It’s Better For Everyone That Way

Mushroom walk

Eumaeus believes I am being held up. Erin wonders how I gain the confidence to let other people follow me. Emanuel says “the messiah, follow the messiah!” (It’s ok: Eman and I go back a good ways. He’s snarky, but a good fellow overall)

I hope that none of this is true, that I am not being held up and that people are not simply “following” me. But I know it is true that over the past week or so, I’ve received numerous emails asking very specific advice on how to handle very specific parenting/educational situations. I have uncomfortably answered some of them, mostly because it felt more uncomfortable to ignore them than to answer. I have also not answered some and I’m trying to be ok with that. I have a life beyond this subject, of course. Beyond this desk.

Give the above perhaps some sort of brief disclaimer is necessary. So here it is: What I write about here and elsewhere is based on my life, my experiences, and my observations. It is steeped in the bias and hypocrisy we all bring to this world. It is generally written quickly and is unedited. Sometimes I write things that I later wish I hadn’t, although I have only once taken down a post that I felt was overly self-promotional.

I try to always make it clear that I am speaking from this place of personal bias and experience, but there’s no doubt I sometimes fail to do this adequately. I also try to make it clear that our path is not perfect, in no small part because we are imperfect beings inhabiting an imperfect world. I do not think I know any more about how to teach my children or live my life than anyone else knows about how to teach their children or live their life, although I do think all of us know a hell of a lot more than we think we know. We just seem to have lost touch with that knowledge and in the process cultivated certain assumptions about what it means to be human. To live a good life. To educate our children and ourselves. To achieve and to prosper.

Sometimes people want advice. I get that. Sometimes I want advice. But of course how can anyone rightly give advice to someone whose life they know little about? Far as I can tell (though I might be wrong) there is no single right way to be. Certainly, there are ways that don’t make sense to me. There are things that seem silly to me. There are forces that strike me as destructive and tragic. But not everyone sees them in the same light. For instance, I view car culture as holding us captive, while others view it as liberating. I see the growth economy as a dead end, while others see it as their future. Their children’s future. I believe humans have no more right to this world and its resources than the plants and animals, while others believe the world and its resources belong to humans first and everything else second. If at all.

I guess these alternate viewpoints are part of what makes this world interesting and beautiful. I also guess they might be what is destroying this interesting and beautiful world.

For those who truly crave advice, here are few small pieces I feel comfortable sharing. Take them for what you will. Take them knowing they come from a high school dropout who passed part of yesterday evening singing Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (careful, Rhonda) over and over while washing the dinner dishes.

To the greatest extent possible, stay out of debt

Eat real food

Spend as little time as you can stand staring at a screen. Stop reading this blog, even

Don’t assume there are not other stories than the ones our culture tells us

Sleep outside once in a while

At least on occasion, submit to inconvenience

Make something with your hands, something with shape and texture

Listen to yourself more carefully than you listen to anyone else

Also listen to loud music. Sing along with it while you do the dishes but when your spouse asks you to stop for the third time, stop.

It’s better for everyone that way