Last Meal Stuffing

 

Introduction to Stuffing circa a long-time-ago

You know that sick game one plays: “If you were on death row, what would be your

last meal?” Mine would be stuffing. Not just any stuffing. This stuffing. Originally

made by my Grandma Millie, and passed to her daughter-in-law (my mother) to

me, to my sister, and now to my children. And you.

There have been many changes over the years. The original recipe had the now-discontinued Uneeda Biscuits, for which we still mourn. My sister Jill adds garlic (what!).

This is as close as I can come to giving this recipe—as it has always been a trial, error, see-how-it-tastes-raw and then cook-it-when-it’s ready sort of food.

Preheat oven to 350°.

I don’t stuff the bird, but you can. I prefer baked stuffing. As you can see, this is the most casual and forgiving of recipes. Close as I can come to amounts are:

A bag or two of Goya crackers.

A dozen small Bertucci rolls, or 6 large crispy rolls. (Buy ahead and let get stale. Toast in oven if you forgot to make them stale.)

Break crackers and rolls into small (but not teensy) pieces.

Soak crackers and rolls in warmed milk. (Enough to cover, but not overwhelm. You want the milk to soften the carbs, but not drown them.)

Beat about 5-8 eggs (or more, depending on how ‘eggy’ you like your stuffing)

A bag of carrots (or more, depending on your taste), shredded

One or two large onions (or more, depending on your taste)

5-8 stalks of celery (or more, depending on your taste)

1-3 boxes of sliced mushrooms, depending on how much you like mushrooms

Melt lots of butter in largest skillet or sauté pan you have. Add onions, sauté for a bit. Add all other vegetables and sauté until soft. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Squeeze leftover milk from crackers (or add more if they seem too hard). Mix in vegetables and butter. Pat into baking dishes and bake until top seems crunchy (about an hour, sometimes less).

This recipe calls for the ability to play and taste as you mix, sauté, and cook. Uncooked it should be heavy and soggy, but not wet. Baked, it should be crunchy in places, soft in others, buttery, and, if you are a carb lover, you should find it almost impossible to stop eating.