Going back….
Last weekend I went back to my childhood town of Lacombe, Alberta. I moved to that area in 1974 and moved away in 2010. That small town represented my school years from grade four to twelve. It is hard to believe looking back but I lived in that area for 36 years and had no close friends or ties. I married young, and divorced in 2008. My children went to school in the same schools I went to. They were even taught by some of the same teachers. Now my grandchildren are being raised there.
I moved from Lacombe to the Edmonton area in 2010. From there I made the leap to beautiful Victoria British Columbia in 2011. No matter how unorthodox the move decision was, I have not regretted the move even once. My story is I came to Victoria for a get away at New Years 2010 and decided I did not want to go back to Alberta. I did go back to Alberta for a couple of weeks, applied for several jobs in Victoria, came out to the island for job interviews and stayed. I had moved here by early February 2011.
Having said that I sure do miss having my boys closer, but they are grown men now and choose to live there. I go back every few months to visit my kids and grandchildren. I find that I fly in and out without much fuss these days. I am there to catch up with my boys and play with my grandchildren. I could of course make each trip a day or two longer and squeeze in time with friends and family but honestly I find it too stressful and my anxiety gets out of control. Inevitably there is always a reminder of my daughter that passed in 2004, and I find it too difficult. I choose to visit those most important to me, my kids and grandkids.
Often when I’m there I stay at Matt’s to be closer to the grandchildren. I spend my time playing, chatting and visiting with them, then leave for home. I have a close relationship with Matt and Adam, always have. I also enjoy a wonderful relationship with my grandchildren Mathew and Elizabeth and their mom Haley. We try to connect a few times each week via FaceTime, Facebook, text, mail, or phone. I have even been known to play a game of eye spy via FaceTime, or get a phone call from Mathew telling me he hurt himself.
Going back is weird, odd and often uncomfortable. To get to Lacombe I have to drive by the accident scene and it is as fresh in my mind as if it happened just yesterday. This last trip I saw from a distance a couple people who went to school with my daughter. It brought me happiness to see they are doing well, but at the same time anger that my daughter didn’t have the opportunity to grow old.
The little town of Lacombe is now a city. I see improvements in added street lights, beautiful paved walking trails, upgraded roads and new stores. I’m glad that my kids are there to take advantage of the changes, and grateful I left.
On each trip I also visit the cemetery and my daughter’s gravesite. This time my eldest son Matt accompanied me and I was able to give him the grand tour of all the family plots. My grandmother’s site, her family; my father’s site, his family. I was also able to pay my respects to my Auntie Lorna’s site. She passed recently and I was unable to be there for her funeral. Auntie Lorna and her husband Uncle Sid (who predeceased her) played an important part in my youth, I have many fond memories of them both.
On Monday my youngest son, and my baby, drove me back to the airport to catch my flight home. Home to Victoria, my new husband, my pups and our life here. It was an amazing visit as always, but great to come home.
