Stick an onion in your ear and put your bottom in the air

Have you ever heard of these remedies for Tinnitus?

I’ve been busy looking for a remedy for the constant ringing in my ears and decided to do as you do and google them. Was mighty surprised to come up with these two.

Raise your bottom in the air

Being a newbie to Yoga, I looked first for a pose that would help, and came across this one. Well I’m not sure how this will assist the old ears, but if I could get my knees in that position I would certainly give it a whirl. The fact I may end up with a slipped disc or need traction for week is neither here nor they, at least the ringing could have gone.

2. Stick an onion in your ear.

Well this one is certainly easier, but as to the smell and reaction from those around me, I think the bottom in the air is looking pretty good to me.

So the idea with the onion is to either shove a  piece in your ear, or chop an onion up, cover with boiling water, drain, and then dispense said onion-water into the ear.

on the off chance I struggle with these two, anybody have a suggestion that doesn’t involve a pongy food or body contortion?