Do I Dare to Eat a Peach? L or l? . or ;? .” or “.?

Sure enough, here it came, with a warning, “Corrections Only.”

Working all afternoon, I got it back to them late today.  I struggled with questions of capitalization:  incarnation or Incarnation; resurrection or Resurrection?  I consulted the Book of Common Prayer; I consulted several tomes of biblical criticism; I consulted Google.  The consensus is that there’s not one.  After a quick consult with Molly, I decided that the only thing that mattered was consistency.  I began to scan for these words, catching most of them–I hope–and missing, I am certain, all kinds of punctuation problems.

There is no question about the source of these troubles.  As I write, I recognize each crossroads where a choice must be made.  Based on my reading and teaching over many years, I make that choice and keep writing.  When the same choice presents itself again, again I make it.  I don’t always make the same choice.  I have  lists of rules and examples in my mental file cabinet and, each time a decision is called for, I pull them out.  The problem arises because I apparently shuffle those differently, often resulting in different choices.  On one page it’s “Incarnation”; twenty pages along, “incarnation” makes more sense.  I can explain each decision.  I think that sometimes it is just a function of my mood of the day.

The truth is that I am not a good proofreader.  Decades ago I actually failed the test for a job as a proofreader for National Geographic.  I just can’t focus, visually or mentally, on those tiny commas and parentheses.  My eyes water; my attention wanders to the proverbial grocery list; I get uncontrollably sleepy, almost literally dropping onto the keyboard.  I become desperate; I walk around; I consume Diet Coke.  None of these works.  I am bored.  I am an intuitive grammarian, my writing grammatically pristine most of the time.  This is the result of a lifetime of reading.  Those lists of rules in my head are a jumbled mess; that file cabinet needs a good sorting and labeling.

I am a terrible proofreader.

At this critical point in time, I have no idea what to do about it.

I would welcome suggestions!!