Smiling For The Camera

I don't photograph well. That is not a statement made in vain or vanity in order to cover up any physical deficits of beauty that do not translate to the digital medium. It is the plain simple truth. And after much analysis by poring over scores of awkward and embarrassing photos on Facebook, I think I have pinpointed the problem. It's the smile. My smile, rather.

I don't know how to smile on command. I mean I can do it for a split second maybe. But, with my friend going, "Ready? Ready?" - I think I'll be too late with my forced, god-awful, crooked-teeth smile, that I start a bit early. And then I feel like an idiot. I mean why do I have my teeth bared? My cheeks aren't supposed to be scrunched up. I probably look creepy. Shit my nose is itching. So, I have to stop with the pretend smile. And the flash goes off. That is if the flash goes off. Most of time, nowadays, no flash goes off and everyone's taking multiple photos. You would think that that would be my saving grace - that in at least one of the numerous photos that are automatically clicked, one would present me in a non-monstrous or non-high look, but alas, such is the magnitude of my face's photo-phobia that I don't get a good one even out of ten successive photos. Once, I had to get some passport photos clicked at a professional studio. The guy taking the photo was frustrated pretty quickly. Such experiences abound in the life of a non-photogenic person. I have made my peace with it.