Weak Assumptions
When my wife and I first moved to the Chicago area as proud parents of our firstborn son, we both noticed something strange when we went out to eat as a family—our service often stunk. Everything seemed to take longer to happen, and sometimes we felt invisible. Being new to the area, at first I figured that this was the Chicago way. I had seen the Untouchables movie a time or two, but once we got a babysitter and just the two of us went out, our service was fantastic. The Chicago way was not one of all-around bad service. Rather, we were first-time parents who did not know that wait-staff often do not try as hard serving families with kids as they would other types of diners.
Of course, not every waiter or waitress operates this way all the time. I can think of several instances when our family received excellent service. After sharing my observation to friends who used to wait tables, I heard about a vicious cycle afoot at restaurants. The wait staff assumes certain people (in my case, families with small children) will tip poorly no matter how hard the wait staff tries, so they will not waste any extra effort to provide these people with excellent service. From my point of view, if I receive lackluster service, I am tempted to tip accordingly. Another family with small children tipping poorly reinforces the wait-staff's assumption, so the next time someone else of my type dines in the restaurant, the vicious cycle will repeat itself.
Assumptions stink. Assumptions keep us locked into our old habits, whether they are helpful or not. Assumptions bar us from being surprised by people. Assumptions keep things the way they have always been. Assumptions need no defenses or votes to stay put. Assumptions supposedly strengthen us, so we never have to feel overwhelmed, vulnerable, or change anything we do. Just like assumptions can form a vicious cycle in restaurants, their poison can seep into our churches as well.
One of Paul’s most personal letters within the New Testament is what we call 2 Corinthians. Paul comes off quite defensive throughout the letter, often giving his qualifications for ministry, stating his good character repeatedly, and answering the charges of his opponents in Corinth. Paul even names his critics in Corinth “super-apostles” (2 Cor 10:5). These critics went out of their way to pick apart Paul’s background, behavior, and motivations. They claimed Paul was not a good speaker. They said Paul broke promises he made and should not be trusted. They told people Paul came off boldly in his letters, but in person he was timid and quiet like a shady person with something to hide instead of a true representative of Christ. They questioned whether Paul really loved the church at Corinth or if he was just hoodwinking them for money.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul makes several points to defend himself, but the main purpose of the letter is to recruit the church’s help in raising funds for fellow believers struggling in Jerusalem. He also lets them know about his long-term plans to broaden the spread of the gospel of Jesus Christ to unreached peoples west of Corinth, but before making those positive points he spends a long time answering his critics. His letter could have been much shorter without all the assumptions at play among some church members: Assumptions that Paul was not the person they thought he was, that the marks of godliness and speaking on behalf of Christ are all flashy and showy, that God is never at work through weakness.
That last assumption is one of the key themes of both 1 and 2 Corinthians: God works through weakness. On this side of the kingdom God’s people are most like Christ when they are most vulnerable. We ought to open ourselves up to others by loving them, being generous, taking risks, and never assuming. Once we do so we may find people criticizing us for being timid and weak, because we are trying new things and risking failure and rejection. But, as Christ himself reminded Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9a). Paul responded to this reminder by saying, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:9b-10).
Stop assuming assumptions make you strong, because they never do. Only Christ’s grace can do that.
Of course, not every waiter or waitress operates this way all the time. I can think of several instances when our family received excellent service. After sharing my observation to friends who used to wait tables, I heard about a vicious cycle afoot at restaurants. The wait staff assumes certain people (in my case, families with small children) will tip poorly no matter how hard the wait staff tries, so they will not waste any extra effort to provide these people with excellent service. From my point of view, if I receive lackluster service, I am tempted to tip accordingly. Another family with small children tipping poorly reinforces the wait-staff's assumption, so the next time someone else of my type dines in the restaurant, the vicious cycle will repeat itself.
Assumptions stink. Assumptions keep us locked into our old habits, whether they are helpful or not. Assumptions bar us from being surprised by people. Assumptions keep things the way they have always been. Assumptions need no defenses or votes to stay put. Assumptions supposedly strengthen us, so we never have to feel overwhelmed, vulnerable, or change anything we do. Just like assumptions can form a vicious cycle in restaurants, their poison can seep into our churches as well.
One of Paul’s most personal letters within the New Testament is what we call 2 Corinthians. Paul comes off quite defensive throughout the letter, often giving his qualifications for ministry, stating his good character repeatedly, and answering the charges of his opponents in Corinth. Paul even names his critics in Corinth “super-apostles” (2 Cor 10:5). These critics went out of their way to pick apart Paul’s background, behavior, and motivations. They claimed Paul was not a good speaker. They said Paul broke promises he made and should not be trusted. They told people Paul came off boldly in his letters, but in person he was timid and quiet like a shady person with something to hide instead of a true representative of Christ. They questioned whether Paul really loved the church at Corinth or if he was just hoodwinking them for money.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul makes several points to defend himself, but the main purpose of the letter is to recruit the church’s help in raising funds for fellow believers struggling in Jerusalem. He also lets them know about his long-term plans to broaden the spread of the gospel of Jesus Christ to unreached peoples west of Corinth, but before making those positive points he spends a long time answering his critics. His letter could have been much shorter without all the assumptions at play among some church members: Assumptions that Paul was not the person they thought he was, that the marks of godliness and speaking on behalf of Christ are all flashy and showy, that God is never at work through weakness.
That last assumption is one of the key themes of both 1 and 2 Corinthians: God works through weakness. On this side of the kingdom God’s people are most like Christ when they are most vulnerable. We ought to open ourselves up to others by loving them, being generous, taking risks, and never assuming. Once we do so we may find people criticizing us for being timid and weak, because we are trying new things and risking failure and rejection. But, as Christ himself reminded Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9a). Paul responded to this reminder by saying, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:9b-10).
Stop assuming assumptions make you strong, because they never do. Only Christ’s grace can do that.
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