The secrets of my success...

A lovely fan the other day asked me if I had any advice for aspiring writers. After thinking about what I could offer that hasn't already been said, I came up with a few pointers that I thought might not only help her, but perhaps help anyone else looking for a few pearls of wisdom.

The first thing I will suggest is that all of these little bits of advice are things I've learned over the years and I've incorporated into my own current style. None of them are going to magically turn you into a successful writer, but all of them have helped me reach a modicum of success, and as I'm a firm believer that book sales are the ultimate critic, then by those standards, these pearls seem to be working. :)

So, without further ado, let's get to it!

The first thing I would suggest to a newbie is to approach your novel as being read, not by a wide audience of nameless faces, but instead by only one individual. Someone, in fact, from your inner circle whom you'd trust to show up with a shovel should you ever make a call that begins with, "Hi. There's a body in my living room. You free for some wine and a little midnight, moonlit 'gardening'?"

The reason you need to write the book to a specific person is because it will really help to humanize your writing and assist you in developing your own individual voice. Think about this as an example; if you were up on stage and speaking to a wide audience, you'd likely be very formal or professional in your speech. You might even come off a bit stilted.

BUT if you were speaking directly to your BFF, (the gal with the shovel), then your word choices would be much more engaging, conversational, and free flowing.

One caveat here; the reason I suggest you write your prose to someone willing to show up with a shovel for the 'gardening' party, and not your mom, sister, neighbor, boyfriend, or finicky coworker is because when you write you've got to imagine that it's a conspiracy of equals between you and this awesome pal; someone who won't judge you for carrying around a murder plot in your mind, or who won't have a hard time making eye contact after they read that chapter that begins, "The steam from the shower clung to his naked body, caressing it in all the places my fingers wanted to explore..."
If you're going to bare those bits of your soul that would make you vulnerable to raised eyebrows, then you're less likely to go for it if you know your mom and dad will be reading it. Go ahead and save that mental anguish for the dedication page. ;)

My second tidbit is to have you do a brief exercise: Begin by taking a look at the number 1 on your keypad. See that "!" right above the 1? Wave at it. Blow it a little kiss. And say your goodbyes. You won't be using that for awhile.

Often I'll start a new book from a newbie and within the first paragraph I'm already setting the book back down. The first page of any book, (in my humble opinion), should be void of the exclamation mark. Hell the first chapter should be void of such things.

Why? Well, think about your book not so much as a window into another world, but as the random door to a hotel room. Now, imagine yourself as a curious reader with a master key who's strolling the corridor of said hotel, looking for something interesting to peek in on. And let's say that the door you opened first revealed a room where PEOPLE WERE YELLING! AND THERE WAS SO MUCH DRAMA! AND THINGS WERE BEING THROWN RIGHT AND LEFT! AND THERE WERE BODIES ON THE FLOOR!

How long would it take you to slam shut that door and run away to a completely different hotel? One paragraph? Half of one? Yeah, me too.

Consider beginning your story with a more moderate approach. Think of your novel being narrated by Alecia Florrick from the Goodwife. Juliana Margulies does a masterful job of keeping Alecia calm, cool, and collected no matter what's going on around her. Bring a calm approach to your narration and you'll lull your reader into thinking the world through the eyes of your protagonist is a comfortable place to come hangout for a while.

Now this doesn't mean there can't be drama - that's kind of required if you're writing anything other than a textbook, but it's how you spin the drama around someone neutral that will give you some good milage. Be the calm in the storm when you write and you'll go very far indeed.

My next tidbit has been a key element to my longevity as a writer, and that's using humor. Timing is everything, especially when it comes to where to put in a punchline. I've read some stuff by some very funny people who can't get out of their own way because they write with the intention of trying to be funny with every. Single. Sentence. Now, I know that some writers just aren't funny, and they likely know that too, so they don't dabble in the punchy one-liners and they still write amazing books, but I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the fiction/cozy crowd who covets the great zinger or quippy reply. So, if you're someone who can bring on the "Haha!" - this next piece of advice is directed at you.

The thing to remember is that humor is BEST placed subtly, and unexpectedly. If you can bring a quippy punchline at the moment you've got your reader's heart racing from a super intense scene, then you have just won the reader, my friends. They'll stay with you for many more chapters solely for the fact that you just took them on an emotional roller coaster and got them to laugh right before the coaster came back to the station. Your flag officially reached the summit. Great job, newbie!

Another fantastic place for humor is in the banter between characters. That back and forth, flirty, one-upmanship can really bring some wonderful romantic tension to your story.

And even as I say that, I will admit that my absolute favorite place for the use of a great one-liner is in the confrontation of the bad guy. Oooo, is there anything more delicious than when the bad guy is evil AND quick-witted? Or even better, when, in the face of imminent harm, the protagonist refuses to cower and comes back with something snarky and defiant? These scenes can give you tons of milage if you can pull them off.

So, if you can come up with something quippy, then do, but don't overuse it or force it, and consider its placement carefully.

A special note here: funny scenes are MUCH more difficult to write than quippy dialogue, and I rarely run into someone who can pull off an entire funny scene well. Think of it like this: LOTS of people can pretend to slip on a banana peel, but there was only one Lucille Ball. Your timing has to be perfect and your skill level needs to be very good if you're going to attempt this.

In other words, if you're just starting out, perhaps practice first on being quippy rather than writing about that private investigator chasing a suspect through town in those clown shoes.

Now, I've saved my best tidbit for last, and this has to do with dialogue. LOTS of people screw up dialogue. L.O.T.S. Even great writers hack it up, but there are a few things you can keep in mind when writing dialogue that will help you master it.

The first key is to consider the contraction - I'll. We'll. How're. You've. You're...etc., etc. Whenever you write dialogue, use contractions liberally. LIBERALLY. Why? Because when you talk you use them. i.e., in casual conversation you're not all, "How are you today? I am fine. We are going to go to the mall later. You are invited to come. I will call you later to confirm."

Asleep yet? Yeah. Me too. If someone came up to you and spoke this way you'd likely excuse yourself as quickly as possible because, clearly, that fool is weird!

Now consider this as an alternative: "Hey, there! How're you? I'm good, but we're heading to the mall in a few. Wanna come? Cool! I'll call you later with the deets."

Yes, yes, I softened up the dialogue a bit more by using common slang added to the contractions, but only to illustrate my next point which is; whenever you're writing dialogue write how you TALK not how you THINK.

A good test to see if you're doing it well is to read aloud your dialogue word for word. If you start to trip over yourself it's because your brain wants to convert your text into the way you speak, not the way you think and it's having a hard time making the conversion. If that is in fact the case, take another look at what you've written and consider how you would say the same speech to someone, (i.e. that shovel-wielding BFF), sitting directly in front of you.

In the same vein, feel free to experiment. I used the word, "Rilly" for "Really" in a book not too long ago and it turned the speech into something fun, flirty, and playful which helped to dispel the tension from the previous chapter. In fact, I regularly make up words and phrases because I love to break rules and have fun with language. Anyone who's read my stuff knows that I'm going to hack away at the English language, and put combos together that have no business being together, but that's fun for me, and, I'd like to think, fun for the reader too.

My point is that doing this can really give your writing a unique sense of style and make you memorable to a reader. One last caveat on that front, however, and that is to avoid overusing that technique, because these fun play on words or made-up words can cause what's known as a mental hiccup to the reader - basically that's any time you create a situation where the reader pauses and pulls out of the world you've created to stare at what you've written with a big, "Huh?' hovering in their mind. Less is sometimes more. :)

Alrighty! That's about all the pearls I've got for one blog entry. Hope they help you aspiring writers out there, but feel free to chuck any of the advice that doesn't work for your particular style.

Hugs, my Lovelies,

Victoria