What do you think?
Rate this book
356 pages, Paperback
First published May 25, 2011
Introducing an even more abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT! Now with whips and chains!
Fifty Shades of Shit
"An original work, and said to us that James had warranted the books were, indeed original. Messitte added she was “aware of the narrative that [50 SHADES] started as differently titled piece of fiction, but that they were and are two distinctly separate pieces of work."
"I want to hurt you. But not beyond anything you couldn't take."
"Please don't be angry with me," I whisper.
"Please don't hit me," I whisper, pleading.
His brow furrows, his eyes widening. He blinks twice.
"I don't want you to spank me. Not here. Not now. Please don't."
"form of personal relationship involving the consensual useConsensual being the key word! Don't tell me we have two consenting adults here. No, Ana is just a child trapped in a woman's body. She has no true idea of what this lifestyle entails and is at most times in fear.
“Why would I do that?”
“To please me”
“I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn,”
“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.”
"How did you find me?"
"I tracked your cell phone Anastasia."
Oh, of course he did. How is that possible? Is that legal? Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that's still floating in my brain, but somehow, because it's him, I don't mind.
“Is this what our err… relationship will be like?” I whisper. “You, ordering me around?”
“Yes,” he murmurs.
“The Submissive will ensure she achieves a minimum of seven hours sleep a night when she is not with the Dominant.”
“The Submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit.”
“During the term, the Submissive will wear clothing only approved by the Dominant.”
“The Dominant shall provide the Submissive with a personal trainer four times a week in hour-long sessions.”
"The Submissive shall accept whippings, floggings, spankings, caning, paddling or any other discipline the Dominant should decide to administer, without hesitation, enquiry or complaint.”
“The Submissive shall not touch or pleasure herself sexually without permission from the Dominant.”
“The Submissive shall submit to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominant and shall do without hesitation or argument.”
“The Submissive shall not look directly into the eyes of the Dominant except when specifically instructed to do so.”
"You've not eaten very much."
"I've had enough."
“Three oysters, four bites of cod, and one asparagus stalk, no potatoes, no nuts, no olives, and you’ve not eaten all day.”
“Swallowing semen… well, you get an A in that.”
I flush, and my inner goddess smacks her lips together with glowing pride.
“No one’s ever said no to me before. And it’s so – hot.”
“ I flush at the waywardness of my subconscious - she's doing her happy dance in a bright red hula skirt at the thought of being his.”
“My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”
“My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheerleading pom-poms.”
“My inner goddess is doing back flips in a routine worthy of a Russian Olympic gymnast.”
Post Script on May 8, 2012
This book has exploded since I first read it and it seems to be one that is either loved or hated. I'm actually very thankful that I read it before any of my GR friends or anyone I knew, because I feel like if I read it now, after hearing all the hype, it would probably disappoint.
People have very strong reactions to Fifty Shades and just to put in my two cents: you read different books for different reasons. In my opinion!!! ...: Was this book a great piece of literature? No. Were these characters ones whom you could write grad school theses about? No. But you know what? I loved the romance, I loved the chemistry, and I enjoyed myself tremendously while reading it - it had me grinning ridiculously for hours. That's what I wanted from this book, and that's what I got, so for me, that was enough.
Post Post Script on October 9, 2012
I greatly appreciate all those who have defended my review in the comments section - especially those who completely disagreed with my opinion of the book. For those making hateful comments: you don't like the book, people who did are apparently driving you crazy, so my advice: stop reading all the positive reviews!! Age-old rule: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Post Post Post Script on January 13, 2017
Almost 500 comments on this review, but none for awhile, so not sure why I'm coming back to it now. I started reading the most recent comments though and my own review, and frankly I wanted to delete some of it, but figured that was ridiculous at this point. I wouldn't write this same review were I to read it now, but that was what I thought that morning at the time right after I read it, so it is what it is. Finally watched the movie recently, which is probably what brought me round to this, and for the record: yes, Christian does f*cked up shit (they don't even get to all of it in the movie) and were this real-life, I would have advised her to get a restraining order, because wtf. But it's not. Anyway. I wrote what I wrote; I was in my early 20s; I liked it. Peace xo