The Razor-Edged Art of Reviewing

Hello, everyone!

First, a happy announcement. My short story "Forever Now" was accepted for publication by Fireside Magazine. Fireside is a really great market that supports writers as well as putting out a great project, so check them out.

Now onto the meat of the post. Sharp-eyed observers might note I haven't written a lot of reviews. They might be thinking: "What kind of writer is this, who can barely be bothered to read?" Some may have even noticed I've been reading Outlander for over a month.

Well, I actually have read a lot more books than I've reviewed, or even rated. And, uh, the Outlander thing? Sorry, I've discovered Dragon Age: Inquisition. I'm sure there'll eventually come an era when I spend my time reading again, instead of playing it.

Nut the main reason I haven't posted many reviews is that they take time. A well thought-out, articulate review is something of an art form. Even posting a few lines of critique often seems to take more effort than I really wish to extend.

And so, I would like to take this post to thank the unsung heroes of the reading world: the reviewers.

Most writers have a love/hate relationship with reviews. That is, we love the good ones and hate the bad ones. The advice I've most often seen is to ignore reviews entirely, which always makes me laugh, because I don't know a single writer who follows this advice. I'd bet even Stephen King takes a glance at his ratings.

So, what can we do about reviews, both as readers and as writers? For me, as a reader, reviews are a tool to help me decide if I want to make a purchase. This is probably their truest purpose, but I'd be lying if I didn't add that I enjoy reading really snarky criticisms of books people didn't like. Hey, I'm a MST3K-er at heart. But do note that I do not necessarily equate "bad review" with "bad book." That's because I'm looking for a tag to take me into the second part of this post: writers and reviews.

The dirty fact is, all writers crave five star reviews. We'll be humble and say it's because we like knowing we brought pleasure to our readers--and we're not lying. We're just not telling the whole truth. We're human; we crave vindication. We want great--no, sterling--reviews, awards, and many sales. We want to tattoo "GREATEST WRITER EVAH!!!" on our buttocks and have an excuse to drop our pants and show it off at parties.

But we're not going to get it. Let's not go into the whole "no piece of art is perfect" shtick, because that's not what this post is about. Some people are simply not going to appreciate your writing.

And that's their perfect right.

Some people simply do not believe in handing out five star reviews, on the theory that no work is perfect.

And that's their perfect right.

Some reviewers will perhaps post a review consisting of the single word "blarf," or just post a gif of a cat barfing up a hairball.

And that's their perfect right.

Look, I know it hurts, but I too have been disappointed by books. I too have spent hours reading something that I thought initially I was going to enjoy that, in the end, made me want to kick in a wall and disdain the English language for the next thousand years. We've all been there.

So reviewers have the right to vent. You response as a writer? Nod and stay silent. Yes, even if a reviewer says you must be an idiot. Even if they insult your physical appearance. Nod and stay silent. The only time you are allowed to take note of a reviewer is if they make personal threats against you. I think we can all agree that that's something which should not be done.

But while you're nodding and staying silent, trust your reviewers. Really. They police their own. If they think a review is overly harsh, or adds nothing, they'll call their fellow reviewers out on it. And even if you get one of those snarky one-star reviews, it means you moved someone to feel something; moved them enough to take the time to write about you.

And that's really what this is about: being thankful that someone gave you their time. As my record here on Goodreads too plainly states, it's something I often can't do myself. The lure of Dragon Age, you know.

So, again, this post is a heartfelt thanks to all those who take the time to review from THE BEST WRITER EVAH!!!

Want to see my tattoo?