SPOILERS! THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS BLOG POST! Please stop now if you do not want them!
First of all, I know there's a way to hide spoilers somehow, I'm just not smart enough to figure it out. So I hope the title and all that starring crap up there is enough.

If you keep reading, it's at your own risk, k?

*clears throat*

Okay, so today is March 31st, the official release day of THE SHADOWS. Usually, I don't make a big deal out of release days. There are no parties, no celebrations- I don't wake up with a glow of satisfaction. For one thing, I'm always working on something else. For another, as you're only as good as the last thing you didn't f*** up, releases are just a chance to potentially fail. (Can you tell how much fun I am to be around?) I typically just duck my head, stay focused on whatever I'm working on, and get excited for the event on Saturday (now THAT is something I get totally pumped for because I love hanging with my readers!)

The other reason I don't get all juiced up is because, when it comes to the BDBs, there's usually something in the book that is controversial, and I always worry about the market response.

Which brings me to my Rice Krispies, yo.

So, I know I've said it before, but I have no control over the stories. They are what they are, they do what they're going to do, and if I try to change anything, the pictures in my head shut and I got nothing.

Nada. Ziltch.

Anywho, with that in mind, let's go back to last summer...

So, there I was, in a small corner booth, eating stew-

No, wait. That's my favorite line from The Private Eyes with Tim Conway and Don Knotts.

(Once more with feeling, before people give up on this blog post.)

So, there I was, starting to outline THE SHADOWS, setting down the pictures I'd been shown in a document... when I realized something was off. To the point where I had to stop.

I can remember going to walk Nomers to try to get my head together.

The thing was, I'd known that Selena and Trez were going to end up together since LOVER AVENGED. There were actually a couple of deleted scenes up at the Great Camp of the pair of them together from that manuscript. Back then, like five years ago?, I thought it was really interesting to see this sequestered Chosen with Trez- but there just wasn't enough space in that particular book so they had to wait their turn.

I knew, eventually, they'd come to the surface.

Cue the passage of time. Fast forward a couple of years and a couple more stories, and it was funny, the idea of doing another Chosen falling in love- considering that I'd already done Phury and Cormia- was a total snooze to me. One of the issues with the Chosen is that, as they have been emerging from their cult-like upbringing, there isn't a lot of personality to them. They're just blank slates- and given that I suck at writing women to begin with, that is a big problem for an author with my specific set of weaknesses.

But, as I said, I'm stuck doing what I'm told- so last summer, when Trez and Selena's outlining process froze early on me, I wasn't sure what to make of it.

At that point, I'd seen first iAm, and then Trez, go back to the Territory, to try to find a cure for Selena's disease. Extrapolating from there- which I should really know better not to do- I assumed that iAm would find his love, and Trez would find his cure for his female, and then yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, classic HEA sh*t all over the place!!!!


NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE MY HEAs. It's just that felt so predictable.

Still, I was going to write it. Because that's all I can do.

So there I was, walking Nomers, thinking, thinking, thinking... when all of a sudden, I wanted to vomit.

It was at that moment that I realized I hadn't gotten the rest of Trez and Selena's story.

It was their hands, you see. I had a vision of her hand in his, the light and the dark skin twisted and turned as they held on to each other.

And Trez was leaning in....

Saying the words I had spoken to my Jonah the day he died.

"Are you ready? Is it time?"

Now let's go back two years. I lost my beloved golden retriever and writing partner, Jonah, aka Da Boo, back in 2013, in the fall. He had cancer, and it was the kind you couldn't treat because it doesn't respond to chemo. Thanks to my buddy, who's the best vet on the planet as far as I'm concerned, I had ten weeks with my boy, and though they were so very hard, I wouldn't have traded a moment of them.

See, I knew Jonah was going to die. The path report had told us exactly what he had and the sh** was lethal. I had no idea how long we had, though, so I was forced to get through each day, loving him and knowing, at any second, that I was absolutely, positively, going to lose him.

It was an extraordinary time. A time of unimaginable sorrow, of resonant joy, of terrible pain and fear, of great laughter.

Back to my Rice Krispies. So, I do what I'm told, write what I'm shown, follow the leader... and because that is my experience, when readers demand to know why I "killed off Wellsie," for example, I just shake my head and tell them that I didn't want her to die, either.

I don't "choose" things. I don't get to pick who ends up with whom, or what happens. I appreciate from the outside how it must appear, that the author is some how "in control," but that is simply not my experience.

I didn't want Selena to die. I can assure folks that the LAST thing I wanted to do was spend four months writing a book that put me right back into the head space I'd been in losing Jonah. Some of the scenes in THE SHADOWS made me cry so hard, I couldn't see the dayum computer screen. I hated editing it. I hated copyedits. I hated galleys.

Oh, and PS, it was so much fun pitching the outline to my boss: oh, yes, I know THE HEROINE F***KING DIES, but it's a really good...

So much fun. Yup.

But I think it's an extraordinary love story.

I've heard people say that conflict is the basis of all good storytelling. The more I'm in this business, the more I think that's true. And with regard to Trez and Selena, there is no greater conflict with their love... than her death.

I feel like Trez manned up in ways that surprised even himself. And Selena was strong and interesting and valuable because of what she had to face with such dignity and strength. Together, they bloomed as people and triumphed as a couple... but only because she dies at the end.

Otherwise, it would have been a yada, yada, yada, ending that wouldn't have resonated for any longer than the split second it took for you to close the back cover of the book.

Can I just say that the loss, the death, when it comes, makes me tear up even now.

And yup, just like LOVER AWAKENED, I will never read THE SHADOWS again.

To make a long story short- too late (Clue reference, sorry, I had to)- on this release day, I am worried about what readers will think of what's in this book. People were pretty p***ed when Wellsie died- and I totally understood way.

My hope is that even if folks don't like it, at least they get it. Because that means that I've done my job. But I also understand if people are like: seriously, I have enough bad sh** in real life going down, I don't need it in my fiction.

Trust me, I SO get that. I hated writing this book.

That's what I do, though. I write what I see, what I'm shown, what I'm told. Without Jonah's death, I don't think I could have written this book- maybe some will argue my unconscious side was working through his passing still and that's why Trez and Selena went down as they did. I don't know- it's not even all that relevant to me. As soon as I saw that pair of hands together, the rest of the book unlocked... and led to one of my favorite scenes that I've ever written.

THE SHADOWS ends with Trez, iAm and maichen in the kitchen at Sal's- and iAm is cooking the three of them dinner. When they're finished, Trez tells maichen he wishes she could have met Selena- and it becomes clear that iAm has told his mate all about her sister-in-law. Trez ends up looking to the ceiling, and realizing if he'd stayed in the Fade, iAm never would have found his own happiness: after years of living and suffering for Trez, iAm finally has his own, happy life.

Trez is able to give back to his brother- and he remains connected to his love, even after her death.

I'm not really sure how to end this post- except to say, to readers who are disappointed and/or angry, that I get it, and I'm sorry, and I wish it had been different, too. And I still think it's a beautiful love story.

I miss Jonah everyday. Still.

And I love my new little girl, Nomers. Not like I loved Jonah, but that was for him- and she and I have our own special bond that will never exist with anyone else.

That's kind of the way life goes.

Anyway, I'm sending hugs, and so many thanks for your support. Without you all, I wouldn't be doing what I love every single day.

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Published on March 31, 2015 07:58
Comments Showing 1-50 of 435 (435 new)    post a comment »

message 1: by LaWanna (new)

LaWanna Lewis Haven't read the book yet, but my heart breaks for Trez just reading this blog.

message 2: by Dotty (last edited Apr 01, 2015 05:30AM) (new)

Dotty Looking forward to this book even more after reading this! As Always, Thanks for the great reads! Also, now curious, does Trez get an HEA in a later book???

message 3: by Jackie (new)

Jackie Mousseau *hugs*

I lost my heart dog Roxy on January 9th this year and I cry every time I look at her urn so I get it.

I was never angry about Wellsie dying. I mean, it sucked majorly but you can't have every story be all rainbows and happy endings. People need to die sometimes in a series to keep it real.

I write fan fics for a tv series and I've had many characters die and I hate it because they're a part of me and it SUCKS and I've pissed people off you read my stuff but it has to happen and if people don't understand that...I don't know. It just has to be.

message 4: by Shannon (new)

Shannon Oh god my feels!

message 5: by Raff Duk (new)

Raff Duk mi sento morire, ma... non vedo l'ora di poterlo leggere in italiano

message 6: by Shelley A Reid (last edited Mar 31, 2015 08:17AM) (new)

Shelley A Reid I just want you to know that usually in every book I read of yours, something makes me cry. Thanks for the heads up. Your books are wonderful. To hear that your going to be expanding the series in a way is the best news since I had my son and got married! My friends and I are always trying to figure out who would play the BDB in a movie. So, if you ever need suggestions =). Please don't ever stop writing this fantastic series, I look forward to new books like the Stanley Cup Playoffs! Team Hollywood forever!!!

message 7: by Elfina (new)

Elfina Renee J.R Ward you're an amazing writer, and these conflicts, death and grief is never easy to write. Everyone gets an attachment to the characters and that how you draw the fans in. So it makes since if some or the majority of the readers gets peeved. Sure it hurts, but that goes to your wonderful creative abilities, getting us to connect on that fundamental level. To be able to drawl out those intense emotions means you've done your job. Tho I haven't read Shadows I eagerly look forward to doing so.

message 8: by Adean (new)

Adean My God! Just from reading this I'm crying

message 9: by Heidi (new)

Heidi I was balling my eyes out reading this book.

message 10: by Elizabeth H. (new)

Elizabeth H. Wow!!! Beautifully said WARDen. I am not disappointed in the spoiler because I wasn't vested in that character but I totally feel you on having to tell the story how it was meant to be. I'm getting my copy today and can't wait to read it!!! I'm hoping Layla's book is next!!

message 11: by Janna (last edited Mar 31, 2015 08:24AM) (new)

Janna Thank you so much for this post. I happened to get an early copy of the book and have been sitting quietly, slowly dying each day, while I wait for my friends to get their copies and read it. It was absolute perfection. I don't think you could have written this couple any other way. I loved the way that Rhage struggled with the fact that Mary got another chance, Jane got hers as well but why not Wellsie? Why not Selena? I think if Selena miraculously survived that it would have been a disservice to the storyline. The Chosen have been dealing with the Arrest for centuries. For it all of a sudden to be cured would by people that have only been familiar with it for a short time would just not be right.

I just loved this book. For the first time ever after reading a book, I felt a little ill after I closed it. You brought me to the highest of highs (the dance in the headlights - sigh) to the very bottom of lows (and there were so many!). I usually close my new BDB book and immediately turn it over and have another go at it. But, with this one, I wanted to let it sit. To let their relationship just be how it was the first time I read it.

I sort of feel like Trez as he's terrified on that roller coaster. I was terrified while reading the ups and downs of this book. Wondering where was this going? How were you going to save her? Could I continue going from being so happy and giggling to having an ugly cry? And then I finally decided that I just needed to hang on and enjoy the ride.

Another absolutely amazing addition to this series.

message 12: by Anise (last edited Mar 31, 2015 08:26AM) (new)

Anise Upshaw I remember when Wellsie died. I cried like a baby. A lot of the Cellies were so upset by her death. Shocked. This book is another journey and I am just along for the ride. Thank you WARDen for sharing once again.

message 13: by Cyndi (new)

Cyndi Omg I cried so hard with the death scene but reading your blog it makes total sense

message 14: by Clare (new)

Clare Cahill I for one would not read your books if they had safe, predictable endings. Not read it yet but i know it will be excellent and live up to mine and many others expectations, keep rocking warden we love you.

message 15: by Jennifer (last edited Mar 31, 2015 08:37AM) (new)

Jennifer Even after reading the spoiler ( I was just too impatient ) I get why the stories goes where it does. I got it with Wellsie (did I like it? Hell no) but death is a part of life... Whether in real life or the lives of our favorite characters. If everyone lived and got their HEA all the time, it would become very predictable and repetitive. True fans of yours understand how your process works and understands that you are just the recorder of their stories. You write what you are shown. No more, no less. And that's why YOU are my favorite author of all time. Don't ever change or try to change your methods. Kudos to you for writing yet another tearjerker and I can't wait for my book to arrive! BDB Fan for Life❤

message 16: by Angie (new)

Angie Bee I just started it. I always said Warden to listen to your Rice Krispies, they haven't flaked out on you yet.

message 17: by Nersy (new)

Nersy Hearne Half way thru the book, but had heard she died. I'm glad I knew ahead of time. But it's happens good people die. She is my favorite Chosen. I am loving the story!

message 18: by Amanda (new)

Amanda Gervais I don't think I've ever cried that hard for a book in my life. And, like all your other stories, you are completely right. It could not have gone any other way. It's painful and joyful and complicated. Just like real love. At first I did not like how sudden the end came about. There was really no build up. Just like Trez and Selena, it took me completely by surprise and tore me apart. But, again, just like real life, that's what rang true. This is my favourite book. Hands down.

message 19: by Jaime (new)

Jaime Alderete I'm glad you keep your characters real. You may think you are bad at writing women but I identify with the all the shellans on one level or another. They are real even though your stories are of other species, they are real beings. We know them, hate them and love them...Sometimes we have to say good bye to them too...keep it keepin real. Thank you for sharing your imagination without us.

message 20: by Cindy (new)

Cindy Macpherson I think Trez and Selena's story is critical. It'll show readers how they'll move on but will never forget their love. Life moves forward not matter how much you want to hold it back. You need to adapt and live your life like they'd want you too. Trez is off to a good start. I lost my mom in November. I didn't get a chance to say good bye. All my family did but not me. It made my heart happy to see that Trez had that opportunity. And WARden? Next time included a box of tissues with your pre-order! My hubby thought I lost it when I was sitting there sobbing!

message 21: by Trish (new)

Trish I finished The Shadows late last night (this morning, whatever) and I had trouble falling asleep long after reading the last page. I think you did an epic job writing THAT moment between Trez and Selena. It was heartbreaking beyond belief, but I truly believe their story couldn't have happened any other way. Thank you for writing what you see and not what you think your readers want to read.

message 22: by Renee (new)

Renee Great post! I think that's part of what I love about your writing, not everything is rainbows and butterflies, and sometimes you just have to feel! Can't wait to read this one!

message 23: by Manu (new)

Manu Blanco I think soul mates make a good end, no matter if they're together or not. Selena's death was just another step in the series, thanks for writing such an amazing storie Ward.
Hugs from Colombia!

message 24: by Kelly (new)

Kelly While I hate not having an ending I like, I GREATLY appreciate the heads up. I would have been extremely upset without this warning. Thank you thank you thank you.

message 25: by ÖcherPrinte (new)

ÖcherPrinte I cried several times during I have read the book. And I thought, why is she doing this. But then I thought, hey, they will have their HEA anyway, so what will the solution they are going to find to let Selena stay alive. And what should I say, I was absolutly surprised, that she really died. I totally agree with you, it better worked out this way. I think it is really breave to let a carakter die. And it makes the whole series more lifelike.
Thanks for the story. I am looking forward to your next.

message 26: by Sheri (new)

Sheri Schreier well now Im sorry I read the spoiler. Now I dont know if I can cause Im still crying from Wellsie. But because I love JRW and she crys with us and has no control, I will steel my insides, grab tissues and continue on. Please JR, keep em coming - looking forward to your next in Dec and thank you for your honesty. Cant live without you and the BDB

message 27: by Vavita (new)

Vavita I will get my book in a week. This was a Big spoiler. I will love the book anyway because YOU are the coolest writer

message 28: by Liza (new)

Liza I was lucky enough to get a review copy and have to say you did an amazing job with Trez and Selena's story. Once I realized Selena was going to die, I bawled like a baby. Ugly, snot-slinging tears, but I also realized it was the only way their story worked.

I also love iAm's love story with maichen and thought it was just as well done.

message 29: by Esther (new)

Esther Love the series!!! & was waiting for this book like forever... dont mind the spoiler. of course would've loved if the ending was rosey for all involved. but guess u need the bad in order to appreciate the good :)
But have to admit, was looking forward to the next book in the series cause wanted to know what's gonna happen with Xcor (sorry, me think he rock's!!!) & the Chosen Layla, is there more of them (?!)

message 30: by Nersy (new)

Nersy Hearne Ok on second thought, I can't, I have to stop reading a minute, dredging up some very sad memories.

message 31: by Megan (new)

Megan Nicole Haines I'm so glad I read this post before I began reading The Shadows. Reading about your sweet Boo has brought me to tears at work. My cats are my children, so I feel your pain at losing a fur baby. As always I can't wait to indulge in the BDB world, your books are amazing.

message 32: by Doris (new)

Doris Bleecher Well I am already crying and I have not opened the book yet. And I have to say I already get it so like JR Ward I will probably read and cry over the book but will never read it again. But that is OK because a good story never leaves you and returns from time to time in your mind and heart to make you love the characters even more. Thank you for bringing out all the emotions and thought provoking scenes over all these years. I am going to read and savor this book.

message 33: by Olga (last edited Mar 31, 2015 09:29AM) (new)

Olga Lis I think you should write a story about yourself and kill yourself in the book. Maybe in that way you will really understand when your fan gets attached to the characters. And you wont do that anymore. The Chosen, especially Selena has been the characters I loved the most because they are not understood by others, just like I am. You say that they are not interesting to write about. I completely disagree with your opinion. There can be interesting things even in the most boring pple, believe me.

I am ao dissapointed and angry and I have cried the entire 8 hours of reading The Shadows. With Selena's death, it also died a part of me. Mayhap you just should write that your books are drama and not paranormal fantasy romances.
I am not sure if I will be able to keep reading your books. I have been your fan for such a long time, loving each book and I thought you have already understood that killing characters is not something we fans are happy about. As you correctly say, I personally am over with my shitty reality problems and hiding in your stories was something that distracted me and made me feel better. This book? I was mourning constantly about Trez and Selena and really have counted the pages to make this pain finally end. Do you know what is the worst thing? It is that I have lost all my love to these shitty books that kill the main characters. If you didnt know how to write about their relationship, you shouldnt even begin that.

message 34: by Sara (new)

Sara My feels.. *hugs*

You have all my support. I still miss Wellsie, too, but I'm glad your books are different. In the real life, there's no HEA and I appreciate things out of the box, especially since the Paranormal romance box is very small. :)

message 35: by Angel (new)

Angel Payne What a gutsy, honest, beautiful, heartfelt expression of what you knew had to be done with this book. I admire the hell out of you for staying true to the characters and speaking this truth for them...yet another reason you're one of the writers who inspires me to better my own craft, each and every day. Thank you for your courage and truth. And yes, I had a Jonah, too. Her name was Princess. I still miss her every damn day. Hopefully, the two of them are romping in the poochie fade, barking encouragement to our tapping fingers before they run off to sniff each other's butts and chase translucent butterflies. *Smile*

message 36: by Michele Lacroix (new)

Michele Lacroix I have lost many forever dogs, I get it. I also lost my mom in 2011,I morn her every day. But she's still with me always and so are my forever dogs.

message 37: by Laura (new)

Laura Johnson I'm a die hard fan. So, I'm still going to love it no matter what!!! Even in the Brother's world people are going to die. These aren't fairy tales, sh*t happens and I love seeing those left behind become stronger because of it.

message 38: by Lisa (new)

Lisa It's always the journey through the story I love, the end result is not what we want at times but the tosses and turns through it is what makes your writing come to life. There is a reason your fans order your books two or more months in advance..we do it because the thought of missing a trip with you and The Brothers will hurt more that what ever will happen in the book. Big Hug <3

message 39: by Juany (new)

Juany I haven't started The Shadows yet but am glad I read this spoiler. Although my love of reading is to escape and I usually stay away from books that are going to bring me down, I know that sometimes it can't be a HEA. Actually, some of the best books I've read haven't had a HEA and they still stay with you long after you've finished.
The BDB series is the only paranormal series I still read. After all this time, I still find myself rereading my favorite ones because I actually miss the Brothers! Keep 'em coming, Ward and we'll keep reading!

message 40: by Jackie Hernandez (last edited Mar 31, 2015 09:29AM) (new)

Jackie  Hernandez I haven't received my book yet but I am not sorry I read this blog (spoiler included). I was crying when reading this and discovering how it will end so I know I will be totally hopeless when reading the book. I must admit that I was expecting something different like finding a cure for her disease and blah, blah, blah... and they lived happily ever after... so being in shock is an understatement when I read she dies at the end. Throughout the series there have been things, characters, and stories that I've loved, things that I have hated and things that I have come to love and see from your perspective. Have I liked the way everything has turned out? Hell Nooo.. Do I liked all the characters??? Abso-f***ing-luty NO (there are 1 or 2 shellans I can do without) but that is what makes a series like this one a successful one, controversy and the fact that you have been faithful to the story and the way you see it, even though you know some fans are going to be disappointed with the path taken. If you write what your fans want with the characters they loved not only will be very difficult (pleasing everybody is impossible) but also boring.
So personally I will keep reading the series as long as you keep writing it. I am very excited and can't wait for the first book of the legacy and the only thing left for me to say is... Hooray for your Rice Krispies... You Rock!! ... plain and simple...

message 41: by Dawn (new)

Dawn i can't waittttttttttttttttt!

message 42: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Riley The book ended the way it was supposed to. It hurt like hell reading it,but it opens the future for Trez to find another HEA someday.

message 43: by Carinne (new)

Carinne Zappola I can tell this book is going to wreck me. I've taken off work to read it when it arrives. I'm sure I'm going to cry my eyes out, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

message 44: by Julie (new)

Julie Guess it was pointless for her to post spoiler alerts if it was going to be spoiled in the visible comments. Thanks a lot.

message 45: by Stacey (new)

Stacey Mcfadgen Fiction is what it is. You see it we want to read it. We get attached to characters because you bring them to life. However, there is a circle to life and your shown that in your visions and we get to read that in your books. I think that no matter what happens in your stories I will always want to see what's going to happen next because as much fiction as it is some of these characters deal with very real and concerning issues. I love psychology of all kinds and your BDB sure go through a lot of it. Let the pictures shine, hear what you are told and write like everyone is waiting to know what you know. Thank-you for doing what you do.

message 46: by Victoria (new)

Victoria Like pretty much everyone else has said, it sucks that certain characters had to die, but then we wouldn't have the stories that we have today. I got hooked on this series just after Payne's book came out, I was never a "reader" of any books, I was bored one day and wanted to read, and that day I bought 8 books and 3 of those 8 were the brotherhood books, I have to thank J.R Ward for getting me addicted to reading!! I love every book and can't put it down til I'm done of that book and once I'm done of the series i impatiently wait for the next book to come out.

message 47: by Katie (new)

Katie Out of all of this, I'm curious as to why you won't read Lover Awakened again? That's my favorite of your series, and I've read he's your favorite brother. Is it because his back story is so terribly heartbreaking?

message 48: by Christy (new)

Christy I had a feeling you were not going to give Trez the usual HEA..or us either for that matter. I haven't read the book yet, but I will because you are one of the most amazing writers out there and you do your thing so incredibly well. I know I'll cry regardless of this spoiler, but I always need to know ahead of time what I'm going up against when it comes to books. I'm glad my suspicions were confirmed and still look forward to this new leg of the journey.

message 49: by Jody (new)

Jody Rhoton First of all, my condolences on Jonah. I lost two beloved pets this year, they take a piece of you with them. Secondly, I read this before starting the book and it changes nothing for me. I still love the books and always will. People who don't expect for a character to die in a book occasionally to me are somewhat unrealistic. That is my opinion and I'm allowed to have it as others are allowed to have theirs. Even in fairy tales, people die. Life goes on, I still think we are better to have lived and lost then to never live at all. Thank you for such a wonderful series and such great characters.

message 50: by Darchelle (new)

Darchelle Can't a brotha get a break?!!!

Through thick and thin I've been a fan and supporter of your work for many years. I was devastated when Wellsie was killed and still think it was senseless and heartless to rid the series of the only long living shellan that was "truly happy". Despite the tragedy of it, I continued with the series because there were so many other incredible characters to love, hate, laugh and enjoy. However, I am so sad and disappointed to learn that Selena, the supposed heroine, meets her demise ... in her own book. We knew Selena's disease was incurable and like most incurable diseases, the result usually ends with death. Talk about predictability ... to let the main character die and pass into the fade is so "predictable", very "unimaginative" and something you're becoming known for. The one expectation I have with any book that's labeled PNR is an "HEA". I expect PARANORMAL ROMANCE, not HORROR! I truly wish I'd known Trez was given the shaft before I preordered the book. I have no interest in reading a tear jerker and spending my precious time in a world of mourning. If I wanted that all I have to do is pick up any newspaper or watch the evening news for free. I refuse to pay for it.

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