Pitching My Novel Until I'm Physically Sick of It

So I'm pitching my book to three agents on Friday, and I've been drinking lots of coffee and scrambling to make a workable, concise summary of my book. I'm doing this over and over until my brain malfunctions.

I want my story to be unorthodox, to promote mental health, to be community-oriented, to be a little bit funny, and to be hopeful. We'll see if that comes across in my pitch (I don't see any humor in it, now that I'm reading it over again).

Here goes:

"Keystone Trigger, a 100,000-word literary thriller, follows a group of people so stuck in their troubled pasts that they lose control of the present. It's set on Okinawa, which is known for the longest-living people in the world, and for a history of US-Japanese military oppression, which rips apart the local community. So, in my story, a decorated ex-Marine rapes an Okinawan girl and sets off a chain reaction of violence that escalates when a typhoon hits the island.

A suicidal activist in her nineties, a ridiculously impulsive hitman, and a tough but grief-stricken psychologist all fight to gain power over their surroundings, even though the only way they can truly feel strong is to make peace."

Just for clarity's sake, here are my main characters and their goals/flaws:

Hidari
Goal: to create a free Okinawa.
Flaw: she isolates herself because of her past.

Glen
Goal: to feel like a Marine again.
Flaw: he is consumed by the need to feel powerful.

Yoshio
Goal: to be a good man like his foster parents wanted.
Flaw: he is incredibly impulsive.

Dana
Goal: to keep her family stable and intact.
Flaw: she doesn’t communicate her grief to those around her.

Also, here's a video tour of Okinawa, thanks to the Washington Post.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to tear apart my pitch if you want.