First-Time Mom

by Kevin Leman

What does it take to rear a firstborn child? Renowned psychologist Kevin Leman educates moms and dads on the essentials of parenting and expounds on the traits that characterize firstborn children so new parents know what to expect. He explains how birth order can influence each stage of development--from infancy on into young adulthood. This book will help first-time parents--especially mothers--adjust to their new situation and role while raising a happy, healthy child.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian

Hardcover

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, The Today Show, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including The Birth Order Book and Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Connect with Dr. Leman on:
BirthOrderGuy.com
Facebook
Twitter

Reviews

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice, light intro to motherhood from a long-time psychologist, counselor, and father of five - a book I would have enjoyed more about 2 years ago (while pregnant with my first). General and encouraging, conservative but not dogmatic, I would probably recommend it for someone who wants an overview on how to enter parenthood but isn't yet asking for lots of detailed, practical info. I don't necessarily agree with everything he says, but I don't disagree strongly either, and his tone seemed gentle enough that I was willing to consider his opinions. Not much (if any) explicit Christian content but I don't remember anything contrary to biblical principles either. I enjoyed the unabridged audio -- read by Chris Fabry and only 6 discs.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I'd found time to sit down with this book. My daughter is one now, but some of the information from the first half of the book would have been helpful and reassuring in the very beginning stages of her life. I found the information about birth order to be very informative and spot-on when thinking of people I know in real life.

The second half of the book seemed really preachy and there were a few pieces of advice I won't be taking because they go against my philosophy as a parent.

Overall, I liked that the book was presented in a straightforward, easy to read manner. Dr. Leman is a psychologist and father of 5 so there's no doubt that he knows at least a little bit of what he's talking about.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had so much help from reading this book and another of his called "making children mind without losing yours". Kevin leman is hilarious and point blank all at once. His ideas of not catering to your kids but letting them experience the consequences of their own choices was such a relief to a first time mom who had dysfunctional parents. I am grateful for the guidelines he gave on "pulling the rug out and let the little suckers tumble" I read this when my baby was a baby and he's six now. Big help! Excuse my lazy smartphone lack of punctuation and capitals on this review :-)

[Jane boutwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

the title seems kind of cheesy to me... but i thought it was a really helpful book for a broad overview of parenting biblically. i especially liked how he made a point of warning parents against 'how to' parenting books that gave a system that all parents should follow step by step. i think it is so tempting for first time parents to rely on a 'rule book' rather than their own intuition.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I do respect the fact that this guy has several children, and has written this book as a psychologist, parent, and practical advice giver. What made me roll my eyes throughout was the constant reference to Christianity and God and teaching one's child about such. Just give me your advice about babies without the religion, ok?

[Michelle Lagola · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for expecting moms. Not a bad idea for first-time dads to also read part or all of this book. I had a hard time seeing eye to eye on everything he said about moms and working, but, overall, the themes in this book seem like they are going to provide a good foundation for me as I start the journey of parenthood!

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really had high hopes for this book, especially with teaching me something new. I felt the book was very shallow, never really going in depth into any specific topic. I enjoyed how easy the book was to read but I sadly didn’t gain too much knowledge. There is a section in the book about going back to work or being a stay at home mom and although he stated that each family is different with their needs, he was biased and made those of us who returned to work feel like shit moms who live their kids less. He spoke about how important it is to sacrifice for the child- money vs time. Looking at this black and white it makes sense but both my parents worked and had money to make time and memories with us. Would a stay at home mom who spends time with her kids raise better children if they saw her stressed constantly about finances and how to pay the bills? To each their own

[Gabriela Über · Rating 1 out of 5]

O livro fala de ideias como mulher tem que casar virgem, parar de trabalhar para cuidar dos filhos e ter uma família grande, enquanto marido é o provedor e tratado como mero auxiliar da mulher para os cuidados com filho e casa. Além de explicar e expor muitas coisas sob a perspectiva de uma fé em Deus, mais especificamente um Deus cristão a quem se deve temer e obedecer. Livro conservador que ao invés de acrescentar conhecimento se baseia em ideias clichês, estigmatizadas e antiquadas.

[Katelyn Fugate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book while I was pregnant and skimmed it again after my son was born. It is great for large concepts when it comes to having a baby. Definitely helped me adjust my expectations closer to reality. His writing style takes a little while to get used to, I typically only read a chapter at a time.

[Jurene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book! It was empowering and informative. I may not agree with everything Dr. Kevin Leman said about the motivations children have, but I do agree with his logical and compassionate way of disciplining them.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not much here that you can't find in other, better parenting/baby books, except for the emphasis on the characteristics of first-borns. I suspect Dr. Layman's other books on that subject are better, though. Personally, I found the author's chummy tone very off-putting, too.

[Ruth Kyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great advice!

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good reminder not to go over the top raising first childs with all the anxieties of a first time parent and good insights into how to address discipline.

[Samantha Baker · Rating 1 out of 5]

Outdated, preachy and completely irrelevant to anyone in 2017.

[Jaqueline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leitura deliciosa e engraçada, para mãe de primeira viagem foi extremamente interessante.

[Bryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

We didn't finish. Felt like we weren't learning that much.

[Madelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of great, timely advice!!

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book written by a psychologist walks first-time moms through things to consider before and during pregnancy, through the first few days and weeks at home with baby, and beyond.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this up until the infant part when the twins were first born, and now that I am dealing with tantrums and power struggles, I thought I should re-read this book (and finish it this time) and see where I went wrong. It's pretty common sense. Nothing earth-shattering here and I am just happy that it was a super fast read. He kinda brags about his family and about how much money he has now, and that's a little off-putting, and in the beginning chapters I found his humor slightly condescending. But otherwise it's a cute book.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Kevin Leman's fun demeanor (I saw him first on a Buffalo morning TV interview) and it comes across clearly in this book. While I've already got 2 kids, this one touches on what makes the firstborn a different animal and I'm enjoying the read. Kind of wish I had the audiobook, though. With little ones, they are tons easier to have time for!

This was great start to finish and even though I had to read it in little bits between caring for my 4 yr old and 8 mo old, it was easy to get through. It's definitely becoming a baby shower go-to gift.

[Erika]

Source: Kristy Sterken
Response: Very easy read, and encouraging to just go with the flow and figure things out as they come. Kind of goofy, definitely slanted toward girl babies, lots of stereotypes about birth order, and lots of assumptions about what I’m going through. The chapter about sex really got me thinking and made me realize I’m probably not at a healthy enough place to be teaching about it right now. I hope God works on that with me before I have to have conversations with Rolland.

[Ashley M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked parts of this book in practical application and did not like other parts because they seemed relatively preachy. I think overall I benefitted from reading it and considering it all the way through, however, because knowing what I don't agree with when it comes to how I'd like to raise a child is just as important as having all the "right" answers. This was a nice introductory guide that made impending parenthood a little less scary.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a pretty good book with a little bit of insight toward what to expect in the next few years, but I didn't especially appreciate the Christian slant. Even though I relate to Christianity personally, I wouldn't have expected a best-selling psychologist author to throw prayer in as a bedtime routine or teaching your child that God is always watching as a form of discipline.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book, and I really liked it. I read through it pretty quickly, skipping over some of the parts about paretning younger babies (since mine is now 16 months old), then enjoyed the rest so much that I went back and read those parts anyways. I would really like to read more of this guys' books. However, it would probably be a yawn if you don't have a little kid.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though I didn't read this book before I had my firstborn, I still found it very helpful and educational. I learned things about birth order that I had never heard before, and the author gave simple tips on every basic issue you will encounter as a parent. I would recommend this book to expectant parents.

[Charity · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was pretty bad. Most of the advice was very general. I wouldn't classify it really as guidance, more like 'this is what my wife and I did, so you should do it this way, too'. Also, lots of religious nonsense thrown in. *sigh* Really couldn't recommend.

[Mindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was just OK. Most of the advice was pretty generalized and not has specific as I had hoped when I picked it up. I'm going to try some of Kevin Leman's other parenting books that sound like they go into more detail.

[Kaye · Rating 2 out of 5]

Small prescriptions of advice are buried within smug paragraphs which aren't very fun to read. I think Leman is on the right track (and he certainly tells you so on every page) but the style and format in which it is written is detrimental to any kind of pleasure.

[Rebecca Tredway · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the easiest to read, and most enjoyable, texts I've read on the first days of motherhood.

[Julie Abels · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be honest, I only read half of it and then returned it to it's owner. It's written to be read before you have your first baby...