Quality of Life vs. Life Support ....

Usually people don’t start thinking about ‘quality of life’ until they are either faced with their own mortality or are dealing with a treasured loved one in the final critical stages of life. Sitting in a doctor’s office being forced to confront the grim details of just how bad a life can actually get before succumbing to the inevitable, most of us consider it a no-brainer when it comes to the question of artificially extending one’s life beyond its viability. Illness, old age or even a catastrophic accident has decided to intervene to the point a difficult decision must be made in order to preserve the integrity of the life that once was. The same way a small rock or pebble has the power to cause a ripple effect within an entire pool of water, so too does sudden and often unanticipated circumstances have the power to affect our day-to-day necessitating a decision as to whether or not heroic measures shall be exercised to sustain a life. Thus a finite determination is made based upon the level of quality a person is able to enjoy should life continue as is.

But what about those of us for whom old age is still something in the distance and health is not an issue? Why is it we tend to only consider ‘quality of life’ when we know we’re reaching the end of it?

Eternity is something we strive for in the afterlife, and although most of us don’t like to think of our impending demise, death is something that will eventually visit itself upon each of us one day …. whether or not we feel prepared. So wouldn’t it stand to reason, the quality of the life we live on an ongoing basis is something we should address as quickly as possible? Despite appearances, I’m not speaking to the salvation of your soul. What you believe and how you choose to worship – or not – is a private matter and a conversation for someone other than myself, but I am concerned about how each of us approaches happiness, because that has a direct effect on how we treat others.

In terms of the big picture, I believe most of us already know what he or she wants most out of life …. to be released from the bonds of a bad marriage, to taste victory in the boardroom, to see our children grow into adulthood, to be freed from the bondage of debt, or perhaps to find happiness with the love of our life. Whatever that ‘something’ is you happen to be peering off at in the distance, you must at least pause long enough to ask yourself, “Are you currently sacrificing ‘quality’ by delaying your own ultimate pursuit of happiness?” More often than not, we get so caught up in the day-to-day business of living rather than take the necessary time out to ponder the burning question, “Is this life I’m currently living making me happy? Or am I living the life others have already chosen for me?”

No one should needlessly take on the role of ‘sacrificial lamb’ unless it is of their own choosing. I am all for considering the needs of the collective whole versus that of the individual, but I have often found in my own life that I’m the gerbil running as fast as I can on that spinning wheel doing all the things necessary to make everyone else’s life run smoothly while forfeiting my own desires in the process. As a consummate ‘people pleaser’ it is my nature to want to nurture and care for others – particularly those within my inner circle – and though they don’t really mean to take so much from me at times, as long as I look and act okay, they have no reason to suspect I’m not. Therefore, it is up to me to assume the burden of saying when enough is enough.

It’s been my experience when I’m too busy tending to the demands and needs of others while neglecting those of my own that I am almost unwittingly subscribing to some form of ‘life support’ as a means to sustain my own life during the interim until I can make the time and energy necessary to address my own requirements. As such, crutches can come in many forms, and over the years I’ve enlisted a few regulars, such as working so many hours that by the time I had free time I was too exhausted to think much about whether or not I was content within my own existence. Other behaviors long since long since relegated to history were periods of excessive alcohol consumption, socializing and shopping, and some of what I’ve learned is there’s not enough whiskey in Texas to repair a broken heart, hanging in clubs every night of the week doesn’t keep you from feeling lonely and a closet full of expensive clothes with tags still attached doesn’t make you a better person. Ultimately it’s always better to face your fears and embrace all the rooted emotions – particularly the uncomfortable ones – because this is what will ultimately set you free so that you can pursue happiness without the visible means of support you temporarily used to get yourself by on the way to recovery.

I’ve always admired selfless, even heroic behavior in those who place themselves at risk to save others, but if we look over the course of history the most notable martyrs were hung, beheaded or burned at the stake. If you’re not willing to enlist for the same kind of self-sacrifice, I suggest you focus on the obstacle still standing in the way on your own road to happiness before you regretfully find yourself at the end of that same road with very little left in the way of choice.

Life is a gift, therefore each and every moment is precious and not meant to be squandered, and happiness is the gift we give to ourselves. Oftentimes the road ahead is both long and narrow and filled with blind curves, but refusal to strike out on that journey in pursuit of your own fulfillment can only lead to regret. Therefore, why not give yourself the same opportunity to find the brand of contentment you’ve already given to so many others along the way knowing that should you get lost in the process, you may end up finding something much greater …. your own self-satisfaction.