Chapter 79. A course in healing.
December 22, 2014
Not all those who wander are lost. ― J.R.R. Tolkien
On the 12th of July, 2012, I felt as though I had come to that critical crossroad in my life—you know, the proverbial intersection where when faced with a life-altering situation I was supposed to make the all-important decision that ultimately would determine the course of my life from that point forward—but ironically, as I stood there looking around, with the map of my life in hand, I found myself at an intersection where there was no other road to choose from but the one I was on.
Behind me was the endless distance I had covered over the previous 52 years—the very route I had chosen for myself. I could see it all so clearly on the map I had drawn, only now it looked incredibly long and faded. And as I thought of how far I had come, it began to fill me with a sense of sadness. How could I have missed the exit along the way that would have taken me around all of this? How did I not see the signs? I couldn’t believe that I’d come all this way with such a clear vision of where I was going in life, only to unexpectedly come to a roadblock in the middle of nowhere—a roadblock in the form of Parkinson’s disease.
But as I turned away from my past and looked forward, the map of my life suddenly became a blank piece of parchment. Afterall, maps are essentially nothing more than documents laid out by one who has travelled a path before us, and I certainly had never been down this road. But there was clearly a road in front of me. The road however was one paved by the footsteps of others—Parkinson’s patients who had already fashioned a map complete with treacherous mountains to climb as well as valleys so low they walk you through Hell. I knew in my heart that wasn’t the route I wanted to take.
But what is a person supposed to do when they don’t want to follow the map of another? How was I to know where to go if I was to venture off in another direction of my choosing? My map was blank.
It’s impossible to demonstrate courage without the presence of fear. Only when we are willing to venture into that which we are unfamiliar with, can we discover the true meaning of life and all the beauty that it holds. It is at the crossroads of our lives where often our own fears consume us and try to hold us back. Our greatest journeys are those that take us through all that we fear and allow us to become vulnerable.
For me, the answer was to turn to the compass of my heart for guidance. Certainly if I could continue to show trust and faith in the invisible force that had always pointed me in the right direction, I could find a much easier route around this, a way to continue forward, and maybe even discover a path to my healing.
I knew in my heart I had no control over receiving a Parkinson’s diagnosis, and I certainly wasn’t feeling a need to hold myself accountable; Parkinson’s was not my punishment—but it was most definitely my obligation.
Choosing to create a map of my own was my obligation to the Universe I live in, that we all live in, an obligation to my children and something that I felt I owed to myself. An obligation, because by choosing to venture off the easy path (the path created by others) requires facing fears and dictating the path of your own life on your own terms and in the process you can create a light inside others to do the same for themselves.
Going through life without a map is not something to be afraid of, on the contrary, it’s incredibly refreshing, as you’re no longer obligated to follow the path created by the footsteps of another. If the life you dream of living requires venturing off on your own, don’t be afraid to get off at the next exit. Put your trust in the compass of your heart, make your own map as you go, and let your spirit guide you forward through life on your terms.
Follow your own path.
More to come.
A NOTE TO MY LOYAL READERS:
There may be an extended period before my next post as in approximately two weeks I will be following the compass of my heart to begin a new journey of discovery. I will be attending the first of four, 5-day spiritual retreats (one in each season of the year) with a refined focus on physical and spiritual healing; both a healing of myself as well as learning to share that service with others. I am very excited for this next part of my life journey and I will be anxious to share it with you when I return. Thank you all for your continued love and support. ~Robert
Tremors in the Universe is available in e-book, paperback and hardcover through Balboa Press @ http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000956591/Tremors-in-the-Universe.aspx or at http://www.tremorsintheuniverse.com
A portion of the authors proceeds are being donated to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research
Tremors in the Universe Copyright © 2014 by Robert Baittie
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