This Side of Heaven

Words always seem to fail me when I think of you. I inevitably find my only expression with tears as memories well up from somewhere deep inside, threatening to overwhelm me. I don’t know how to let you go. Even after all this time, you linger like a fragrance upon my soul. Why is it I don’t know how to unleash this torrent, this river of grief still lingering in my heart? Where’s the plug that I can pull? Where’s the tap I can turn to stop more pain filling up my heart? Where’s the understanding everyone promised me would come with time?

Where is it when I need it most, in this dark, lonely place.

Lost in thought, waiting for you.

You, like some dark shadow wait in the back of my mind, waiting to be found, waiting to be brought back into the light once again. And still I burn with something left unspoken. A final word left hanging in the air, a thread of memory, leading back down through time and space, to you.

Never again will I touch your skin, caress your sweet lips with mine. Never again will I breath in the scent of your soft, warm skin, as we lie entwined body moulded to body.

My heart breaks to know I will never find you again, this side of heaven.