I’m reading this book at the moment because it’s scores an A+ on...

I’m reading this book at the moment because it’s scores an A+ on the diversity exams. Black main protagonist, disability/disorder, bisexuality. It also showed up on a list with a bunch of other books I’d read recently and loved, so when I found it at my library on the weekend, I was ecstatic. 

And now I’m reading it in little doses. Because, although the main story is about a bisexual girl who wants to get out of Nebraska being bullied by her lesbian support/friendship group at school for suddenly going and daring to date a boy, a big part of her identity is anorexia.

And man the depictions of being anorexic, and the mindsets you get pulled into are graphic. And when I say ‘graphic’, I mean ‘accurate as FUCK’.  Not just that, but she’s not “as bad” as one of the other characters, so there’s also her personal analysis on how she’s not a “real anorexic” because hell at least she eats. 

And I’m just like feeling guilty for eating and also feeling so. damned. glad. that I can again. 

So, it’s challenging. And, in a way, I’m disappointed because it’s not as well written as The Fault in Our Stars, which is forever my best go-to on challenging texts, but I don’t feel the same need to keep reading. I mean, I will. It’s an important narrative in its own right. But reading something challenging kind of makes you want to have just as compelling a reason in the other direction to really keep going.