Never Trust a Calm Dog: And Other Rules of Thumb

by Tom Parker

Offers thousands of pieces of wisdom and advice, providing solutions to such dilemmas as when to stop pouring milk on Cheerios and how to estimate the number of people it takes to capture a python

Genres: Trivia, Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 1990

About the author

Tom Parker is an author and illustrator who lives in Ithaca, N.Y., and works for Cornell University. He has written and illustrated Rules of Thumb volumes 1 and 2, In One Day, Never Trust a Calm Dog, and Le Livre du Bon Sens, a French translation which even he can't understand. Trained as a biologist (Earlham College) Parker spent fifteen years as the cover editor and a contributing writer for American Demographics Magazine. His writing and illustrations have appeared in text books, children's books and a long list of other publications including The Wall Street Journal, Audubon, National Wildlife, Glamour Magazine, and The Whole Earth Catalog/CoEvolutionQuarterly. Parker and his books have appeared on Late Night with David Letterman, The Tonight Show, The Today Show and on the CBS Evening News. When he is not collecting rules of thumb, Parker is a flight instructor and flies a 1956 Cessna 180 bush plane. He is currently a contributing writer for MAKE Magazine.
source: Amazon.com


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Reviews

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't believe how long I've been reading this one, so it was time just to sit down and finish it today so it stops hanging over my head. Some things I loved about it were also some of the same things I hated - the ridiculousness of it; how there were directly contradictory things in different places. There were several repeats and some typos, and I've no patience for bad editing. This book is great for a coffee table - a collection of hodge podge, useless, and sometimes entertaining nuggets. Some bits I enjoyed:

The funny
1482: When cars look as big as ants, it's time to open the parachute. When ants look as big as cars, you've waited too long. - Ernst Luposchainsky, III, adventurer & nautical enthusiast, inter alia, Holllywood, California

Hahahaha! And what are you going to do about it?

The ironic
1509: A bass player needs double the power of a guitarist. If your guitarist has a 50-watt combo, you need 100 watts on the bass - Dean Sheridan, electronics technician and deaf actor, Torrance California

Love the irony here. A deaf dude is the authority on the watts of bass needed? Is that by chance how he lost his hearing? Note: To be fair, this guy is cited numerous times on myriad random subjects throughout the book.

The bizarre
1534: How a suicidal person is born influences their choice of suicide method. People who commit suicide by hanging were likely deprived of oxygen at birth. People who shoot themselves in the head were likely delivered with forceps. Mothers of people who overdose were probably anesthetized for delivery. Caesareans tend to slit their wrists. - Terry Larimore, writer and therapist, Houston Texas

Really? How do you know? My mother doesn't even remember the day or time I was born. Who chose to research this, and why? What purpose does it serve? Are these suicides former clients?

The witty
1559: Catholics feel guilty for what they weren't supposed to do and did. Jews feel guilty for what they were supposed to do and didn't - Michael Rider, art director, American Demographics

I think it could be safely added that Mormons feel guilty for both. ")

The perceptive
1666: When women marry, they think their husbands will change. When men marry, they think their wives will never change. Both are wrong. - Bruno Colapietro, matrimonial lawyer with over 8,000 cases, Binghamton, New York

Quite.

The intriguing
1877: Different species consume the same energy per body weight for similar movements. A step for a human is equivalent to a wing flap for a bird or a tail flip for a fish. - Norman Brenner, Fleetwood, New York