So Long Hour

Hello~ 

The story I’m drawing is beginning to shape up…the rough sketch of words are gaining in composition, form and detail.  I’ve written 148 pages thus far and still have a few lines and twists up my sleeve.  There are many ideas floating around so shifting gears sometimes proves to be a challenge.  I’d love the privilege of penning from start to end without any interruption.  Okay, maybe not for I reached a point this week to where I was stuck on the same paragraph for a few hours.  The words landed in a simmering vat of confusion.  I ended up carrying the whole thing to the side yard and pouring the mess onto the grass.  Letters spewed everywhere as I waved “bye, bye, off with you now!”

I celebrated my birthday at the beginning of the week and had a most enjoyable time.   There was delicious food, great conversation and fruit salad.  I made a promise to my doctor that I’d change my lifestyle for good and I’m solid on that promise, so no cake for me.  I’m not calling this change a “diet” since the “d” word conjures depravation.  Celery sticks, calorie counting, jumping onto the scale excessively…I won’t do that because after…the poor habits always return.  So, call it what you will but my blood pressure that had slowly increased over the past year to an unhealthy reading is now back in check!  I make a lot of things home-made now…low sodium, low fat…high fiber with plenty of veggies.  I take my time, reading all labels to make an informed choice.  My absolute favorite protein is fresh cod.  I bend some foil into a nice little enclosure, add some lemon juice, herbs and bake!  It’s my new feel-good food. 

I attended a meeting this week at the high school for my son.  The teacher’s had planned on 150 parents and students showing up and I suspect there was double or possibly triple that number.  We were crammed into a space with standing room only…shoulder to shoulder, rows stacked on rows.  There was a teacher with a nasal voice that kept bellowing, “everyone please move in further…everyone please…”  How can they expect to fit a crowd inside that is larger than the room?  It reminded me of a photograph I saw once from the 1970’s where they tried to fit as many people as they could into a Volkswagen Beetle.  I thought of that image as I stood there too close for comfort.  Unfortunately, all of the exits were blocked with a barricade of people and there were more waiting in the hallways. 

Needless to say, the air became stuffy and fast.  I wanted to run out the door and escape to the parking lot to breathe the evening air…to feel the open space…but I couldn’t, I was stuck…I was sardine number 89.

Under normal circumstances, I’m not one to complain but being middle aged and having hot flashes…well, standing in a tightly packed crowd was the last thing I wanted to do.  The truth is; I had no choice for I was there on behalf of my son. 

I kept peeking at my watch thinking, “just ten more minutes…can I hold on just ten more minutes?”  The answer of course was “yes.”

I tried to think of worse things that I’ve faced in my life so as to find some comfort.  The moments before having all of my wisdom teeth pulled came to mind.  Saying goodbye to my dad that final time in the nursing home, the waiting room when my mom had open heart surgery, the time my son cut open his finger and needed stitches, the many occasions my car has left me stranded throughout my life…having the stomach flu, the doctor’s appointment to go over test results that seemed like bad news…the five minutes before a job interview.

Yes, there are many things worse than being packed in a sardine can for an hour…but what about the better times?  My kid’s and their many quirky antics, watching the boats on Lake Michigan, taking a walk along the countryside and capturing nature photographs, lunch with my friends, visiting my mom and hearing stories from yesteryear…shopping with my daughter, watching my son play soccer with his team, the anticipation of dinner after someone special has gone to a lot of trouble making it…watching seeds grow into plants…riding in a convertible with great tunes blaring…the simple pleasure of laughing…

I suppose I could go on and on since there is plenty more that deserves mention…but…

Thinking about the context of a painful hour reminds me of when I was a girl.  My mom, bless her heart, took the time to roll curlers into my hair.  I used to think it was the longest hour of my life…she had this fine toothed comb and worked section after section, pulling, gathering and clipping it all into place.  I couldn’t wait for her to announce that she was done for it was then I’d tear off down the hallway tossing curler after curler in my wake.  My poor mom!  As a parent that sort of thing would have driven me nuts, to take the time and to have my child “undo” all of the “doing” in an instant.

If only we could have a chance to collect our experiences and average them out.  I believe that the positive would outweigh the negative…and then it would all simply be marginally above ordinary.  Okay, maybe I wouldn’t wish to live in a world of “average”…there is something to be said about extraordinary!  I guess the question remains, how do I want to live?

We all have a record that is playing and the song is unique to us.  Do we choose to only hear the scratches OR do we decide to focus on the beautiful music that is playing despite the wear on the vinyl?  It seems to me, if we focus too much on the scratches, the unfavorable will seem more burdening than it actually is…and in that we miss out on a quality experience of the uplifting beat.

Yes…the crowded band room at my son’s school was a scratch in the record or on the other hand, music to my ears.  The simple fact is, I gained a new perspective and for that unexpected opportunity, I am grateful.