Life into FB status updates

Tiah Beautement... ... took children to see 'petting zoo' at local park and witnessed tortoise sex. Children concluded the creatures were having an argument. ...took children to beach where they overheard a woman repeatedly yelling 'Jesus Christ' into her cell phone. Children mused, 'She must go to church a lot, hey?' ...has reached the unfortunate conclusion that her extreme fatigue is not strictly a matter of burning the candle at both ends, but is also due to a losing battle with pathogens. ... is in bed with laptop holding a one woman 80s revival, courtesy of Youtube. ... feared there...