It's Better For Everyone

Once upon a time, I got chased down Massachusetts Avenue in Harvard Square by an irate Jew for Jesus. She stampeded after me, trailing pamphlets like tire smoke, shouting profanity-filled attestations of God's love for me and suchlike, mainly because I'd told her that I preferred being a Jew for Moses.

In retrospect, enraged pursuit probably wasn't the best way for her to show off what she was, metaphorically speaking, selling, but that's neither here nor there. It was a long time ago, after all, and I haven't exactly given the incident a lot of thought since.

Yesterday, I got a package in the mail. It turned out to be a trade paperback edition of the New Testament with special "convince the Jew!" supporting material, courtesy of a Jews for Jesus group I'd never heard of. Now, I don't exactly make a secret of the fact that I am, as they say, a Red Sea Pedestrian. I don't particularly care if people try to proselytize me within certain limits if that's their religious duty because it's not going to work. I mean, heck, under certain circumstances, it's kind of sweet when friends care enough about you to try to save your soul from eternal hellfire.

But like I said, it ain't going to happen. I'm Jewish. I like being Jewish. After forty years, I think I've gotten reasonably good at it, and I'd hate to throw away all those years of practicing Judaism to start over with something else. And I'm not entirely thrilled that these folks dug up my contact information to send me something, even if it was done with the best of intentions.

So let's make a deal, folks. Please don't send me any more stuff, ever, 'cause we all win that way. You don't have to waste time and money shipping off something I will never read. I don't waste time seeing that it's something I'll never read and writing a meandering blog post about it. And maybe, just maybe, it'll save a tree somewhere.

Are we good? Thanks. And merry Christmas.