My Very First Royalty Report...Yay?

Let me tell you how much I had been anticipating my first royalty report.  After seeing my book on a few Amazon Best Seller lists, 19 (give or take a couple) interviews on radio and/or blog talk radio, a couple of interviews in the local newspapers and a 4-week long blog tour, I thought Madelyne is going to have a darn good Christmas this year.  Ummm....yeah.  Reality check!

To say I was perplexed is an understatement.  Baffled, confused, disappointed - more feelings along those lines.  I mean, I wasn't expecting to shoot to millionaire, hundred-thousaner, or even ten-thousander status BUT I definitely thought my royalties were going to be a lot more than what my report showed.

Okay - so even getting past the money part - I only sold x number of books?  It just doesn't make sense.  In a little less than a year, I've had over 254,000 visitors to my website.  When my book first came out, it was sandwiched between Derek Hough's memoir and Duck Dynasty's memoir.  Not a bad place to be.  So why are my numbers so low?

I honestly don't have an answer to that.  I've spent a good amount of money on marketing.  For the past four months, I amped up my marketing and have been practically glued to my computer for 10-12 hours a day.  To not see the results I expected, it's definitely a letdown.  

The weird thing is, however, I didn't get upset.  I'm a total type-A personality and if something in my anal little world is rocked, I get upset, sometimes to the point of hysterical crying.  (Don't worry, people, I have a great therapist and a never-ending supply of Xanax.)  I think my parents were actually waiting for the breakdown last night.  My Dad sat on the couch holding a pillow and my mom had her hand on the Kleenex box.  

I've learned a lot in this industry in 12 short months.  I've learned that less than 1% of authors are offered a publishing contract.  I've interviewed authors who tell me that writing is what makes them who they are and they didn't have a choice BUT to be an author.  I've read self-published books that make me shake my head in disbelief that another talented author should be on the NY Times Bestseller list.  

I also learned things about myself.  My book gave me closure - closure that I never will get from my ex-husband.  I've met so many wonderful people on social media that I never would have had it not been for my book.  I've been interviewed by people in Jamaica, Hawaii, Australia, China, and who knows where else.  My book has led to opportunities that I only dreamed of - motivational speaking, my own column in a huge online magazine, my blog, etc.

But the best reward?  Every time I get an e-mail through my website or other social media avenue thanking me for opening up and sharing my struggles, I know I made the right decision.  My goal in writing my book was to touch upon two important messages:  the negative stigma of postpartum depression and the emotional abusive side of a domestic violent relationship.  I achieved that goal.  Check that box off my bucket list.

I've given away more books that people have bought and I don't care.  I gave away a book a day in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month last month.  I've gotten reviews on Amazon and Goodreads from people I don't know saying that my book helped them or someone they knew.  

Isn't that why we write?  Do we write for the money or do we write for the love of writing and sharing our love with others?  Let me tell you right now, if you are in it for the money, stop writing and find a new path in life or you will be perpetually disappointed.  But, if you write because it's in your blood, then don't repress your talent.  Share it or you are doing US a disservice.  

So when Kim Kardashian's "Selfies" book hits the shelves next year and shoots to the top of the NY Times Bestseller list, don't be frustrated.  Don't compare yourself to a woman who takes pictures of herself all day.  She'll make a boatload of money to add to her already millions of dollars from doing nothing.  I mean, money is nice and I'm not going to sit here and say it's not.  I would love a 6,000 square foot house with a movie theatre, pool, jacuzzi, and whatever else.  But unless I make a sex tape (believe me, that is something you do NOT want to see), try to break into the acting world at the age of 36 and much bigger than a size 2, or become one of the lucky less than .000000001% of authors who can live on their writing salary, my writing will always be a secondary income.  And that's okay.

I love to write and it makes me happy.  Isn't that what life is about?  Enjoying what you love and doing what makes you happy.  I will continue to write for the love of the craft.  I will continue to support my self-published or small-publishing house author friends on my blog and other social media places.  And when I feel inspiration hit, I will find a cozy spot with my laptop and continue working on my second book.

So if you find yourself in my shoes after your first royalty report, just remember why became an author in the first place.  Was it to sell books or was it to share your talent?  Think about it.  And then keep writing.  :)

Book sales are great.  Inspiring people is better.  Saving lives is priceless.