Grieving
After falling on the 28th of January, my 91-year-old grandmother passed away just yesterday. Every second without her in this world has been devastating. Since her getting sick and now passing... I have been been thinking about some things. The things that go unsaid about grieving when you don't have a man to hold your hand, and you are still in the dating market.
My first FACT is the most annoying (because of how dumb it is.)
It turns out there are two types of ex-boyfriends:
1) The guys who text/call you after your grandma passes away
2) The guys who don't
The boys that didn't reach out ALWAYS find the time to call me when they're intoxicated. And yet, in my time of need, they can't find the 5 seconds to shoot a text. Now, am I surprised by their stupidity? The answer is hell-to-the-NO. These boys were broken up with for a reason- and that has really shined through the past few days. Everyone and their sister has found the time to text me, but guys I used to say "I love you" to did not.
While talking to a couple friends about grieving- I realized that many women feel this need to be comforted by a man while grieving. Is that an innate thing that women need- or is that something we've learned from our environment? When family members died, we watched our fathers hold our mothers, our uncles hold our aunts, and our grandfathers hold our grandmothers. Maybe that's something that women expect from men as a result.
That being said, I'm pretty sure if there was a guy at my side at this time, (and if every guy I really wanted to call me did), I still wouldn't be okay. How could I be? She was everything to our family. The glue that held us all together.
The reality is grieving for someone that you loved is hard- whether you have a man wiping away your tears or not.
But, that being said- it does make me realize what I want, what I deserve, and what I need. My grandmother had a loving man by her side for most of her life- and that is the kind of connection I will be looking for and one day finding. A man that my grandmother would approve of 100%.
I'm gonna end my post with my favorite quote. It's by the band FM Static (and is used in my novel, Barren.) The lyrics are:
"And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you
Tonight"
Love,
Liz
My first FACT is the most annoying (because of how dumb it is.)
It turns out there are two types of ex-boyfriends:
1) The guys who text/call you after your grandma passes away
2) The guys who don't
The boys that didn't reach out ALWAYS find the time to call me when they're intoxicated. And yet, in my time of need, they can't find the 5 seconds to shoot a text. Now, am I surprised by their stupidity? The answer is hell-to-the-NO. These boys were broken up with for a reason- and that has really shined through the past few days. Everyone and their sister has found the time to text me, but guys I used to say "I love you" to did not.
While talking to a couple friends about grieving- I realized that many women feel this need to be comforted by a man while grieving. Is that an innate thing that women need- or is that something we've learned from our environment? When family members died, we watched our fathers hold our mothers, our uncles hold our aunts, and our grandfathers hold our grandmothers. Maybe that's something that women expect from men as a result.
That being said, I'm pretty sure if there was a guy at my side at this time, (and if every guy I really wanted to call me did), I still wouldn't be okay. How could I be? She was everything to our family. The glue that held us all together.
The reality is grieving for someone that you loved is hard- whether you have a man wiping away your tears or not.
But, that being said- it does make me realize what I want, what I deserve, and what I need. My grandmother had a loving man by her side for most of her life- and that is the kind of connection I will be looking for and one day finding. A man that my grandmother would approve of 100%.
I'm gonna end my post with my favorite quote. It's by the band FM Static (and is used in my novel, Barren.) The lyrics are:
"And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you
Tonight"
Love,
Liz
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Victoria
(new)
Mar 12, 2015 12:00AM
Beautiful
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