fairly familiar with their other support resources. And so, this one seemed pretty repetitive. If you have not read their other books, then I highly recommend this and/or the others as great parenting resources: good ideas, practical, ...more
Yvonne
Mar 27, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I really, REALLY liked the parenting method the Eyres used with their children. I also didn't realize until after reading this book that THEY are the creators of Joy School that I've heard so many moms talk about.

After reading reviews of this book, I saw that for newcomers to the Eyres library, this was a good one, but if you have already read their other books, you will already know what is in here and feel it is redundant.

Since I am new to the Eyres library, I really did like this book. I ap
...more
Danielle
Sep 20, 2011 rated it really liked it
This was great- I love the Eyres and I would recommend this for anyone to read. I have read some of their other stuff so I feel like much of it was reviews of their other publications, condensed and packed in. But for someone with a young family, I need all the review I can get, so I didn't mind. I love love love the idea though- oh I love what they teach and have to offer. It is wild what entitlement is coming to mean these days and I so badly want to teach my children the correct view of money ...more
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Writers, lecturers, and grassroots and media catalysts, Linda and Richard Eyre's mission statement: "Our vision is to FORTIFY FAMILIES by celebrating commitment, popularizing parenting, glorifying grandparenting, bolstering balance, and validating values." Their latest efforts in these directions are their new books (The Happy Family [St. Martins Press], Empty Nest Parenting [Bookcraft], and The B ...more
More about Richard Eyre...
“Resolution, like responsibility, is a product of ownership, and kids can't resolve a conflict until they figure out how they contributed to it.” 38 likes
“This sense of entitlement contributes mightily to sloppiness, to low incentive, to boredom, to bad choices, to instant gratification, to constant demands for more, and to all kinds of addictions (including the addiction to technology).” 0 likes
More quotes…