I have been reliably informed that there is a stingray in this pictureMy three-year-old son and I were walking along the dock. His mother had gone on ahead to take pictures of the stingrays gliding through the shallows.
Son: "What's that?"
*points to dock*Me: "Don't step on that, kiddo. That's bird poopies."
Son:
*takes exaggerated steps around a massive clot of pelican poop* "Birds pee on there, too."
Me: "Well, I don't know if they pee on there. I don't even know if birds
do pee."
Son: "They
did. Lots of time ago. They pee on there."
Me: "Okay."
Son: "Lots of time ago birds have lots of penises."
Me:
*caught between dismay and fascination* "Oh?"
Son: "Yeah. They have lots of bad penises and pee lots of time ago."
Me:
*struggling with the mental image of a multi-penised bird soaring above, micturating on the dock* "Uh, okay."
Son: "Yeah!"
*runs to catch up to his mother*Nobody told me that parenthood would be like this: peeing prehistoric penis birds. Lord only knows what other strange beasts lurk in the soup of his imagination.
(As it turns out,
birds don't pee.)
Published on June 25, 2014 05:19