"When I was six years old, I had a vision where I saw everything...

"When I was six years old, I had a vision where I saw everything that was going to happen in my life. Jesus showed me that my life was going to be very tough, but if I stuck with him, and prayed, and cried when I needed to, and ate lots of chocolate, I’d be OK."
"Where were you when you had this vision?"
"At the feet of my foster mother. She was kicking me in the stomach."