Immortality

I’m going to need all my favorite celebrities to stop dying for a little while, okay? Thank you.

You know when it’s really going to be a blow? When Keith Richards dies. Because you’ve gotten so used to Keith Richards still kicking around while much younger, cleaner-living celebs slip their mortal coils, that it’s become a punchline. Keith Richards and roach bugs will be the only things to survive the nuclear winter. So, when he goes? THAT is when we’re all going to feel our mortality.

As long...