“Traitor”, They Said.

My book collections from China 
Today my mother calls me and says: "Are you still writing stories in internet? Now most of the people may see you're Muslim in handphone.

People will be laughing at you because you are 'traitor 叛徒‘. Make our family ashamed. So you're telling public that malays religion 马来教 is so great right? "

Nope, it's not the most worst criticism I have ever heard in my life. I'm fine with it. I don't mind if there're old friends knew that I'm a Muslim now. Just go ahead do whatever they want, telling my family, criticize, making fun of.. I'm still here to tell my very own story.

I'm not here to criticize Buddhism, I'm here to tell everyone that I was so pious in praying till one day I asked myself, "what if God.. is not even in human form?" I had no idea why would I think like that, I still went alone to various temple on my own after I've got driving license, looking and praying at different deities.

The harder I pray to deities that please show me the answer, the messier of my thoughts. I have too many questions that's seemed to be remain unanswered. Every visitors come here to ask for wealth, health, fortune, marriage, every good things in our life. No one simply come into temple to talk about philosophy. What prayers needed is just fulfilled the emptiness in heart. As atheism always said, religions is for those who afraid of the dark.

I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm here to ask who is our Creator, why we're here and where we'll go. Isn't it sounds absurd to ask who is the real Creator in temple? Therefore I was turned out to be an atheist in the age of 18 after I've finished my studies in Chinese school. If there's anyone telling me I have embraced Islam due to the influence of Malay, please bear in mind I've spent 11 years of studying in Chinese school. That assumption is invalid.

Why would a Chinese like me would crack my head in reading the language that I'm barely passed in spm is due to looking for answers. Since I couldn't find the answer in my Chinese books collection, I tried to look for the answer in English books. Apparently western have the strong spirits in seeking truth, whatever discussion they're in is excluding superstition and religion matters, it's so called as Secular system.

Going for such a long way, found the facts I always wanted in Islam... and I'm being called as Traitor today. What's most ridiculous is there's even a few Muslim backstabbing me in reality.

However this is not an emotional mini article. I just want to say thank you to everyone of you, my blog and book readers for accepting who I am. How I wish to meet everyone of you face to face, for accepting that I'm a Chinese and Muslim without showing hypocrisy. I'm really appreciate that.



As for my good old friends, just deal with it and get a life since I've been long gone from Ipoh area.