Where did Gervais go?

Finally, a conspiracy theory I can enjoy:

The 68th annual Golden Globes veered into Cluedo territory last night as the event's host went missing for nearly an hour. Ricky Gervais's absence from the stage, following an opening monologue that drew more gasps than laughs, led excited observers to speculate that the British comic may have been collared backstage and fired … or worse.

Gervais opened the live telecast by poking exuberant fun at the likes of Tim Allen, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and Robert Downey Jr. He claimed to have had to help Philip Berk, president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, off the toilet and "put his teeth back in". He introduced Bruce Willis as "Ashton Kutcher's dad" and explained that Johnny Depp's critically panned caper movie The Tourist had only been nominated because the voters of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association "accepted bribes". Neither Willis nor Depp appeared especially amused.

Then Gervais went missing, sparking lurid speculation on blogs and Twitter. Where had Gervais gone? Had the host been killed or merely given his marching orders?…

Even when Gervais eventually returned, observers noted that he seemed subdued, leading to suggestions that he had been asked to tone down his routine. According to CNN host Piers Morgan, Gervais looked "haunted". He vowed to ask the comedian: "What the hell did they do to you backstage?"

Some of the "jokes" were indeed pointlessly nasty, and I'm a Gervais fan.

The Washington Post's Hank Stuever isn't impressed:

Are we at war with England? If not, then why have we been subjected to two years of Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globe Awards, witnessing a growing hostility between the British comedian and a resentful audience of celebs?…

"I warned 'em," Gervais said at one point in Sunday night's lazy and perfunctorily smarmy show - he meant he warned the producers, but it seems we've all been warned now. Gervais proved last year that he wasn't the right bloke for the job. From his lame jokes about Charlie Sheen, "The Tourist" and Scientology to the uncomfy bit of open warfare between the host and the press association that puts on Hollywood's schlockiest award show, you kept hoping the crowd would rise up and pummel Gervais…

But why not let Robert Downey Jr. review the show, as Downey took the stage after Gervais introduced him with references to porn movies and stays at the Betty Ford Center: "Aside from the fact that [Gervais has] been mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I'd say the vibe of the show has been pretty good, wouldn't you?"

(Audience coughs, laughs nervously, checks watches. Home viewers watch listlessly.)