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Dead Men Don't Wash
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Dead Men Don't Wash

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3.2  ·  Rating details ·  81 Ratings  ·  24 Reviews
Written as part of Kris 'n' Good Books' 'choose your own m/m story' challenge. This is now hosted by Goodreads' M/M Romance Group.

The story prompts for the author were:
1. part of the setting ~ a public swimming pool in a small country town
2. some background to one of the main protags ~ one of them is a wereoctopus
3. another character/s ~ an amateur private detective who
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ebook, 28 pages
Published February 2011

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Mandy*reads obsessively*
Crazy, imaginative, free !
A were-octopus having sort of shifter sex, Sherlock Holmes, dead men soap, karaoke, and a ménage, all in one story!
Oh, and I forgot the vampire ! LOL
Kade Boehme
I had to! I couldnt resist. And I laughed through every minute. It was definitely fun... and I refuse to say anything else about it. Let's not act like this was meant to be a serious read. It was a dare and bravo Ally Blue! BAHAHA! Yeah... I needed a little octopus tentacle double penetration in my life. I refuse to rate this story... but I stand by that 20 minutes of laughing out loud that's getting me quite a few stares.
Kelly H. (Maybedog)
I liked the idea of this but I felt the story couldn't decide whether to lampoon shape-shifting and M/M erotica or take itself seriously. Some of the dialog and events were just ridiculously silly. The sex was okay but I had a hard time picturing it and frankly, something going in the urethra doesn't sound erotic, it sounds painful.

But I have to say, having read a book with octopus sex actually came in handy on Christmas. We were playing a silly, raunchy, adult game and somehow marine animal sex
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Fangtasia
Mar 16, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Sheer craziness! Only a talent like Ms. Blue's could come up with a story that made even kind of sense with those story prompts.
Ayanna
Jan 14, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: reviewed
A fun, rather inane little read. I didn't like the vagueness in some of the parts, but other than that, it was enjoyable.
Chris
Feb 13, 2011 rated it really liked it
Completely insane (and fun!) short paranormal m/m romance about an octopus shifter and his soap thief lover.
Lily
A cute, fun read. Who knew tentacles could be sexy?
Valerie Hayne
Dec 10, 2011 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Amantes de lo bizarro
Shelves: sobrenatural, m-m, 2011
Recomendada por Goodreads, esta es una buena historia corta, bizarramente divertida e interesante; con personajes que se salen de su esquema - un cambiaformas, un ladrón-compulsivo-de-jabón y un detective que dice ser Sherlock Holmes. - Es una lectura rápida y un escape de otras más intensas.

Ally Blue es una escritora del género homosexual que yo no conocía - conozco muy pocas, lo admito. - Que me haya saltado en las recomendaciones de Goodreads fue una deliciosa sorpresa porque tiene una intere
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Driima
This was… something else… not exactly sure what, but definitely different and kind of entertaining. I'm just no sure, if I really LIKED it… I sure did not dislike it, but…
I'm normally not a great fan of tentacle sex (can read it, don't love it), but in this case I didn't mind. The story was kind of funny in a very absurd way. One doesn't encounter an octopus-shifter every day, and the dialogue was witty enough, so all things considered - a funny, silly little shortstory, that made me smile.
Also
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Kendra T
Feb 26, 2012 rated it it was ok
Recommended to Kendra by: BTina
OK. This wasn't my cup of tea but I do have to say that it was well written and definitely met the prompts given. The wereoctopus sex was very odd-couldn't get into that. The soap thief story line was funny but odd. And I could have lived without a threesome as it seemed out of place.
Neyjour
This was a wonderfully bizarre little short story (and it's free!), with a soap thief, a private detective who thinks he's Sherlock Holmes, a shape-shifting octopus, and some really hot kinky tentacle sex. Oh, and Madonna's pubic hair as well. Ewww! LOL! :D
 Sara
Oh, my god, it was so bad it was good. I can't believe I spnet the, what, 20 minutes? it took to read this. Octopus shifters, tentacle sex, sounding, menage, Sherlock Holmes, a vampire, a dead husband turned into soap, karaoke, it was astounding.
Jennifer
May 09, 2015 rated it it was ok
This is seriously weird.
Monika
This was the strangest, craziest and most bizarre short, it had me laughing at the silliness of it all.
Beth
Jul 10, 2013 rated it liked it
Um...I liked it. Laughed, did a double-take a couple times early on. Really wish there had been an epilogue with the sex that they were on their way home to have at the end of the story. :)
Syfy
Sep 04, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: m-m-m, m-m-pnr, humor
... can't catch my breath, still giggling....
Jessica  `~Blahyze~`
Apr 24, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: ebooks
It's nice to read something that has a rather original storyline. A thief who is obsessed with collecting soap! That was hilarious. A great little short read.
Sadonna
Apr 10, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: free, mm
Funny little free Valentine's freebie.
Lucy
Feb 13, 2011 rated it liked it
It was so odd at parts it made me cringe or laugh out loud, but interesting. Could have done without Sherlock Holmes in a threesome with Luc and Kermit, but....
Staceyr
Feb 13, 2011 rated it really liked it
Well that was...bizarrely interesting. LOL
Michael
3.5 Stars. Very short but funny. Kermit was a hoot!!
Ashley
Jul 10, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: m-m, 4-stars
Fun sweet and wiggly ^_^
Suz
rated it liked it
Oct 16, 2016
Erin
rated it it was ok
Mar 08, 2014
Andrea
rated it it was ok
Jun 23, 2013
Dani Batth
rated it it was amazing
Mar 12, 2012
Maca Bruno
rated it it was amazing
Dec 23, 2016
Melissa
rated it it was ok
Jan 11, 2015
Jason Bradley
rated it really liked it
Feb 13, 2011
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34997
Ally Blue penned her first tale at age eight, relating the breathless terror of her little sister’s not-quite-fatal encounter with a bee in the backyard. That was the beginning of a lifelong love affair with storytelling. She now writes gay romance of all flavors, and has recently branched into writing her first love: horror. She continues her neverending quest to scare herself. She is not a hippi ...more
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