An Up and Down Farewell to an Up and Down Year
I was reading back through some of my old New Years Eve blog posts and realized I have the same reaction to most years: I always hope the new year will be a happy one because the previous one was challenging in some way. While I admire my perpetual hope (which, it seems, does spring eternal), I have to admit I can be a tad over-simplistic in summing an entire year as either good or tough (usually tough).
Here’s a picture of Wes and I from my freshman year of college for no reason at all.
Here’s the thing 2014 has taught me about adulthood: Things are often difficult. People get sick, money runs out, kids struggle, family members disappoint/antagonize/take-your-pick. Bodies fail, natural disasters ruin things, plans go awry.
Often, you can do something about it, but sometimes you just can’t. You can’t change people, you can’t fix some injuries, you can’t make every dream come true.
Wes and I both reached high this year. We attained some goals, but as many dreams as came true also came crashing down on our heads. In retrospect, there was nothing we could have done differently to make things turn out better, sometimes things just don’t work.
I know I’m being vague here, but that’s because you don’t need to know the lyrics to recognize this particular tune. I’m sure you’ve been disappointed by something. It sucks.
But here’s what I learned this year: It’s okay to feel disappointed. It took me twenty-nine years to realize you can sit with an emotion, especially if it’s an unpleasant one, without trying to change it, because sometimes you can’t change it and then you get to add futility to whatever emotional cocktail you were experiencing before.
I’ll admit, 2014 was…up and down. Not my favorite year by far, but it had enough bright points to make me realize that there’s never going to be a magical year wherein everything comes up roses and we don’t struggle with something. The key, I think, is taking it in stride, and for me taking it in stride means acknowledging that I do not have the power to control everything. The best I can do is be proactive, try to make wise decisions, and weather whatever storms come our way without beating my head against the wall.
I definitely have hopes for 2015, and from what I can tell it’s going to be a good year, but I’m not going to hope it’s a better year than 2014. Instead, I’m going to hope I don’t forget what I learned in 2014 and will be able to use it to help me roll with whatever 2015 brings. Kind of boring, but sounds pretty darn mature, huh?
Regardless of my newfound, uh, New Years boringness, tradition is tradition so here are my hopes for 2015:
My number one hope is for a truly excellent, engaging, challenging job for Wes. I hope he gets offered a job that will encourage and empower him and keep him learning constantly.
I also hope for a successful book launch. Great googly moogly, Bai Tide is coming out in, like, four months!!!
I hope to take our kids to the beach in Oregon again. That was a remarkable vacation and I would love to repeat it.
I hope for fantastic health insurance so Wes and I can address our various health conditions without spending every last penny we earn.
I hope for a long, glorious summer.
I hope to make it to the gym on a regular basis, a hope that will be much more likely to happen after I get more joint injections for my knee.
I hope to attend ThrillerFest in NYC again in July. Christmas is nice and all, but that’s the most wonderful time of the year for me, hands down.
My hope for all of you is that you’ll have a lovely New Years Eve and that 2015 will start off with good news for all of you. Thank you for reading my blog posts (and my books)! May 2015 be our best year yet!
