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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

3.75  ·  Rating details ·  44,819 ratings  ·  1,651 reviews
"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allow
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Hardcover, 292 pages
Published May 10th 2011 by Grand Central Publishing
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3.75  · 
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 ·  44,819 ratings  ·  1,651 reviews


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suzannarama
Jan 22, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobooks
Nothing screams, "Third in a three-book contract!" quite like Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me. In fact, it goes on to say, "Oh, shit! I'm three weeks over deadline and I still haven't written a word! I don't have time to write another book. I know! I'll let my friends write it for me! They should have enough to say about me to fill a whole book, right? No? Well, let me check my email, and see what else I can find."

The book starts out well enough (despite the obvious cop-out of not actually hav
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Natalie (Natflix&Books)
I'm glad I'm not friends with Chelsea Handler. People who raved about this book may say that I have no sense of humor, but I wonder what is funny about your friend ruining the song you are singing to your brand new husband during your wedding reception, regardless if you can hold a tune or not; making you believe that you are being sued and probably fired for sexual harassement thus ruining your future; spoiling your honeymoon; forging emails to your friends and family that you are pregnant (whe ...more
Dani Peloquin
While it is not exactly an enormous feat to read all of Chelsea's books, I feel as if I have come to know her over the years through her essays and memoirs. When this book came out, I was a bit leery. Though it's about Chelsea (who is almost always funny), it wasn't written by her and therefore I was suspect. Still, I had read all of her previous books and was in a serious Handler drought so I decided to take a chance. I was disappointed. While I chuckled a few times and smiled every couple of c ...more
Samantha A
My main, conclusive thought about this audio book? Chelsea is an asshole.

This book was a collection of stories from Chelsea's friends and family, about all of the times she has terrorized them and basically ruined their lives.

Chelsea does not play practical jokes, these are long, drawn out spectacles that usually leave the recipient in tears or a panic attack or on the verge of a stress induced stroke. Her "jokes" are complete reputation ruiners. It is not funny. I was left cringing most of the
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Samantha
Jul 30, 2011 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Listened to this while driving from Minnesota to Chicago. This is a compilation of multiple people from Chelsea Handler's life writing about the practical jokes she plays on them. The bad part is that it is also read by the people who wrote each chapter. Some of the people reading their chapter were really great, others were awful or just plain annoying.

Aside from the actual readings, I didn't really enjoy the book. It was like listening to Punk'd but without Ashton Kutcher. Just couldn't get in
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Paula
Dec 05, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I liked Chelsea's book, my horizontal life, but this one falls flat. I’m embarrassed for her. I was hoping for a list of clever pranks and instead what you find is a series of dumb lies and uncomfortable insight into who she is and the relationships with people around her.

Its a collection of stories that illustrate how irredeemably F*%$ed up in the head the whole group is. And not in a funny way- in a very sad co-dependent abusive unpleasant way.

I used to think she was a talented businesswoman a
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Alyssa Lieberman
As with every other book I have had the pleasure to read by Chelsea Handler, “Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me” left me with a red, tear streaked face, an aching diaphragm, and little respect for the outrageous comedian. I laughed the entire way through, even though this time I was not surprised at any of the ridiculous stories I read. This is perhaps because I feel like I have come to know Chelsea personally after reading several of her hilarious memoirs and essays. “Essays” may not be the mos ...more
Bookstax
Turns out a book of "humorous" stories told by people who seem to need to be friends with any celebrity isn't interesting. Who could have imagined that! This book was a new low in the "crap I choose to listen to in my car" category. Listening to this book did reaffirm that my initial thoughts that Chelsea Handler was not only under-talented, but that she also got where she was by sleeping with the right people are completely true. Now, though, I know even more about her than I ever wanted to, an ...more
Kim
Oct 10, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book will make you very, very glad you are not friends with and do not work for Chelsea Handler. Unless you like your weekends, honeymoons, and general everyday life ruined by her ridiculous and often weirdly cruel practical jokes. That said, her friends and co-workers seem incredibly gullible, so the book could also make you feel quite savvy and clever. Also, she and her friends and co-workers seem deeply immature--often in fun ways, but also really problematic ways, so the book could make ...more
Josh
May 10, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Mostly I just want to do what she's done. She clearly believes in herself like no one's business and is kind of a comedic genius. The book may have been funnier had she written it, rather than have her social circle recount (brilliant) tricks she's played on them. But whatever, it's damn funny. The bitch is kind of fierce.
Cassie
Feb 24, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I have this love/hate relationship with Chelsea Handler, and this book perfectly illustrated my hate. Not sure why’s she has friends in the first place, she seems like the worst friend in the world.

But I still find her hilarious, what is this!! She’s just so rude and awful but makes it funny. Damn you Chelsea.

This book sucked though, 1.5 stars
Judy
Jun 29, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book has absolutely no socially redeeming feature, so naturally, I really liked it. Chelsea Handler spends much of her time creating practical jokes with which to bedevil her friends. The rule seems to be that if she decides to make you a victim of her demonic humor, it's a sign of her love and respect. Unfortunately, I share this worldview which might be the reason that Chelsea Handler is one of my guilty pleasures. If I like you, I'm all over you, if I don't like you, I can't be bothered. ...more
Melissa T
I'm rating this book as amazing not because it has any deep insights, trust me, it couldn't if it tried. But because it is absolutely hilarious. I laughed for extended periods multiple times while reading this. Some of the pranks she pulls are just too out there, but it's nice to know that she cares about her friends and family enough to inject that amount of humor into their lives. They may not always appreciate it at the time (I'm sure I wouldn't either) but it's nice to have that sort of thin ...more
Renee
Jun 09, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Now this is the way to write a book: have your friends, staff and family tell very funny stories about you, or involving you; add a few comments at the end of each story, and cha-ching wait for the cash to role in! I gave this book three stars just for the genius of the idea!

In a nut shell this book is about the elaborate practical jokes Chelsea has been playing on her family and friends for decades. These pranks are deliciously malevolent but always hilarious. She is definitely a person that y
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Peebee
Nov 04, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I can't get away with telling lies, even in pursuit of a practical joke. It's not how I was raised, and I can't keep a straight face or be creative enough to pull it off. But if I could, I'd aspire to be Chelsea Handler. She's crude, she's brilliant, and she's hilarious. Throughout reading this book, I kept shaking my head in admiration of her creative brilliance, and I was very, very thankful I don't work for her. If you like Chelsea at all (and I can understand how she's not everyone's cup of ...more
Kevin
May 13, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ibook
'My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.'. Chelsea Handler

Chelsea's family and friends share lies and practical jokes perpetrated by Chelsea.

Crass, edgy, foul mouthed and R-rated...with moments of hold your sides hilarity.

"I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him,
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Lisa
Jun 03, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Some of the stories were funnier/more concise than others but overall it was a very entertaining read. My advice to future readers is don't get too wrapped up in the first story. It definitely gets better and more hilarious.
Brittany (brittanymariereads) E.
I absolutely love Chelsea Handler! This book just needed more of her. It was primarily from the point of view from Chelsea's friends and family. The humor level just wasn't on par with her other books.
Josie
May 15, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition


I think Chelsea should be my new best friend!
Amber
Aug 08, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I couldn’t actually finish this. I felt my brain cells dying in agony each time I listened to it.
Krissie
Aug 20, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
Horrible.
Agnes
Aug 22, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: unfinished
Not a funny book unless you enjoy reading about others being embarrassingly pranked and taking it
Ashley Mackler-Paternostro
I've read all of Chelsea's other books. Loved them. They are all laugh-out-loud books. Chelsea manages to get herself into some seriously bazaar situations, and her quick wit seems to always be her saving grace. If you've ever wondered how or why "all" that seems to pile down on this one woman, after reading this book, you'll wonder no more...she welcomes crazy in and then full on embraces it.

This book is written by the people who fill Handler's day, not by Handler herself--which, of course-- y
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Kerry
Oct 24, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: my-books
Well... the title of this book is true for the reader as well. Basically Chelsea Handler is a genius and I say that bc she had her minions that work for her write a story of an epic time filled with vodka, drugs, possibly feces and general tomfoolery that showcases how much Handler loves lying to the masses for her own general amusement.

Hey... I'm not knocking the boots on Handler here... she essentially had everyone else do the work on this book, slapped her name on it and laughed her way to t
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Pam
Jun 27, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook
I have watched Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately, and I have read "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea?", so I had an inkling of what to expect from "Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me." But it was even better then I expected.

This book is written by friends and colleagues of Chelsea, and it is basically their stories of her pranks and lies to them. You see, Chelsea loves to lie and she loves to pull pranks, and the two go hand in hand. I can see why she loves to lie, she is fabulous at it! As e
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Stevie
Feb 05, 2013 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
after 1.5 chapters: It is making me LMAO, so far
"Yippee Kiyay, Mr. Falcon!"
… at first it was ok and moderately amusing … then it was just something I needed to get through. I mean, it was totally ok, and parts of it are pretty funny. She is mean, though -- or her friends are really stupid, especially the one who changed his honeymoon based on some prank she pulled..... and some of those women seem like airheads. All of the readers are pretty annoying except her siblings – their voices aren’t as
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Katie
Aug 14, 2011 rated it it was amazing
This is one of those books that you pick up just knowing it's going to be good and it doesn't disapoint. If you're a Chelsea Handler fan or have enjoyed any of her other books, then you'll like this one too. This book, unlike her others is written by her family, friends and victimes of the lies and pranks she has pulled on all of them. It's crazy how a. inventive b. creative c. serious and d. careless she is about the lies she tells and the emotions she tears to shreads. But almost all of the co ...more
Bridget
Jan 31, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I have mixed feelings about this book. At first I thought Chelsea was really mean to her friends. I wouldn't want to be friends with her, not that she would want to be friends with me. The reoccurring theme throughout the book is that Chelsea plays practical jokes on her friends, if she doesn't humiliate you that means she doesn't love you. She also is extremely loyal to these friends that she humiliates on a daily basis and buys them great presents/trips. I liked that each chapter was written ...more
Christopher Quintana
Hilarious. Good-spirited. Laugh evoking. "Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me" is once again a great, quick read. The book is broken down into various chapters, each written by a different person as they share some of their most memorable stories with Handler - or at least the most memorable where she pranked them. The authors range from television personality Heather McDonald to her brother Greg, the whole book is very personal and relatable to its readers. This isn't a book you read for substanc ...more
kelsey
Oct 08, 2011 rated it it was ok
Maybe it's because I had such high expectations of a book from Chelsea Handler. Maybe it's because I had read the amazingly funny "Bossypants" right before it. Or maybe not all of Chelsea Handler's friends should be able to write a chapter in a book. Whatever it was, this book simply wasn't up to par by Handler standards.

We get it. Chelsea Handler acts like a 7 year old boy with boobs. She likes to play pranks (some of which are painfully stupid - yet people fall for them), but she only messes
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Aiossa's Senior 5...: Book Review #4 Allison Osborne 1 5 Dec 18, 2012 07:29PM  
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Chelsea Handler has become one of entertainment’s most sought after and versatile rising stars. In July 2007, Chelsea broke into the world of late-night talk shows with her E! Entertainment series, Chelsea Lately (airing weeknights at 11:00 p.m.). Consistently the network’s highest-rated program, Chelsea Lately offers a tongue-in-cheek look at entertainment news, celebrity truths, and rumors that ...more
“Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.” 2155 likes
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