Selfishness: Is it Instinctual?
Lately, I feel like I’ve been swimming in a sea of selfishness, wading through a bunch of bragging. It’s not anyone in particular. . .just all of humanity.
You know what I’m getting at if you’re being honest. Have you ever been around people who are just consumed with themselves? The answer is probably yes because, as humans, it sometimes seems like we are inherently selfish. We “listen” to others’ worries/dreams/life stories/humorous tales . . .but do we really hear them, or are we just waiting to find a point where we can make the conversation about us? Are we really sharing details about our husbands/kids/dogs/jobs to connect with someone, or are we just saying “look at me”? I feel like I come across so many people in this world who are the latter, who are about drawing attention to their own lives, progress, and accomplishments in order to be noticed. It’s okay to be proud. We all want to be recognized when something great is happening for us. What’s not okay? Being self-absorbed with only your own accomplishments and not stopping to recognize others around you.
I feel like lately, I’ve been having this revelation or perhaps just a face to face meeting with reality: everyone is selfish to some extent. I am certainly no exception. We all want attention, we all want others to value us, and we all want others to show up for us when we need support. However, if we are all acting in this manner, then no one is winning. Everyone is just existing in a sea of individuals looking out for their own interests. If we are all selfish, then no one is actually getting the attention craved. We are all fooling each other, pretending to care about each other when really we are just waiting for an opening to shift the attention to ourselves. Life, then, becomes a constant tug of war for power, attention, and conversations.
I know what you’re thinking– wow this is a depressing post. But in reality, it’s not. It’s just a wake up call. We can overcome this social issue and start shifting our society from a “me,me,me” culture to one where we actually care about others.
It doesn’t have to be a Mother Theresa kind of move, either, where we give up everything we own and live only for others. It can be a small move. The next time you’re listening to someone talk. . .actually listen. In fact, promise yourself that you aren’t going to say anything that is remotely about you. Instead, comment on the other person’s story, ask questions . . .make it about that person. Or the next time a friend has something big happening in his or her life, be there for him or her. Don’t show up out of obligation or so that he or she will show up for you. Show up with no strings attached, no payback required. Try to do something for someone everyday that isn’t about you. Try to do something everyday that isn’t about bettering your career, your social status, or your reputation. If we all start stepping out of ourselves a bit and start really seeing those around us, really trying to support those around us, maybe we can break the reputation we have as a species. Maybe we can break the common belief that selfishness is an instinct we can’t overcome, that it’s a survival technique.
Maybe, just maybe, we can put a little bit more selflessness back into humanity.
Don’t be that person, that “me” person who only talks about yourself. If you need more inspiration, check out the Toby Keith video below :)
