The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Catie Disabato

Top sheets are bullshit, all they do is get fucking tangled up by your feet and take up space in your washing machine. You spend $1.75 for a wash (with the extra rinse, which is worth it) and $1.00 to dry, you don’t deserve a fucking top sheet taking up space and energy. Also, think of the water wasted. We’re in a drought. Also, you live alone and sheets are a bitch to fold by yourself.

Live a penny-free lifestyle. Take all your remaining pennies to the Von’s on Alvarado, unarguably the worst grocery store in your neighborhood, and put them in the coin star. You’ll get about $2.37 in credit which you can redeem for cash or put towards the plastic container of raspberries that you know will taste lifeless but you can’t resist buying. Now that all your pennies are gone, don’t take in any new pennies. If anyone tries to hand you a penny, give it back or leave it on a counter or in a tip jar.