Corona Gale, nightly build 2.2.6

Kate didn’t go to the party with Ollie. She thought of inviting him, considered if it was a good idea or not introduce Ollie to Shawn, but thought better of it. First, there was the chance that Shawn might bring up some past. It generally wasn’t like Shawn to be overly dramatic, but she also hadn’t seen him in a few years. Perhaps he’d grown the skill, or found someone to teach him. Shawn was one of her best friends, someone she could honestly say have her back in dark times, had known her all her adult life, and could be counted on. She knew these things, but wondered if they were ever actually true. She had reason to doubt some of them, but mostly because she had reason to doubt herself.

From time to time, Kate wondered if any of the friendships she allocated in life actually meant the same things then as they did to her. When she would go a year or more without speaking to someone, she wondered if that friendship was in abeyance, resting, or forgotten. Someone like Alice, she figured, must’ve felt the same way earlier this afternoon. Alice might have had in her head an idea of Kate as a friend, and found a certain crushing in the realization that she’d been forgotten. But what would’ve been crushed? Was it a delusionary feeling that Kate both remembered her and fondly remembered her, had wanted to get in touch but had found no way to, even though they probably knew some of the same people, and were almost certainly two clicks away on social media? Or was it an acceptance of an assumption? The same two clicks applied to Alice. She could’ve made some effort, and chose not to. Alice remembered Kate, but maybe didn’t need her in her life. Kate hoped Alice felt the same way Kate felt about many of her friends. To see them in the surprises delightful, but to see their faces on her phone every day was depressing.

Kate found herself in a suburb. It was geographically uninteresting, and could’ve been set in any town in North America. That she was in a Calgarian suburb didn’t seem to matter much except for preparation, which is why hugging her right side sat a messenger bag holding a raincoat and a pair of gloves. These were in case it hailed later. She did not like getting caught in hail with nothing. The weather report had no hail in it, but that did not matter. Neither did the weather report most days[1] . She, along with most of the city, had no idea why they even hire weatherman in Calgary. It would save a lot of money and be equally useful to simply have a shruggie gif on repeat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It is somewhat easy to find Shawn’s house. Like all decent suburban parties, his was the house with all the cars in front. There were four cars, all different colors shapes and sizes in his driveway. There were three more flanking on the street, and three more on the other side of the street flanking another driveway. One of the cars in the driveway was a seven seater but most others were coups, most fairly new looking, only two with cracked windows[2] . As Kate approached, she noticed two guys sitting on the porch step, each holding a beer.

One of them said to her, “Hey, you’re incredibly late, and you weren’t even supposed to be here. I’m going to have to take your number down.”

Kate blinked. She said, “Is that, like, a line you’ve been practicing?”

The guy smiled. He nodded.

“How’s it been working out?” She asked.

He held up his phone. “I got one so far.”

Kate looked at the phone. “This is the number for Una[3] . It’s good though. I didn’t think pizza went with wine, but, you know what? I was super wrong.”

The other guy laughed.

“Yo,” he said to the sad guy with the fake number. “Maybe she wants to get pizza with you.”

Kate shrugged in agreement. “Good luck,” she said, going inside.

The other reason they didn’t invite Ollie to this party was because Ollie wouldn’t be in her life for very much longer. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to confuse her friends; they’d seen her with different guys and knew that she was particularly one for commitment. She want to confuse Ollie. She didn’t want introductions to weigh on anything. Because they would like him, and there was a danger of him liking them. It would make things tougher. In truth, she was going to zip in, talk to Shawn, zip out, go back to Ollie and spend the night with them. She was going to spend every night left with him. But she wasn’t going to share him. And she wasn’t going to give him hope.

Instead of joining her, Ollie was out with his friend Chambers. Chambers was a normal guy who preferred his last name, probably because he spent some time in military school, or played a little too much high school sports, or just hated his first name, Kate didn’t know for sure. But in a very male friendship sort of way, Ollie and Chambers had set things they liked to do. Chambers came over to watch Flames and Stampeders games, and occasionally they would go to a bar, Ollie doing his best to help Chambers find a suitable girl.tonight was a bar night, and Kate was sure she would receive a text or two about how the affair was going. In any case, all he wasn’t left alone, left to wonder why Katie wouldn’t want him around her friends.

Besides, what friends were even in this house? Shawn, obviously. Alice, she supposed. But who else would even be there? Had she forgotten more people? Had she actually cared about little? Would she, upon entering the kitchen or the back deck, be inundated with how are you’s and it’s been so long’s? Would it be a high school reunion? It could be. Shawn knew her in high school. But, no. That wouldn’t make sense. Shawn knew her, but didn’t go to her school. He was older than her, halfway through college when they met in her senior year. But then again, Shawn knew everybody. He was the guy who knew everybody.

Through the foyer, she could see a lot of house. To the right, fairly open room with half a dozen people inside all standing in a circle, and drink in one hand and a plate of finger food in the other. Dressed well, three of them turned to look at her, all with the same unrecognizing leer. She would not have to reintroduce herself to these people. She kept her shoes on and proceeded.

“Hello?” a woman asked Kate from behind her. Kate turned around and slightly bent her knees and elbows out of instinct. She braced, which put the girl on a bit of an edge.

“Well why didn’t you say you were security? Could have used you an hour ago.” 

The girl was wearing white runners, a cargo vest, and a button-up blouse. It was like she’d searched for “boat wear from the 70s” and bought the lot. Kate said, “Sorry, you startled me.”

“Well, we’re even,” she said. “I saw you come in while I was in the dining room, so I thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Madelina. Welcome to my party.”

Kate heard the name and did her best not to snicker. She hadn’t heard a name like that since she read fantasy novels as a junior. She instead focused on the fact that this wasn’t Shawn’s party. Did she have the wrong house?

“Kate,” she said, introducing herself with a handshake. Madelina’s palm was sweaty. Talcum’d.

“I hope you don’t mind me just coming up like this. If I can ask, though, were you invited?”

“Sure,” Kate said. “Alice told me there was a party.”

A look Kate saw coming appeared on Madelina. She didn’t know who Alice was.

Kate’s phone buzzed in her messenger bag.

“Shawn,” Kate said quickly enough. “I’m an old friend of Shawn’s.”

Madelina motioned with her drink-holding hand to a couch, but nothing from her martini glass hit air. It wasn’t clear if saying Shawn’s name was enough, but Kate did as suggested and took a seat on the farthest end of a long brown-leather sofa that felt like it had been delivered an hour ago.

“Are you divorced?” Madelina asked.

Kate’s bag, now sitting at his feet, buzzed again. “Excuse me,” she deferred, and reached in. It was a message from Ollie.

—Chambers thinks the drawer thing was cheesy.

Looking back at Madelina, Kate said, “not yet.”

Kate shook her head. “Also, isn’t that kind of a personal question?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can be too forward sometimes. But, it’s just that, this is…well, you know what this is. It’s strange that you’re here alone is all. Shawn said there wouldn’t be any actual single people here tonight. So that’s why I asked, since she must have thought you were with a partner. I’m sorry again, but are you sure you’re not with anyone?”

—I don’t know. I thought it was sweet.

—Okay, maybe a little corny.

—Anyways, just wanted to say hi.

—How’s your evening going? We’re losing. Chambers struck out twice.

Kate said, “I’m with someone.”

Before Madelina could go on, a woman came by with a tray. She was dressed in all black, and carried a demure attitude that gave away that she was on the clock. On the tray were glasses of champagne and martinis. Kate and Madelina took one of each, and the woman took Madelina’s now-empty martini glass. Everyone said thank you.

Madelina bit her lower lip. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just that my husband, well, him and I are not on the best of terms right now. Jack is, that’s my husband, Jack, he’s a recovering addict, and I thought something like this, where we, together, well, might help. Of sorts.”

Kate peered at this girl. She was like a TV show, something there for Kate’s popcorn-chewing entertainment, something she didn’t really have anything to do with but couldn’t help but poke at a little, to see if there was more meat on the bone.

Kate said, “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. If I can ask, what was he addicted to? Alcohol? Gambling?”

“Women!” She exclaimed. “That son of a you know what is probably flirting with someone at the dang basement bar right now. Anyways, I wanted to introduce myself just in case, thinking maybe if you met me first you wouldn’t want to go to bed with him. I was hoping everyone around us would be married, but if you’re not, can you at least be on my side? I’m really trying with this marriage.”

Kate crossed her heart and hoped to die that she would not sleep with this Madelina’s husband.

“Oh, that’s not what I meant, sweet thing,” Madelina said. “I’m thinking you might actually be the one I’m looking for.”

Kate was beginning to put this together. 

“How long have you two been married?” Kate asked.

“Oh,” Madelina responded, counting on her fingers. “Four months.”

“And he’s constantly cheating on you?”

“Not if I can help it! I’ve stopped him as best I could. This is my last resort, Kate. I’ve got to reform my man. I don’t want to lose this one, too.”

“Wait, too?” Kate asked. “You lost another husband to infidelity?”

Madelina kept playing with her khaki shorts, specifically the pleat in the front. They were brand new by the looks of them, as were everything she wore. To answer Kate’s question, she just nodded sheepishly.

There were more texts from Ollie. Kate responded to the last set with “there, there” but her sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed.

—Hey, he’s a good guy, okay? He just doesn’t have our luck.

—He just struck out again. I’m trying here but it just isn’t his night.

—How’s the party? Chambers is asking if we can crash it. Are there girls there?

—blink twice if there are girls there.

Three clean martinis later, Kate couldn’t feel her toes. Madelina had told her about the entire marriage, all her problems. It seemed an unbelievably thick and detailed account. When her husband wasn’t running around with other women, he was out hatching get rich quick schemes, even though he was already wealthy and owned a rather large house in a good neighbourhood. Calgary was expensive to live in. The only people she felt could afford it well enough were people in oil or software, or people like herself, who were paid in wads of cash stuffed in envelopes.

Kate was only now wondering why Madelina didn’t seem to ask her about much, but instead just went on and on and on about her own problems. Didn’t she want some kind of conversation? Or was she like this with everyone, dispelling half-truths and high drama about her life to anyone who would listen? Kate didn’t feel like she had any sort of special connection to this girl, several years younger than herself but so filled with the kind of high school mindset that she wondered if she’d ever grown out of it.

Kate then remembered that she’d thought there was a chance she was going to meet some people from high school at this party, and found herself slightly less judgmental. 

“I think I’m drunk,” Kate said. Madelina laughed.

“Yeah, but I could use another one,” she replied. Kate nodded, as if it was the wise decision.

“So, can I ask you a question?” Kate asked

“Of course,” Madelina said. “I feel like we’re becoming really good friends.”

“Yeah yeah, me too,” Kate said. “But, I have to ask. Where am I?”

“You’re in my house, sweetheart.”

“You own this place? It’s like a five million dollar house.”

Madelina nodded. “You’re close.”

“I guess what I’m trying to ask is, am I at the right party?”

“That’s a very good question dear,” Madelina said. “I’ve asked myself that one a few times.”

“Don’t call me dear. I’m thirty. You’re like eighteen.”

“Twenty-three!” Madelina said, straightening her back and posing. “But thank you.”

Kate didn’t ask any more questions, and soon Madelina excused herself, saying she needed to go find her husband. They hugged awkwardly, Madelina’s palms digging into Kate’s back, the nail markings staying well into the night.

At three drinks, Kate could slink through rooms. The house was people’d up, making hallways thin and the air wet. She’d forgotten about the mosquito bite on her bottom right pinky toe. It didn’t itch anymore. She wanted a cigarette that wasn’t hers.

She texted Ollie back, told him there weren’t any girls here. That was a pretty big lie, but Kate had a feeling that there weren’t actually any single girls here. People looked coupled, even when standing alone. And they all looked somewhat unhappy about being coupled. This was not a party where people got loose and half-blind. This was a party with a particular purpose. This is what Shawn did. All her life, Katie had known Sean as a man who threw parties that moved people’s lives forward[4] . She wasn’t sure how exactly he got paid for that, but no doubt there were people who wanted that type of experience. They wanted their lives to change, and they knew that with some money and a couple of uncomfortable hours it could be arranged.

Kate have learned a lot from these parties. She’d been going to them on and off for 15 years. She learned how to stand beside people without them even knowing. She learned how to whisper so that someone across the room could hear. She learned how to spread a rumor. She learned how to properly meet a stranger.

Kate exited the house from the side door and found a group of people smoking in the suburban-sized crevice between the house and the fence. A handful of polite words to the chinless man to her right netted some handrolled tobacco and a lighter. She said thank you by saying “luminous beings are we[5] ,” and making him laugh. This kind of reference could be tantamount to currency between complete strangers. She was about to say a second thing, perhaps to start conversation, but he turned slightly away from her, towards the group of smokers, as one fairly tall man with a vaperizer[6]  began proselytizing.

“Who here has ever use a line to pick up a woman?” He said, skillfully embracing the tone of the self-help man. Everyone’s hands went up, even Kate’s.

He continued, knowing the answer ahead of time. “And who has been successful, and by successful I mean the pickup line led to a real conversation, which led to an actual connection, which led to actual relationship? I don’t just mean successful like she went back to your place for a night.” All the hands went down.

He was good-looking guy. His chin-length hair was pulled up into a bun to the back of his head. He had a boulder set of shoulders, and held the confidence of the man who could lift and throw just about anyone. This was the result of some excellent diet, workout planning, a lucky set of genetics, and years of training and dedication. His ease and demeanor came through in every word, and it was as if his whole body said that if you listen to him, you too could turn out this way.

The man introduced himself. “I’m Leon, in case you were wondering. Thanks for being here tonight. I’m here if you need to talk, and especially if you want to share a story.”

Kate was beginning to wonder just what kind of party she was at.

He continued, “Now, I have a secret I want to share with you. It’s something you probably haven’t realized, or, even if you have, it’s probably something that hasn’t sunk in. Women, it turns out, don’t actually like being hit on.”

Kate heard scoffing. She heard herself scoffing.

“Sure,” Leon responded to everyone. “It seems crazy. They’ll tell you, if you ask them, straight up, that they not only like it, they appreciate it from time to time. I’m not talking about catcalling or being rude or anything like that. We can all pretty much agree we should cut that shit out. But what I’m talking about is the classic introduction at a bar, with the offer of a drink, followed by a compliment and maybe a clever line. Every woman you ask about this will tell you they like it. But guys? Don’t listen to them.”

There were half a dozen men in this smokers pit, and two women. The other woman, who stood right next to Leon, stood about a foot shorter than him, but equally in peak condition. She held a daiquiri and nodded along. Kate just smoked.

“The fact of the matter is this,” Leon explained. He was the only person not smoking. “If you hit on a woman, you’re creating an artificial situation. It may be one you’ve both agreed to participate in, but it’s not real, and in the back of your head you’ll always know this. It’ll always feel a little cheap to you. You’ll never quite feel like it was meant to be.”

A few questions were thrown at this point. Disagreements. More scoffing. Few people were convinced. Whoever these people were at this party, not all of them came with open minds. Perhaps, Kate thought, only one person in a couple here knew what was up. Perhaps a few significant others got dragged along. But after some time, Leon got back on track with his script.

“See, what women really want—and truly, I want you to trust me on this because it will lead to the promised land—is getting as close as possible to absolute spontaneous kismet. We all know deep down that there’s no real such thing as ‘the one’ or ‘true love’. We’re all adults here. We all broke up with our high school sweethearts. We all broke up with our college sweethearts. We’ve all broken hearts, and had our hearts broken. We know this is a struggle. But we still believe in it. We believe that one day we’ll get there. And you know what? You will.”

Kate was surprised nobody was being asked to pay for each paragraph from this guy. Her cigarette was half done. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t just walk away, but the guy she’d bummed the smoke from was still standing there, still rapt in attention to this huckster.

Leon turned towards Kate. “You, how did you meet the guy you’re with?”

Kate remembered Madelina’s quizzacle look when she said she was here alone. She didn’t want it repeated and magnified in a huge group. This was clearly some kind of couples thing, so she went along with it, pretending that Ollie was in the other room or something.

“You’re going to laugh,” she said. Everyone did anyway.

“Come on,” Leon said. “Tell us.”

“Well,” she wound up. “I ran him over with my car.”

The small crowd took turns snickering, gasping, and being quiet with drunken disbelief.

Leon shushed them. “There’s potential with this. I hope you see that. You didn’t know him before. You’d never seen one another. And through a horrible accident which must have caused some pain and suffering, you found one another. I just have one question. Are you happy?”

Kate pursed her lips into a W for a quick moment and nodded. What else was there to do? The douchey magic trick was working on her.

“Okay, I lied,” Leon said. “I have one more question. Is this relationship working out better than the ones that came before?”

This one took more time to answer, but everyone in the semi-circle expected that. Kate eventually answered, and though she’d answered honestly, the answer surprised her. She had never put her and Ollie in those terms before.

“See, this is my point, and thank you young lady for helping me get there.  Instead of just hitting on a girl, or going out with your buddies on the prowl, you should be looking for that spontaneous moment where you could argue that the fates are bringing you together.”

This was met with the easiest response ever, from the guy beside Kate. He said, “How are we supposed to make that happen?”

Leon took a deep breath. “The answer is different for everyone. And the situation will be different. And I have no idea how to fake it. If there are people out there faking this, then they’ve got the key to everything[7] . They’ve go the whole world in their hands. But I know that it’s the only way to a genuine connection. I know everyone here is taken[8] , currently, but this advice works even in a relationship. You want these spontaneous moments to keep happening. You want to find her through magic everyday.”

It wasn’t clear what Leon wanted, but Kate took something from this anyway. She texted Ollie to come meet her. She then followed up.

—Don’t bring Chambers.

The smoking crowd dispersed. Just Leon and Kate remained.

He asked, “Is that true? Did you run over your partner?”

Kate nodded.

He asked, “Do you think it was an accident, or fate?”

She said, “I know there’s no such thing as fate. There are accidents, and there are plans.”

Leon smiled. “So was it an accident, or a plan?”

“I don’t know,” Kate replied. “Maybe it was his plan to get hit by me. Maybe he saw someone like you give a speech like that and cycled into traffic looking for violent love. You never know the whole plan[9] .”

A moment passed between them. In that time, Kate had rolled over her choices and options with Ollie. She tumbled it all while also thinking about dinner, about what kind of laundry she’d have to do over the next few days, if her passport was renewed properly (always a panic), if she could get someone to water her plants, if she should cancel everything and quit and be with him forever and be happy, how impossible that would be, how many promises and vows she’d have to break, what it would take to actually quit, if anyone had ever really done it, what it would be like to walk around the world with this knowledge (the knowledge she’d just given out freely to Leon, but more, so, so, so much more than she could tell he realized), how Tony was, what he was doing, what was he thinking, and was he thinking of her[10] ? She then realized she was just remembering a Kids in the Hall bit, and didn’t actually know a Tony, and maybe she should just find either some drugs or Shawn, already.

Leon, Kate noticed, was staring at the undone button on her top that made her cleavage pop just enough. But maybe he had other stuff going on, too. She wasn’t a mind reader.

“I have to find my friend,” Kate said, heading to the backyard. Leon said goodbye, and Kate heard him holler at people inside.

 

 

***

 

 

 

Kate stood across from Shawn in this kitchen, an island between them made of some kind of cherry wood, Maple? She didn’t know for wood, only seen the brochures and pamphlets these kinds of things came from, extensions and installations of customizable dream homes, the hands holding them, excited people with plans. Kate had not yet been seduced by the suburban dream home complex, which consisted entirely of people who had already done it and only had wonderful things to say. She was not sure if Shawn was going to say any of these things. She didn’t know what he might remark about his own choices, and if those choices panned out to a happiness. The entire seduction community surrounding pseudo-customizable suburban houses started well before Kate moved to Calgary and would likely continue long after she left. It was true for other cities, but perhaps no more true than on the perimeter of her adopted home town, which was so much larger and so much more unrecognizable that was even 10 years before, and would probably swallow her hometown before she was forty. This is where Kate stood, across from Shawn, out where there used to be a farm, in the house he handpicked, purchased with money, and would likely sell within three years.

 But if there was a sort of suburban sting on a person, where living out there with so much more space and more commute time presumably actually changed a person’s personality, Kate couldn’t really tell with her old friend. Then again, Kate’s idea of Shawn was put together less by knowing him well and more interrupted his life every few years with her life, her problems, her disasters. In this new room they had no privacy. The kitchen bustled with people getting drinks and food from Shawn’s comically oversized fridge, which was the type could only fit through comically oversized suburban doors, likely requiring three men with back braces. Shawn would have tipped a man to get that fridge in.

This was a party of sorts, one that Kate likely would not have been invited to under the normal circumstances, as she came without a partner, which was technically against the rules.

Shawn was frowning.

 “She looks great,” Kate said. She said this of the house, quickly, to break the air. It did not make things less awkward. The fact is, Kate shouldn’t have been at this party. Alice was nowhere to be found, in person or via text. She had not told Shawn, and had not informed Kate of the particulars of this party. Earlier in the afternoon, when Kate realized Alice either gave her a fake number or couldn’t be bothered to check her phone, had to call another old friend who updated her phone with Shawn’s new current alarmingly suburban new address.

 Her compliment did not break the silence for long. Shawn looked as if he was going to take the beer in his hand to another room. He looked it if he looked as if he was going to blink at her a few more times, turned into his pantry, which had the door that should have belonged to an old wardrobe, and disappear. His face was not one that seemed happy to see her.

 “You look great,” she said, hoping that might help.

 “You’re not funny,” he told her. “And you shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t be in my life. We shouldn’t know each other. I don’t know why we know each other.”

“We know each other because, well, you remember when we met,” She said.

“I know why we met,” he said. “but that’s not the same thing as knowing why we know one another. Why you keep popping up in my life. Am I one of your projects? Am I someone you have to keep tabs on? Is there something about my life that’s interesting to you or your employers?”

 “You don’t know anything about my employers,” she said.

 Music played. Kate couldn’t see speakers but she heard music. Maybe all that stuff was just in the walls now, some easy up-charge from the house builders that put the stereo in one room and the speakers everywhere. The stereo equipment might have been mysterious, but the music was pedantic. Fleetwood Mac blared from nowhere.

“Isn’t it enough that I think you’re worth keeping in touch with every now and then?”

“I don’t even know what the appropriate response is to this situation. People who have done the kinds of things you’ve done generally don’t keep showing up. Am I an idiot? I must be an idiot. You, Kate middle-name-redacted last-name-redacted, have screwed up my life on two occasions, and I let you do it both times, invited both events in. You’re like a vampire person. You’re of no danger to me until I invite you in, then you make me eat garlic and I explode.”

Kate said, “I don’t think you know how vampires work. But that’s okay. I don’t care. And I apologized for Scott. Scott was my fault. It was so, so my fault.”

Kate had a feeling this might happen. She didn’t think it would take place in such a sterile and tall kitchen, or that Shawn wouldn’t at least show a few niceties before getting into their past. But she knew she’d have to talk about Scott. She’d have to talk about Sabin. She’d have to talk about Drumheller.

“Give me some credit,” Shawn said. “We’ve been over our past. But when you show up and ruin my life, disappear for a few years, show up again looking for advice about your crazy situation in 2012 with Sabin, and then disappear again for three years, you are stretching the notion of ‘old friends’ just a little. We are not friends. If anything, I’m your victim.”

Kate chewed something that wasn’t there.

She said, “I’m not what happened to you. I did a bad thing that moved your life forward when it wasn’t going to move forward on its own. It’s not so different from what you do. I know what’s happening here. This is what you do, too.”

“But people ask me to,” Shawn said. “They ask me, and they pay me with their money. What I do is honest. What you do is terrorism.”

 

 

[”Calgary’s spring weather is going to be “normal," whatever that means”](http://www.calgarysun.com/2013/03/05/...)

 

[According to the City of Calgary website, when road surface temperatures are between 0 and -10C, salt is used to melt snow and ice. When road surfaces are below -5C, a sanding chip mixture (three per cent salt and 97 per cent fine gravel) is distributed. While it’s great for traction, that fine gravel usually ends up equaling plenty of bruised, chipped and cracked windshields.](http://driving.ca/auto-news/news/on-t...)

 

https://instagram.com/unacalgary/.

 

This is something to echo about what she does for a living.

 

Empire Strikes Back. Maybe find a better one?

 

Is this the right word for this?

 

Kate is the person out there faking this.

 

So, there’s some clumsiness here, as most of his speil is about hitting on people, and this is a weird couples thing. Maybe rewrite this later?

 

Repeat this line.

 

Kids in the Hall. Probably cut in V2.