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The Girl Who Couldn't Come
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The Girl Who Couldn't Come

4.03  ·  Rating details ·  451 Ratings  ·  55 Reviews
This is a book of dirty stories. They are weird and fun and often bewildering, like sex itself.
Paperback, 88 pages
Published February 1st 2011 by Createspace
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this is one of those books that is on the lower end of my three-star rating system. and it pains me to declare that, since i do loves me some joey comeau. but this is a collection of his sexxy stories, by which i of course mean his sexxy-gross stories, because this is joey comeau after all. and i'm just not into reading sexxy-gross stories, unless i am committed to laughing at them, like my forays into monsterporn. and i didn't want to laugh at these, because they weren't poorly written or stupi ...more
mark monday
"I want something from her, but I don't know what it is. I guess that means sex."
 photo BB_03_zpsd996e5a3.jpg

Butthead: We're going to be talking about the penis.*

Beavis: maybe, maybe not. The Girl Who Couldn't Come is a collection of short stories by Canadian author Joey Comeau. the goals of the collection appear to be the exploration of sex in all of its variations; how intimate and fluid spaces are created between lovers to allow the expression of sexuality in all of its potential strangeness; and most importantly, th
Mar 30, 2012 rated it it was amazing
If you were wondering, no, it's not necessarily weird to loan a book of dirty stories to a coworker. It depends on the coworker.

I am about to order my third copy because I keep loaning this out and not getting it back. I don't mind; it gives me an excuse to type tiny, creepy missives to Comeau in the "Order notes" field. Because I'm a ROMANTIC.

This review isn't very helpful, is it.
Ryan Bradford
Mar 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I've never read erotica, mostly because I have it in my mind that it's all sea-faring hunks and soft-core references to shafts and swords. Even Steve Almond's sex stories, although pretty good, often succumb to shock tactics without subtlety, or they just seem like boasting.

The Girl who Couldn't Come is a book of sex stories that are violent and complicated. Characters often act without motivation. Things get messy. This book is for weirdos--weirdos that cry, get hurt and don't really know why
Apr 27, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: canadian
you know that joke about how the faces men make during orgasm are god's practical joke, this book is like a longer version of that joke.
Theda Black
Jul 28, 2011 rated it it was ok
so far, the book is exactly what the description says it is. "This is a book of dirty stories. They are weird and fun and often bewildering, like sex itself."

My favorite so far has to be the one with the guy coming back for his girlfriend, having sex with her while doing some obsessive-compulsive counting. Short and sweet.

back to finish up the review. Sadly, the book didn't live up to my earlier expectations. There's a lot of wtf shittery going on, so much so that I can't grasp the point of it
Kit Goode
Mar 08, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: reviewed
Unfortunatly I chose to smoke a cigerette while I read The Girl Who Couldn't Come, which meant reading it on the street. This ignited panic in the local constabulary who came to investigate what a person could possibly be doing on the streets, smoking and reading like that, and when I was forced to tell them what I was reading, I was given an informal caution despite a somewhat half-hearted attempt to make out that the title referred to a missed dental appointment rather then anything, you know, ...more
Feb 04, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This is currently my favourite erotica book. The characters are crazy and insecure and unapologetically desirous of one another. The sex is often rough and desperate, but laced with tenderness. My favourite stories were “Edith” and “The Meteor Shower”.

“Everybody should be able to kill a man with just their thumb. We could be ready for anything. There are whole martial arts devoted to just disarming someone. Just disabling them and getting away, Clay tells me. He knows just what I want to hear.
Feb 27, 2011 added it
Shelves: read-in-2011
What the hell?
(That's a good reaction.)

Most of this collection of short stories I spent totally blushing then counting the pages because I didn't really want them to end because seriously, where could they POSSIBLY go that that they didn't already go? heh.

The description of the book is also the summary, much like it is for "Biblecamp Blood Bath." This one's is simply "This is a book of dirty stories. They are weird and fun and often bewildering, like sex itself." There is a lot going on in the
Mar 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Everyone who likes to be happy and isn't totally repressed? Wait, especially repressed people.
Recommended to Holly by: The internet?
I had read one or two of these stories online first, so I pretty much knew what I was getting into with this book, which is short stories where the action is sexual. They're not porn, precisely (although they're often pretty descriptive) because I wouldn't say the end effect was the same. They mostly all left me with a general sense of "well those people were just really happy with each other/themselves" which I enjoyed. Also, none of them were scary, and I was really worried that was going to h ...more
Christina Bialik
Oct 29, 2012 rated it really liked it
At the end, there's a count of dirty word frequency. "Generosity" is on the list, and that makes up for a few too many stories that take place in the dirt. Some of the stories are frightening, often rough, but tempered with tenderness. It's a book about a lot of sex. Once you get past that fact, it's just an interesting and quick read, with unconventional characters. Quirky, bizarre and worth it.
Nov 21, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book is about sex and relationships.
It's not sexy or romantic.
It's quirky and weird and real.
This book shows sex for what it is.
It shows how people are different and turned on by different things.
It's not one of my thousand romance novels where sex is the coming together of a great and powerful love.
It's people, doing what they lust.
María Lucía
didn't expect to get actually turned on by some of the stories.
that's a new low.
Feb 17, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Classic Joey stuff right here. Weird, violent, shocking, yet light and silly at the same time. Well maybe not at the exact same time.
Callie Tansill-Suddath
it's awkward and felt incomplete in a lot of places but it is also 80 pages of short smut stories by one of the creators of "a softer world" so i don't know what i expected
Chez Hilroy
Feb 05, 2014 rated it liked it
Say what you will, it's nice to see erotica written by someone you associate with a wildly different medium/subject. It's a surprising breath of fresh air.

Like I said, I only know Comeau from A Softer World, and to date these are still the only stories I've read from him. They're nicely written, not too flashy and very good at illustrating the ideas. And as erotica goes, they're quite sexy, too. Not just "porn-sexy", the kind of popcorn-butter thrills the word porn often conjures up, but reveli
Aussiescribbler Aussiescribbler
This collection of short stories deals with various kinds of sexual awkwardness. Although some of the stories are briefly explicit, it isn't particularly erotic. Most are written in the first person, with the narrators being sometimes male and sometimes female, which, at least once, caused me to have to re-orient my imagination as a character put their hand down their pants and found something different from what I was expecting.

The stories range from sweet (the girl who couldn't come, edith) to
Zoltán Kelemen
Dec 08, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I remember reading a good few chapters of this as a free preview sort of thing on the asw site.

I picked it up now, as I had some extra amazon credit, so I thought why not show some support to writes I actually like.

It's fun, sometimes in a bit nostalgic kind of way (am I getting old? or is it just my personal memories? anyway) but then again there's also the feeling of being a bit overdone by the time you get to the end of it. The same thing over and over again (well, just as sex feels sometimes
May 04, 2012 rated it really liked it
Via Lectus

This is a book of short sex stories that are... let’s say out of the ordinary. I am not into erotica but bought this one by mistake and, well, had to read it :-)

Some of the stories are raunchier than others and they definitely put you in the mood of getting some action going yourself. My favorite story was the second one, about a guy having sex with her girlfriend while obsessively doing some counting.

If you are not a fan or erotica do not read this book because it is all about sex.
Mar 22, 2011 rated it really liked it
For a very long time I avoided sexytimes in books. I wasn't a stereotypical undersexed housewife so I didn't need to spend my time on stupid Harlequin romances. (I'm still not and still don't.) And isn't writing about sex like doing math about a sunset or something? But Joey Comeau's book of sexy short stories, The Girl Who Couldn't Come, is pretty great and he brought me around to the world of non-degrading/non-stupid sex fiction.

Read More:
Emily Rhoads
Oct 17, 2011 rated it it was ok
I'm all for erotica. I have no problem with it. But this is basically smut. I really enjoy Joey Comeau's writing and don't get me wrong, I'm no prude... but this was smut for the sake of being shocking and weird for the sake of being weird. I enjoyed the title story and there were a few others that I didn't mind reading, but for the most part they just made me uncomfortable and not in the good ways.

This books teaches me how NOT to write a sex scene. Comeau seems proud of his use of shocking lang
Kate O'Hanlon
There is an adorable sketch of Joey drawn by Kate Beaton in the back of this. That alone makes this collection worth the money.
As for the rest... how do you review a book of dirty stories whose intention does not always seem to be arousal? The back cover says,
This is a book of dirty stories.
They are weird and fun and often bewildering, like sex itself.

I'm not sure I can add much to this other than to emphasise bewildering and say that this collection also contains a surprising amount about math
Tobias Langhoff
Dec 29, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: short-stories
In this collection of erotic short stories, Joey Comeau once again shows that he’s one of the best contemporary short fiction writers, although a few of the stories here were a little too obtuse/vague/abstract (not sure which) for me. Even for him, this was a bunch of very sexually explicit stories, bordering on pornographic. There’s heterosexual sex with both male and female main characters and homosexual sex also with males and females, and perhaps a few too many stories about fetishes that ar ...more
Laura Wallace
May 02, 2013 rated it it was amazing
there is just no one who uses words or thinks thoughts like Joey Comeau. as somebody on Autostraddle once wrote, Comeau's writing is queer in every sense of the word. I like A Softer World, but I think he's even better at longer-form writing. you could think of this book as erotica, maybe, in that all the stories have sex in them. but they also have math and drama and tension and office supply stores and meteor showers and juvenile delinquents. oh, and time travelling to try to seduce Patricia H ...more
Jan 24, 2012 rated it really liked it
Joey Comeau is not my favourite author at random. He is a wizard. His words give me so much hope : that I'm not alone & a better world is out there. The Girl Who Couldn't Come not only was fascinating and slightly disturbing in a good way, but also made me feel better about myself at a weird time in my life. His books always have impact and this one was no different. I recommend it as sexy and intelligent, puzzling read.
Bud Mallar
My first Joey Comeau and maybe my last.

Nothing wrong with good erotica, but just is mostly just a very short collection of very strange sex fantasies - or else from a very warped mind, with just enough of real life and possibilities to make it seem 'real'.

Perhaps we all wander out to the edge once in while - life would be boring if we didn't.

But if the purpose was to get me 'in the mood' it failed.
Ioana Fotache
Sep 10, 2014 rated it liked it
The Girl Who Couldn't Come (the short story, not the book) is the sexiest thing I've ever read, but the anthology disappoints me overall. It's a collection of excerpts; smutty, sexy, comeau-ish excerpts from someone strange people's sex lives, and it's cool if you're into that, but I wish they had a bit more context around them. Short and sweet is one thing, but I think that most stories here end way too abruptly.
Apr 29, 2011 rated it really liked it
I have read and will continue to read everything by Joey Comeau. While not all the stories in this book were consistently great, he always manages to pull it back with a stellar moment like with the story "The Meteor," which moved me to the point where I had to take a couple minutes, just to process. Well done, Joey Comeau, AGAIN.
Aug 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: short-stories, horror
I'm usually not an erotica fan at all. Actually, I pretty frequently skip over sex scenes. I still loved this. The stories are all delightfully different that I was hooked the entire time. I was reading an e-book, and I was absolutely disappointed when I realized it was over. I flew through it, and I was ready for more.
Jan 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Yes, it's a book of smut. But it's also creepy, exhilarating, weird, thought-provoking, beautiful, touching: much like JC's 'a softer world' comic.
This is what I hoped JG Ballard's 'Crash' would be, so glad not to be disappointed this time.
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Joey Comeau is a Canadian writer. He is best known for his novels Lockpick Pornography and Overqualified, and as co-creator of the webcomic A Softer World (with Emily Horne).

Comeau currently resides in Toronto, Ontario. He has a degree in linguistics.
More about Joey Comeau

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“I live to feel her fingers move inside of me like this. The bus
makes another stop. A fat man climbs aboard, hauling himself up the stairs. I would kill him for one more moment with her fingers inside me. I don’t have to. She gives me my moment for free. He lives because of her generosity. We all live because of her generosity.”
“There is no subtle way to mention you miss the curve of someone’s ass. ” 4 likes
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