Fool

I have a numbing headache

It’s not really painful

But sits just on the edge of perception

Clouding my thoughts

Something weighs heavily on me today

Following me like a foul smell

Or that stale taste

From yesterday’s unwanted cigarette

Stubbed out half-smoked

In the disgust of will

Bent, twisted, broken in this situation I am in

Surrounded by comfort

All those things

Yet I am alone and wallowing in loneliness

I walk the street

Idly people watching

Surrounded by people and abandoned by friends

Life is lonely

If I could only

Be somewhere else at this moment in time

On a beach

Swimming in the Sea

Anything to put a gap between Him and Me

Disconnected

Momentarily misdirected

Wallowing around in an Ocean of bitterness

Drinking the cup

Swallowed all up

The reflection of a reflection all grown up

I can sparkle

Yes, I can shine

I am aging like a very fine wine

Opened too soon

Consumed in an empty room

Too drunk to be tasted

My swallower is totally wasted

Unaware

Unfair?

That wine has given me a numbing headache

It’s not so painful

Sitting on the edge of reality

Clouding my thoughts

Weighing me down

Sucking me deeper

And deeper in

Lifelessly paraded

Waved like a flag

Dressed in drag

Spirals upon spirals

The waves thunder by

Me? All I hear is one giant sigh

Endings are ending

But also beginnings

Am I to be born anew?

A Decision

Made with precision

For another smoke

What a joke

A fool

Utter fool

That’s me.

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