St. Patrick's Day: Some Fictional Alternatives to Green Beer

Posted by Cybil on March 16, 2017
Ready to "drown the shamrock" this St. Patrick's Day? Goodreads is here for you: We've compiled a list of more delicious alternatives to green beer, with one wee caveat—these special drinks and cocktails began as fictional libations.

Please share your own favorites! Which drink do you most wish were real or which have you actually found in real life (we know some butterbeer aficionados out there)? Share your best recipe guesses in the comments!

GREEN SWIZZLE
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"The Rummy Affair of Old Biffy," collected in Carry on, Jeeves
by P.G. Wodehouse

It's still green! Bertie Wooster himself declares of this Wodehousian version of a Caribbean rum swizzle,"...if ever I marry and have a son, Green Swizzle Wooster is the name that will go down in the register." Some sources report that Wodehouse did not invent this himself, but no doubt he had his own twist.


PAN GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTER
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
by Douglas Adams

Dubbed "the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging" and "the best drink in existence," a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster should be consumed with caution: Drinking one is "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." Adams helpfully provided a recipe, but you might have trouble finding all of the ingredients (Fallian marsh gas, the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger...).


GINGER SCALD
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The Lies of Locke Lamora
by Scott Lynch

With hints of pear and radishes, this unusual drink is finished by plunging a red-hot poker into the liquid. Locke describes "when the cold burn of the ginger scald hit his lips (limning every tiny crack with stinging heat, and outlining every crevice between teeth and gums in exquisite pain...)" Yum! Goodreads Author and food blogger Chelsea Monroe-Cassel offers an excellent recipe, complete with hot-poker handling instructions!


END OF THE WORLD DELIGHT
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Cat's Cradle
by Kurt Vonnegut

A darker take on a green drink, as befitting Kurt Vonnegut. "He wanted me to give him a drink on account of the world was coming to an end. So I mixed him an 'End of the World Delight.' I gave him about a half-pint of crème de menthe in a hollowed-out pineapple, with whipped cream and a cherry on top."


BUTTERBEER
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Harry Potter Series
by J.K. Rowling

Allegedly slightly alcoholic, this wizarding favorite can be served hot or cold, and J.K. Rowling says, "I imagine it to taste a little bit like less-sickly butterscotch." For the launch of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park, Chef Steven Jayson spent three years perfecting an official butterbeer recipe, which is unfortunately classified!


SCUMBLE
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Discworld Series
by Terry Pratchett

Raise a glass full of Discworld apple-based moonshine in memory of Sir Terry Pratchett. "A lot of stories are told about scumble, and how it is made out on the damp marshes, according to ancient recipes passed down rather unsteadily from father to son. It's not true about the rats, or the snakes' heads, or the lead shot. The one about the dead sheep is a complete fabrication. We can lay to rest all the variants of the one about the trouser button. But the one about not letting it come into contact with metal is absolutely true..." You can try some fan recipes here and here, or even buy an officially licensed version!


SPICE BEER
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Dune Chronicles
by Frank Herbert

If you're not up for dodging monster sandworms to harvest spice, the most coveted substance in Herbert's universe, you'll have to learn how to brew your own cinnamon-infused ale, a "fermented substance called 'spice beer,' potent and pungent with a strong cinnamon bite at the back of his throat. [Keedair] found the drink exhilarating and ordered a second" (from The Butlerian Jihad).


GRAF
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The Dark Tower Series
by Stephen King

Perhaps a close cousin of Pratchett's scumble, this apple beer is the drink of choice in Stephen King's Mid-World. Lots of homebrewing fans have tried their versions, ranging from hard apple cider to dark malt, including this one with full video instructions!


What literary-inspired drinks will you be imbibing on St. Paddy's? And if you need more real-world guidance, try these Listopias: Best Cocktails and Best Home Brewing Books.

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Comments Showing 1-6 of 6 (6 new)

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message 1: by Hari (new)

Hari Brandl Douglas Adams also describes a "Ouizgianzoda" (sp?) in the "Hitchhiker"s Guide" which sounds intriguing to a hip cat like me.


message 2: by MRNJ (new)

MRNJ Another one is the giants' drink in the BFG by Roald Dahl. I forgot what it's called. The bubbles go down instead of up.


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

MRNJ wrote: "Another one is the giants' drink in the BFG by Roald Dahl. I forgot what it's called. The bubbles go down instead of up."

Its called frobscottle


message 4: by MRNJ (new)

MRNJ Benjamin wrote: "MRNJ wrote: "Another one is the giants' drink in the BFG by Roald Dahl. I forgot what it's called. The bubbles go down instead of up."

Its called frobscottle"


Ah - thank you. It has been many years since I read that book.


message 5: by Ulla (new)

Ulla My drink of choice is certainly Fire Lemon from Ashley Capes' The Bone Mask Trilogy which I'm rereading just now. First Book of the series: City of Masks. Highly imaginative and exciting fantasy epic. I recommend!


message 6: by Adriana (new)

Adriana Rylee I have always dreamed to taste the BUTTERBEER. Harry Potter is the best book and movie I have ever seen. And such things always back you to your childhood. I've graduated from the college, I'm a serious worker at the trustmypaper.com/, but still I can't forget those days when I could just open this book and forget about the reality.19


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