Short Story : Cat’s Cradle
When Steve met Katherine, he instantly fell in love with her. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something about her that he just couldn’t resist. There was only one problem…
She thought she was a cat.
It started innocently enough, with her suggesting that Steve call her Kitty for short, but that wasn’t where it ended. He didn’t mind the cat suits that she started to wear – he’d always had a thing for Julie Newmar in the old Batman TV series – but when she was asleep, she didn’t snore – she purred!
Steve did think that some of this behaviour was odd, but he had to admit that Katherine was exceptionally sexy. The idea that she sometimes thought of herself as a cat wasn’t totally unappealing to him, even when she sometimes ate cat food, but the fact that she could stretch her leg high into the air and lick its full length was more than enough to win him over.
One afternoon, Steve organised to take Katherine – sorry, Kitty – out for a meal, where he planned to ask her a question.
“So,” Kitty smiled at Steve across the table, nibbling at her starter of fishcakes, “what’s all this in aid of? It’s not our anniversary is it?”
“Well,” Steve swallowed nervously, fumbling in his jacket pocket, “I wanted to ask you a question.”
“A question?” Kitty repeated, almost purring, “What kind of a question?”
Steve produced an engagement ring from his pocket, opening the box which held it and presenting it to Kitty, “My question is,” he said nervously, “will you marry me?”
Kitty grinned from ear to ear, like a certain feline from Cheshire, and clapped her hands happily, “Yes!” she screamed, “Yes, I’ll marry you!”
A few months later the two married – Kitty obviously organising a cat-themed wedding, the details of which I won’t go into – and before long they had more good news…
“Steve?” Kitty said one evening, “How would you feel if we had a baby?”
Steve’s eyes widened, “What are you saying?” he asked, “Are you pregnant.”
Kitty nodded demurely, “Uh-huh.”
Steve was ecstatic; he’d always wanted kids, and now he was going to have one.
“That’s great news,” he smiled, and hugged his pregnant wife tightly.
Two months later, Steve was beginning to get very concerned about his wife.
“Should you be so big already?” he asked, looking at Kitty’s huge stomach.
“What do you mean?” Kitty asked, stroking her massive tummy.
“Well, you’re not due for another seven months,” he pointed out, “we haven’t even gone for a scan yet and you already look like you’re ready to drop!”
“Are you calling me fat?” Kitty asked angrily.
Steve shook his head, “No,” he told her, “don’t be silly. I’m just concerned that there might be something wrong with the baby, something that’s making you put on weight so quickly, all in one place.”
Steve had a point. Kitty’s weight was pretty much localised just to her stomach; she hadn’t put on any weight in her face, and her arms and legs looked as slender as normal.
“It’s perfectly normal in my family to put on weight so quickly,” Kitty explained, “My mother was huge just before she had me, and her mother was huge just before she had her.”
“But this isn’t just before you’re having a baby!” Steve said loudly, “You’ve still got seven months to go.”
Kitty chuckled, “Don’t be silly, honey,” she smiled, “the baby will be due within the week.”
“Within the week?” Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “You can’t be due in a week?”
“Of course I can,” Kitty smiled mysteriously, “That’s how long a cat’s gestation period is.”
A short time later, Steve made his excuses to pop out to the shops, taking his cell phone with him. Once he was a good distance from the house he made a call to a local psychiatrist.
“So she thinks she’s a cat?” the psychiatrist concluded once Steve had relayed all the details to him, “Well, I can’t see any harm in it. She’ll soon realise that she isn’t going to give birth this week and she’ll accept the fact that she has a few more months to go.”
“Thank you doc,” Steve said, “That makes me feel a little better.”
“You’re very welcome,” the doctor replied.
“By the way, doc,” Steve continued, “Are you supposed to give advice out over the phone like this?”
The doctor laughed, “I don’t see why not,” he replied, “After all, this is just a story.”
Steve hung up on the doctor and headed back home, but he couldn’t find Kitty anywhere. After a frantic search of the house, he finally found her curled up in the airing cupboard.
“What are you doing in there?” he asked, watching as Kitty curled her head round to look at him.
“You know cat’s like to give birth in a quiet private place,” she told him.
“But you’re not a cat!” Steve cried.
“Call the midwife,” Kitty said through her teeth, her face dripping with sweat, “The baby’s coming.”
“It can’t be,” Steve shook his head, starting to panic about his wife’s mental well-being, “You’re not due for another seven months, I’ve told you that over and over!”
“Just call the midwife!” Kitty hissed, and Steve was too scared not to obey her.
In short time the doctor arrived, and so did the baby. Steve had waited in the living room while the doctor helped Kitty give birth in the bedroom. About thirty minutes after the midwife had arrived she walked back into the living room, a look of concern on her face.
“What is it?” Steve asked, standing up from his seat, “Is something wrong? Is Kitty okay? The baby?”
“They’re both fine,” the midwife said nervously, “I guess.”
“What do you mean, you guess?” Steve asked.
The midwife opened her mouth to speak, then changed her mind, “You’d better come and have a look,” she finally said.
Steve followed the midwife into the bedroom where Kitty was sat up in bed, holding a bundle in her hands.
Their new baby.
Steve smiled walking over to Kitty and the baby, and ventured to take a peek. Before he could, the midwife gripped his arm;
“Now, don’t be shocked,” she warned Steve, “the baby looks a little… peculiar.”
“Peculiar?” Steve repeated, then motioned to move back the swaddling from the baby’s face.
The baby’s eyes blinked rapidly, slanting slightly under its furry brow. The triangular nose twitched above its small curved mouth. Its ears flicked back and forth as it looked up into its mother’s eyes and cooed quietly.
“Meow,” said the baby.
“Oh, honey,” Kitty smiled up at a stunned and disbelieving Steve, “She said mummy!”
Originally Posted 14/9/2015
Result - 2nd Place
She thought she was a cat.
It started innocently enough, with her suggesting that Steve call her Kitty for short, but that wasn’t where it ended. He didn’t mind the cat suits that she started to wear – he’d always had a thing for Julie Newmar in the old Batman TV series – but when she was asleep, she didn’t snore – she purred!
Steve did think that some of this behaviour was odd, but he had to admit that Katherine was exceptionally sexy. The idea that she sometimes thought of herself as a cat wasn’t totally unappealing to him, even when she sometimes ate cat food, but the fact that she could stretch her leg high into the air and lick its full length was more than enough to win him over.
One afternoon, Steve organised to take Katherine – sorry, Kitty – out for a meal, where he planned to ask her a question.
“So,” Kitty smiled at Steve across the table, nibbling at her starter of fishcakes, “what’s all this in aid of? It’s not our anniversary is it?”
“Well,” Steve swallowed nervously, fumbling in his jacket pocket, “I wanted to ask you a question.”
“A question?” Kitty repeated, almost purring, “What kind of a question?”
Steve produced an engagement ring from his pocket, opening the box which held it and presenting it to Kitty, “My question is,” he said nervously, “will you marry me?”
Kitty grinned from ear to ear, like a certain feline from Cheshire, and clapped her hands happily, “Yes!” she screamed, “Yes, I’ll marry you!”
A few months later the two married – Kitty obviously organising a cat-themed wedding, the details of which I won’t go into – and before long they had more good news…
“Steve?” Kitty said one evening, “How would you feel if we had a baby?”
Steve’s eyes widened, “What are you saying?” he asked, “Are you pregnant.”
Kitty nodded demurely, “Uh-huh.”
Steve was ecstatic; he’d always wanted kids, and now he was going to have one.
“That’s great news,” he smiled, and hugged his pregnant wife tightly.
Two months later, Steve was beginning to get very concerned about his wife.
“Should you be so big already?” he asked, looking at Kitty’s huge stomach.
“What do you mean?” Kitty asked, stroking her massive tummy.
“Well, you’re not due for another seven months,” he pointed out, “we haven’t even gone for a scan yet and you already look like you’re ready to drop!”
“Are you calling me fat?” Kitty asked angrily.
Steve shook his head, “No,” he told her, “don’t be silly. I’m just concerned that there might be something wrong with the baby, something that’s making you put on weight so quickly, all in one place.”
Steve had a point. Kitty’s weight was pretty much localised just to her stomach; she hadn’t put on any weight in her face, and her arms and legs looked as slender as normal.
“It’s perfectly normal in my family to put on weight so quickly,” Kitty explained, “My mother was huge just before she had me, and her mother was huge just before she had her.”
“But this isn’t just before you’re having a baby!” Steve said loudly, “You’ve still got seven months to go.”
Kitty chuckled, “Don’t be silly, honey,” she smiled, “the baby will be due within the week.”
“Within the week?” Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “You can’t be due in a week?”
“Of course I can,” Kitty smiled mysteriously, “That’s how long a cat’s gestation period is.”
A short time later, Steve made his excuses to pop out to the shops, taking his cell phone with him. Once he was a good distance from the house he made a call to a local psychiatrist.
“So she thinks she’s a cat?” the psychiatrist concluded once Steve had relayed all the details to him, “Well, I can’t see any harm in it. She’ll soon realise that she isn’t going to give birth this week and she’ll accept the fact that she has a few more months to go.”
“Thank you doc,” Steve said, “That makes me feel a little better.”
“You’re very welcome,” the doctor replied.
“By the way, doc,” Steve continued, “Are you supposed to give advice out over the phone like this?”
The doctor laughed, “I don’t see why not,” he replied, “After all, this is just a story.”
Steve hung up on the doctor and headed back home, but he couldn’t find Kitty anywhere. After a frantic search of the house, he finally found her curled up in the airing cupboard.
“What are you doing in there?” he asked, watching as Kitty curled her head round to look at him.
“You know cat’s like to give birth in a quiet private place,” she told him.
“But you’re not a cat!” Steve cried.
“Call the midwife,” Kitty said through her teeth, her face dripping with sweat, “The baby’s coming.”
“It can’t be,” Steve shook his head, starting to panic about his wife’s mental well-being, “You’re not due for another seven months, I’ve told you that over and over!”
“Just call the midwife!” Kitty hissed, and Steve was too scared not to obey her.
In short time the doctor arrived, and so did the baby. Steve had waited in the living room while the doctor helped Kitty give birth in the bedroom. About thirty minutes after the midwife had arrived she walked back into the living room, a look of concern on her face.
“What is it?” Steve asked, standing up from his seat, “Is something wrong? Is Kitty okay? The baby?”
“They’re both fine,” the midwife said nervously, “I guess.”
“What do you mean, you guess?” Steve asked.
The midwife opened her mouth to speak, then changed her mind, “You’d better come and have a look,” she finally said.
Steve followed the midwife into the bedroom where Kitty was sat up in bed, holding a bundle in her hands.
Their new baby.
Steve smiled walking over to Kitty and the baby, and ventured to take a peek. Before he could, the midwife gripped his arm;
“Now, don’t be shocked,” she warned Steve, “the baby looks a little… peculiar.”
“Peculiar?” Steve repeated, then motioned to move back the swaddling from the baby’s face.
The baby’s eyes blinked rapidly, slanting slightly under its furry brow. The triangular nose twitched above its small curved mouth. Its ears flicked back and forth as it looked up into its mother’s eyes and cooed quietly.
“Meow,” said the baby.
“Oh, honey,” Kitty smiled up at a stunned and disbelieving Steve, “She said mummy!”
Originally Posted 14/9/2015
Result - 2nd Place
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