Unexpected Consequences of Exercise

There’s the good–improved health, weight loss–the bad–chafing–and then there’s the stuff nobody thinks of.  The, not so much ugly but completely unexpected.  And, yes, sometimes ugly.  Before a lot of things happened that aren’t interesting, and that derailed my health, I was athletic.  No olympian, but I enjoyed sports.  Now that I’m getting back into the swing of things, health-wise, once again, I am once again enjoying sports.  Specifically for me, running-type activities (which includes cross training with the TreadClimber, which is my favorite piece of fitness equipment ever).  Will what’s happened to me happen to you?  Who knows.  This is hardly medical advice and everyone’s body is different.  I work out–and hard–60 to 90 minutes per day, 6 to 7 days per week.  Not because I feel like I have to although let’s get real here, moving around a bit is pretty vital, but because I legitimately enjoy doing so.  That 90 minutes is often some of the best 90 minutes of my day.

I’ve said this before but nothing–for me–kills stress like a serious workout.  And by “serious workout” I don’t mean a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood.  I mean the kind of pulse-pounding, knock your socks off workout that leaves you more drenched in sweat than you thought possible.  Which, for some of us (especially at different times in our lives) has been a walk around the block.  The secret is to keep pushing yourself, to keep challenging yourself.  Never rest on your laurels.

But, that all being said, it’s also really important (I think) to laugh at yourself.  Because, let’s face it, sometimes exercise is gross.  When you’re pushing yourself hard, every day, you may or may not…

Start craving weird food.  For me that’s, among other things, hummus.  Which I traditionally do not like, except when I’m a) pregnant or b) training for an endurance event.  The rest of the time I’m pretty much like, gross, why.  Then, for whatever reason, I start placing demands on my body and it’s like a switch gets flipped.  I literally cannot stop eating hummus (well I can, but it takes a supreme effort of will; I decided to write this post because I literally needed a way to distract myself from eating all the hummus in the house because, calories).  I also find myself craving black beans, and other sources of protein.

There’s some interesting information on protein here, via the No Meat Athlete.  I’m not a vegetarian, at least not in the strictest sense; I will eat meat, and occasionally do, but generally meat is a once a month thing for me.  I enjoy turkey on Thanksgiving, and the occasional burger–a craving that’s eased up since I started taking iron supplements (and yes, talk to your doctor before taking any supplements)–but as a general rule I’m happier with beans.  The other night, I found myself cramming fistfuls of Cheerios into my mouth.

As I’ve gotten back into shape, my cravings have changed.  My yearning for cupcakes is, at this point, purely psychological.  The food I’m actually craving is all pretty healthy.  Which, looking back on it, I realize was always the case.  When I was (yes, don’t laugh) a college athlete, my meal of choice was a vegetarian burrito and a smoothie.  Not one of those fake sherbet-laden fruit-flavored milkshakes but a real smoothie.  I lived, at that point, on a steady diet of fruit, beans, avocados, corn, rice, and more fruit.  With, because this was college, the occasional pizza thrown in.

The more demands you place on your body, and the more attention you pay to your nutrition, the more interesting this subject becomes: what your body actually needs, and how it’s trying to tell you what it needs.  It can be enlightening to discuss your observations with your health care professional.  And also to, the next time you think you want refined sugar, check if you actually want protein instead.

Spontaneous colon cleansing.  Colonics are dangerous.  But so is all the random, er, crap that hangs out in those miles of intestines you’ve got stored away inside.  Want to expel decades old detritus like never before?  Start running.  Yes, runner’s trots are a thing–but honestly, after a few years of inactivity, hitting the pavement can really get things going.  Which, to be honest, can get pretty gross.

Skin problems.  Exercise-induced acne is a thing.  So is chafing.  I recommend compression shorts.  The problem is that, once you start losing weight, your compression shorts may stop compressing and indeed fall down around your ankles while you run.  Don’t let this happen to you!  It’s not “splurging” to buy–and continue to buy–clothes that fit.  Especially when your next door neighbor’s thug of a middle schooler likes to stare at you while you’re on the treadmill.  Through the window.  With binoculars.  And you may or may not have seen the sun glinting off the lenses.

Finding out that you actually enjoy this.

Have I missed anything?  Is this the most boring post you’ve ever read?  Chime in!